We Are Actually Not Alone: The Meaning of Loneliness in Repentance

How do we repeatedly miss opportunities for something as precious as true repentance? We even have a verse warning us: "For this commandment is very close to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can fulfill it." From this verse, we learn we need not engage in a deep search, nor wait for an era of rockets and spaceships to reach the heavens. It is not so, because this is an easy and human action, and above all, this magnificent miracle called by everyone "complete repentance" is entirely natural. So what causes the paralysis when facing this wonderful thing called "repentance"?

Let's think together: What is the first emotion that grips us during "the act of repentance"? What is this fundamental emotion that casts a heavy fog over this entire system of repentance? There is an emotion here that seems to paralyze us, yet it is essential to the process and to understanding it: the emotion called loneliness.

This emotion is paralyzing, unhealthy, and unproductive. Usually, if we talk about loneliness with someone, we already release the loneliness and the emotion itself, so the correction of the feeling of loneliness is seemingly when we are actually in it - that is, truly in loneliness.

Let me share a story: After a forced landing in the Pacific Ocean, a religious Jew found himself on a deserted shore, the sole survivor among the wreckage of a plane on its way to Los Angeles. In vain, he searched for other survivors from morning to night; it was his daily routine on the island, to look for more human beings on this piece of land he was on, until the day he would be rescued himself.

How long, do you think, should pass until the Jew stops his searches? When should he raise his hands and understand that there are no other survivors besides him? As a religious person, from the first moment he raised his eyes to the heavens, he did not feel alone. The most initial feeling in such a place and circumstances is "I am not alone; Hashem is with me and will help me, will send a rescue team, and I will get out of this, and I will not be alone anymore." We see that on one hand stands loneliness: I am alone here, and Hashem is with me. And another feeling that does not give rest: I cannot be alone, so where are the other survivors?

(Photo: Flash 90)

Repentance is taking a deep breath of love and intimacy. Being alone is the most powerful state and feeling; there is no replacement for it, not even for a second. It is the most essential feeling for a person, from which a full life of true giving grows, and every achievement of the other begins from there. One must be careful and distinguish between being lonely and being egocentric. One has Hashem, and the other does not. The emotion of repentance is essentially a positive feeling of loneliness.

It is man's loneliness in the face of Hashem's immense love. It is the power that gives us hope that there are still people in the world living from the strength and love of the Creator. It is that personal and powerful feeling that will take them back to a world full of good.

When a baby is born, everyone awaits its scream, which is a sign that it is alive and kicking. The baby screams: "Don't leave me alone!" When a person leaves the world, he does so in complete silence - I am not alone at all. Wishing you a good and sealed writing, amen.

Rabbi Gad Zarbiv is the Rabbi of Beit Knesset 'Zera Emet Habaim Yishresh', Tel Aviv