Why Did Elisha ben Avuya (“Acher”) Leave Judaism? Lessons on Faith, Struggle, and Return

Eitan asks: "Hello. I wanted to understand: how is it possible that ‘Acher’ (Elisha ben Avuya) abandoned Judaism, even after he saw its truth? And how is it that some religious people in our own time are negatively influenced, even after seeing the beauty of Judaism?"

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Hello Eitan, and thank you for your thoughtful questions.

Elisha ben Avuya, who was also the teacher of Rabbi Meir, is called “Acher” (“the Other”) in the Talmud. The Talmud in Chagigah (14b) tells us that Elisha studied mystical secrets together with Ben Azzai, Ben Zoma, and Rabbi Akiva. The four of them “ascended to the heavens” (a spiritual vision) and their souls beheld upper worlds and angels. Such an exalted experience was also extremely dangerous.

• Ben Azzai saw things he was not meant to see, and his soul never returned.

• Ben Zoma was harmed spiritually by what he saw.

• Elisha ben Avuya witnessed angelic actions that confused him, and together with other traumatic events, this led to his spiritual breakdown and eventual abandonment of Judaism.

• Only Rabbi Akiva emerged unharmed, whole and strong.

Our sages said: “The greater the person, the greater his evil inclination” (Sukkah 52a). Elisha faced extraordinary trials. He even heard a heavenly voice declare: “Return, wayward children — except for Acher.” Despite this, he passed away in a state of tearful repentance. The Talmud recounts that as Elisha was dying, Rabbi Meir urged him to repent. Elisha asked: “Even someone like me — will my repentance still be accepted?” Rabbi Meir quoted the verse: “You bring man back to dust, even to the very end of his soul” (Psalms 90:3). Elisha wept until he died. Rabbi Meir said: “It seems that he died in repentance.” Later, the Talmud tells how Rabbi Meir saved him from Gehinnom (Chagigah 15b).

We cannot fathom the weight of trials that a soul of his stature faced, especially in a generation of divine concealment when the Ten Martyrs were executed. The Talmud relates that Elisha witnessed the mutilated body of Rabbi Chutzpit the Translator, and such horrific scenes shook his faith (Chullin 142a).

Even so, the fact that Elisha’s teachings appear in Pirkei Avot (4:20) shows that his life and fall carry profound complexity and moral lessons.

In answer to your question about those who “leave religion” in our time, these are usually young men and women. In youth, desire and ego are at their strongest. But as a person matures by building a family, caring for a spouse and children, he naturally becomes less self-centered and rediscovers that life is not about chasing pleasures, but about responsibility and values. For this reason, many who stray in their twenties often return to religious strength in their thirties.

Statistics confirm that mature, educated adults in the religious world rarely abandon Judaism. The majority who do so are young and seeking “personal freedom”, not realizing the deep truth of the teaching: “Man is born to toil” (Job 5:7), and “Whoever throws off the yoke of Torah, is given the yoke of government and worldly burdens” (Avot 3:5). Eventually, life teaches this lesson.

Consider the contrast:

• The Baal Teshuva (returnee to faith) strives harder to honor parents, cares about the Jewish people, overcomes selfish drives (pride, envy, lust, anger), lives with modesty, honors and uplifts his spouse, raises children with care, studies Torah, refines his character, and contributes to society.

• The one who abandons faith tends to turn inward, focused only on personal desires such as comfort, wealth, status, honor, and fleeting pleasures, often at the expense of parents, siblings, and those who care about him.

In most cases, their rebellion is not theological, but personal. Painful family experiences, lack of love, failed authority figures, or unhealthy friendships often precede the spiritual collapse. The rebellion against Judaism often masks a deeper rebellion against those who hurt them.

It is telling that such people coined the term “yotzim b’she’ela” (“those who leave religion by asking questions”). The classic Jewish phrase “to do teshuva” doesn’t mean “finding an answer to a question,” but “returning” — coming back to God: “Return, Israel, to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled in your sins” (Hosea 14:2). Ironically, by naming themselves “those who go out with a question,” they revealed their misunderstanding of Judaism’s basic language. It is not that they sought answers, but that they sought excuses for leaving.

In truth, Judaism is not a burden. It is a framework that brings joy, meaning, and stability. The Torah is the soul’s instruction manual. It offers wisdom, emotional strength, healthy families, better marriages, and values for raising children. Research even shows that Torah-based living promotes longevity, mental clarity, and happiness. Countless Baalei Teshuva testify that before, their lives felt empty, but upon returning they became happier, stronger, and more fulfilled.

May all who stumble find their way back home in peace and wholeness.