It's True, the Torah Aligns with Human Emotions

Much has been said, written, and proven about the impact of the commandments on us as human beings. In my studies of this subject, I am continuously amazed anew.

In this short article, I would like to share with you an astonishing point. I noticed it while reading material on human psychology. When you feel the wonderful influence of the commandments on you and sense their beauty, you automatically recognize the following beautiful point. This is what happened to me...

The system of commandments is designed to positively influence a person in several dimensions. We will focus our discussion on commandments that cultivate and develop positive feelings in our lives and commandments that create proper coping with feelings of sorrow.

Studies show that the joy people feel, for example, after a large monetary win diminishes after about a year[1]. Interestingly, the Torah commands that any person who just got married, built a house, or planted a vineyard is exempt from all communal obligations and is even prohibited from going to war. He must focus on his happiness, invest in its development, and make the most of it for himself and his loved ones for an entire year![2] "He shall be free at home for one year and shall make his wife whom he has taken happy; he shall not go out with the army nor be charged with any business"[3]. The mentioned studies simply confirm what the Torah commanded. Incidentally, much can be learned from this commandment about how the Torah values the feelings of joy a person has and the importance of a person's happiness is clear.

Additionally, studies show that people who have been in accidents return to emotional routine about a year after the event[4]. In the commandment of mourning a deceased parent, we also find that the Sages required a person to mourn for a year! During the year, the intensity of mourning is gradually reduced. From the time of the death until the burial "no comforters come to offer condolences, while his dead is laid out before him," for he has not yet processed the loss. Then, three days are focused more on crying—processing the loss. After that, until seven days from the death, he receives condolences, placing great importance on the mitzvah of comforting mourners. It's clear why; there is a significant contribution here to contain the grief. Then, thirty days of mild mourning customs, like abstaining from haircuts, followed by another phase of lightening the mourning that focuses only on refraining from great joy. There is a gradual process here of proper coping while avoiding repression of the great upheaval. It is very important not to suppress a strong feeling of upheaval, for several reasons, including that a person who suppresses a difficult emotion invests much energy in doing so, which can harm his daily productivity. He is also somewhat disconnected from emotions in general, as he is avoiding feeling. The Torah ensured that such a difficult emotion would not be repressed and harm the person. How much the Torah and the Sages cared and how important they considered our feelings and building a balanced and happy person!

May Hashem grant that we always serve Him with joy, and with the understanding of the importance of the commandments.