The Torah’s Commandment of “Love Your Neighbor” and Its Boundaries

From a purely human perspective, the mitzvah “Love your fellow as yourself” is not so simple to grasp. To love strangers the way you love yourself? It would have been more understandable if the Torah had commanded us to help, to be considerate, to care. But to love? And not just love, but love as you love yourself?

The Torah wished to elevate the Jew above natural tendencies. Through this mitzvah, Israel becomes united, unlike other nations. The Torah commanded us with something far from simple: to love our fellow Jew as much as we love ourselves.

The nations, however, were not commanded in all the mitzvot of the Torah, nor are they commanded to love us (and they generally do not). Therefore, we are also not commanded to apply to them the same level of love and devotion that we owe our fellow Jews. Of course, it is forbidden to harm a non-Jew, and stealing from a non-Jew is strictly forbidden according to Jewish law. Moreover, the Talmud tells us of sages who taught future generations by performing acts of kindness for non-Jews. According to the strict letter of the law however, we are not commanded to extend the same extra level of loving-kindness toward non-Jews as we do to Jews. Just as it is only natural for a person to care more for their own children than for the neighbor’s children, so too the Torah wants us to extend an extra degree of love and devotion to our fellow people, by loving them as we love ourselves.

Wine of a non-Jew

The prohibition of yayin nesekh (wine touched or poured by non-Jews) was not established to offend or disrespect non-Jews (indeed, a non-Jew understands that this is a religious law, not a personal slight). The reason for this prohibition can be understood on two levels: one halakhic, and one educational.

The Torah forbids us to benefit from idolatry or anything connected to it, and to distance ourselves from idolatry as we do from fire. Unfortunately, many nations historically practiced idolatry, and many still retain idolatrous practices today. Wine holds a central role in Judaism as we sanctify Shabbat and festivals over it. Because the wine of idol-worshippers was often used for their rituals, the Torah and Sages forbade Jews from drinking such wine.

The concerns still apply today. Christians, for example, believe in a man-deity named Jesus and in the Trinity, a doctrine of three gods. Many authorities debate whether this belief is considered idolatry. Christians also perform a ritual with wine, believing that it becomes the blood of the crucified man. Muslims, while believing in one God, nonetheless preserve certain ancient pagan customs, for instance, bowing toward Mecca and venerating the Black Stone, which historically belonged to idol-worshippers. For this reason, Jewish law rules that Muslim wine is forbidden to drink, but not forbidden for other forms of benefit.

The Torah wanted us to keep far away from idolatry and all practices tied to it, leaving no room for compromise. Therefore, we may not drink wine opened by a non-Jew. As a Jew who does not wish to offend others, one should avoid situations in which a non-Jew offers wine. The Sages themselves established decrees to prevent such scenarios.

“Israel shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned among the nations” (Numbers 23:9). God wants the Jewish people to remain distinct from the nations of the world, not blending with them or adopting their non-divine lifestyles. This is not about racism, since any non-Jew who accepts the Torah and mitzvot becomes a full Jew in every respect.

The Torah seeks to distance us from those whose ways are far from God and Torah. Non-Jews who do not keep Torah often live with values of looseness, vulgar speech, violence, and other behaviors contrary to holiness. By prohibiting shared meals, drinking wine in non-Jewish taverns, and close bonds with non-Jews, Judaism shields us from being influenced by their ways. As the Talmud (Avodah Zarah 31b) says, another reason for the wine prohibition is to prevent social mingling that could lead to forbidden intimacy. Thus, the prohibition is anchored in two concerns: yayin nesekh (wine linked to idolatry) and intermarriage prevention (Yoreh De’ah 129:11).

Although we are not commanded to love non-Jews with the same commandment as our fellow Jews, we are certainly forbidden to harm them or their feelings. One should therefore avoid situations that could cause offense, and if necessary, explain politely that the restriction is a religious law, not something personal.