Finding Light After Loss: A Mother’s Journey from Stillbirth to Supporting Others Through Photography

“Nothing can truly prepare you for ending a pregnancy without a living baby,” says Henny Maskowitz, a photographer specializing in newborn and family portraits. “Pregnancy is such an emotional, joyful time, full of anticipation. How can it possibly end with empty arms?”

That’s exactly what happened to Henny during her sixth pregnancy, after five completely normal ones. “From the very beginning, I felt something wasn’t quite right,” she recalls. “I couldn’t explain what it was, but I didn’t have a good feeling. I tried to calm myself and believe everything would be fine, but deep down, I wasn’t at peace.”

Henny lives in Ashdod, and about three months before her expected due date, tragedy struck: a rocket fired from Gaza hit a young man on a nearby street, killing him instantly. “It’s been four years, and I still tremble remembering it,” she says. “All the rescue teams passed right under my home — it was traumatic beyond words. I didn’t see the scene, but the sounds and screams were too much. Of course, we can’t know for sure, but two days later I didn’t feel well. When I went to the hospital, they told me the pregnancy was over — our baby girl was no longer alive.”

Turning Trauma Into Purpose

Henny speaks with raw emotion about her days in the hospital and the painful moments that followed. “It was a devastating trauma. I love children so deeply. Thank God, I already had a big family and amazing kids at home, but every pregnancy feels like the greatest gift in the world. Even though my pregnancies were never easy, I always knew it was worth it. This time, I was heartbroken with longing for the baby girl I never got to meet. The sense of separation stayed with me long after I left the hospital.”

One sleepless night, Henny made a decision that would change her life: to transform her pain into something meaningful. “That’s how I started a support group for women who experienced stillbirth,” she says. “At the same time, since I’d already been working for years as a photographer, I decided to add a new specialty of newborn photography. I’d always been drawn to it, and I felt this was my moment. Instead of drowning in what I’d lost, I would channel my longing for another baby into photos that would give me strength and hope.”

Wasn’t it hard to photograph newborns after losing one yourself?
“That’s a very fair question,” Henny admits. “The day I was released from the hospital, I found out my sister-in-law had given birth, and I broke down crying. I knew it wasn’t logical — her joy had nothing to do with my loss, but it made me confront the emptiness inside me. It was hard to attend brit milah celebrations or baby dedications; I just couldn’t bring myself to smile when I was grieving.

“But alongside the pain came a deep yearning for healing. I believed I’d one day have a healthy baby again. That hope became part of my prayers and my new focus — learning the art of newborn photography. It gave me something to hold on to. Even when month after month passed without a new pregnancy, I kept buying little props for baby shoots, telling myself: ‘One day, God willing, your own baby will come — and you’ll create the most beautiful newborn album you’ve ever made.’”

Healing Through Hope and Photography

Eventually, that miracle came. After months of waiting, Henny learned she was pregnant again. “It was the pregnancy of Mali, our amazing daughter — a child of prayer,” she says, her voice full of gratitude. “She brought so much light into my life, and I thank God for her every single day. Two years later, we were blessed with another beautiful baby girl. Thank God, our home is full of joy.”

As she continued raising her children and building her photography business, Henny’s newborn sessions began to flourish. But amid the success, a new idea took root. “I asked myself: maybe now — when things are going well, is the time to give back to women who went through what I did. Maybe I can help them find light again through ‘Rainbow Baby’ photoshoots — sessions for babies born after a loss.”

Henny made a commitment she still keeps today: once a month, she photographs a “Rainbow Baby” and gifts the family a free newborn photo album. “I offer it both to mothers who have already given birth again and to those still waiting — to give them something to dream about, something to hold onto.”

Giving Voice to Silent Pain

Henny hopes her project will also raise awareness about the reality of stillbirth — something rarely discussed publicly. “So many women have told me they felt completely alone after their loss,” she explains. “You go through labor, but instead of joy, you experience grief — and the people around you often don’t understand how to respond.”

“I personally heard so many hurtful comments,” she continues softly. “People said things like, ‘At least she didn’t die after birth,’ or ‘How can you miss someone you never met?’ Those words cut deep. Thankfully, there were also those who simply held me, without words — and that support gave me the strength to move forward.”

“I wish every woman expecting a baby to leave the hospital with full arms,” Henny says. “But I also want them to appreciate and cherish what they have. And for any woman who goes through what I and others have endured, know this: there is hope, there is life after loss. I’m living proof.”