"She Said Her Husband is Certainly Watching Over Her from Above and Will Also Watch Over the Baby to be Born"

"I can't digest what I experienced today," Celine, a young woman, tells me as we chat shortly after she left the home of a woman who lost her husband in the surprise attack on Simchat Torah. No, she doesn't know her, and they had never met before, but Celine came as part of a special project that connects volunteers with bereaved families, allowing them to meet and provide strength.

"I received a name and address of the woman," shares Celine, "I was told she is 27 and pregnant, and briefly informed about her husband who was murdered, but beyond that, I knew almost nothing. I only got the residential address, not even a phone number."

Celine chose to attend the meeting with her husband. "At first, we didn't know what to say, so I just introduced myself and handed her a letter and a small gift. Then she invited us in, and a spontaneous conversation began, and I felt like I was talking with a heroine of Israel."

Celine's voice chokes as she quotes the woman, who spoke about her husband wanting to save lives but ultimately sacrificed his own: "She was so full of faith, saying she's sure now he is close to the Throne of Glory, watching over her from above and surely will watch over the baby to be born." After half an hour, Celine left the house, leaving her phone number and asking the widow to contact her for anything big or small she might need.

Simply Giving Strength

Celine is one of thousands of volunteers in the project led by Dr. Yael Shoraki-Elfasi, a psychotherapist with extensive experience with terror victims. Ostensibly, it is a simple project connecting volunteers with bereaved families for visits held monthly. But it turns out the fruits of this project are exceedingly moving. "In our experience, these visits create particularly emotional connections, and people are so happy not to be forgotten and visited, often using the relationship formed for further assistance," explains Yael.

How did you come up with this initiative?

"It started with 11 years of activity in an organization for terror victims, the first established in the country. In this activity, I got to know the tough feelings accompanying bereaved families and noticed the great difficulty when more and more terrorist events occur, and the attention that enveloped them moves to others, leaving them alone with grief. This led me to initiate 'Rosh Chodesh Project,' where people not closely familiar with the family come to them every Rosh Chodesh, bringing a small gift and a warm letter, also offering informal help and inquiring about their needs."

Yael notes that in the days she started the project, she didn't foresee the success it would gather. "There's something in the simplicity where a person, not a professional and unfamiliar with the family, speaks genuinely from the heart, and that's what creates the bond," she explains. "For example, we had a case where a 20-year-old volunteer visited a family that lost their daughter. She met a mother who hadn't managed to cope for a long period, and they had a conversation. During the talk, the young woman heard from the mother about her love for painting in her youth, bought her a painting block, and they met regularly to paint together. Thanks to this, the woman went through an amazing rehabilitation process, and this is just one example among countless moving stories."

Touching Connections

Yael took the existing project a step further during the Sword of Iron War, and these days she leads it as two separate initiatives – one being 'Adopting Class' initiative, which is a classroom project inviting high schools from all over the country to participate. The students are divided into pairs, and once a month a different pair from the class visits a bereaved family adopted by the class.

The other initiative is 'Hug and Gift' project. It is conceptually identical to the first initiative, but it is offered to every citizen in Israel who wishes to participate. The only requirement is to commit to visiting a family that lost a loved one in a terrorist attack once a month, deliver them a regular letter and a small gift like flowers or cake, and maintain contact with them. "Recently, bereaved families have contacted me wanting to join the initiative to cheer other bereaved families," Yael shares, "I was so moved I didn't know how to respond."

Do you match families and volunteers?

"Not at all. Our idea is not to do any matching, and this is precisely the magic. Because of the project, connections are formed between people who would otherwise never meet, and between communities so different from one another. People of all kinds contact us, from Tel Avivians to Carliner women who recently joined. The project creates significant connections between parts of the nation, which is so important these days."

Yael emphasizes that as the war continues, the need for new volunteers for the project increases because the number of bereaved families is very high, and the aim is to send volunteers not only to the nuclear family but also to siblings and sometimes to grandparents who feel very close but remain outside the circle. Additionally, there is a need for volunteers to locate families and their addresses. "Our guideline for volunteers is mainly not to make preliminary phone calls but to arrive at the home and simply knock," she explains.

Have families ever been surprised or uncomfortable with such visits?

"This is a question volunteers often ask me," smiles Yael, "and from my experience, we have never encountered an offensive situation or had our volunteers turned away at the door. True, there are cases where the relationship is warm and deep, and cases where it is cooler, but there is always great joy and excitement."

Anyone interested in joining the Hug and Gift Project / Adopting Class can send an email to: yaellelfassi@gmail.com