Yonatan Lober's Brother-in-law: "Yonatan Was Supposed to Celebrate a Birthday This Week, and We Have One Request"

"I am eleven years older than Yonatan, yet he was my teacher," says Eliezer Maimon, Yonatan Lober's elder brother-in-law, with a sense of longing. Yonatan fell in the Gaza Strip last week.

We spoke with him during the days of mourning. The pain is palpable and endless, yet it turns out the stories about Yonatan are also endless. The family, receiving thousands of condolences these days, finds itself continuously rediscovering Yonatan's unique character that made him a beacon for everyone around him.

Doing Hashem's Will

"Since I’ve known Yonatan, I felt there was something special about him," his brother-in-law says. "The main thing that characterized him was his ability to distinguish between what is essential and what is not, doing so with great expertise. For instance, when he first joined the army, he didn’t give it much importance; his friends said that sometimes he would disappear to study in the beit midrash. But when the moment of truth arrived and he entered combat in Gaza, he went all the way with the utmost bravery and courage. He insisted on receiving the 'Negev,' the army's strongest weapon, and carried more ammunition than required to ensure nothing would be lacking. He cleaned and maintained his weapon as people check tefillin—to be the most meticulous and kosher. He examined the bullets like one checks a mezuzah scroll, all believing this was his current role.

"Alongside this, he always kept Hashem's will in front of his eyes. For instance, a friend told us about a time they were guarding a certain place together, and the friend recalled he hadn't prayed Maariv. He asked Yonatan to guard alone for a few minutes so he could pray. Yonatan simply responded, 'Think well if this is what Hashem wants you to do right now.' He said this plainly, not as a sermon or rebuke. He always remembered where Hashem was, and that's where all his calculations came from.

"Another friend who knew Yonatan before the war told us Yonatan once gave a Gemara lesson. When the lesson ended, he asked the friend how it was. Yonatan responded, 'I began the lesson with a Chassidic opening,' and then explained, 'As soon as I entered the classroom, I wrote on the board: "What does Hashem want from me?" and thus we began the lesson, aiming to understand what Hashem wants from us now. We determined that Hashem wants us to learn Torah, and thus we began learning.' I also come from a background of yeshivot and Torah learning, but Yonatan was like a beacon standing above everyone else, embodying how one should conduct themselves—not in the external sense of the color of a kippah or length of tzitzit, but in how to navigate this world. He taught me a lot.

"After Yonatan was killed," his brother-in-law continues, "I set a picture of him as my cell phone's wallpaper. This is very unlike me since I am not one to display external pictures or memories. But here, I acted differently, and when my son asked me about it in surprise, I explained I used to look at Yonatan and learn from him how to live. Now, I can only look at the picture and learn from it, following the saying, 'Your eyes shall see your teachers.' It serves as a reminder of how to truly serve Hashem."

A Hero's Death

Yonatan enlisted the day after Simchat Torah and fought for over two months before falling in battle during one of the most significant operations in Gaza. "His last conversation with the family was on Motzei Shabbat, two days before he was killed," his brother-in-law says. "It was a regular conversation, like the others during the war. In all of them, he reassured us, saying, 'He is not doing anything special' and 'not putting himself in danger,' but only after his death did it become clear that he did a lot. He just didn’t want to worry his parents."

Your father-in-law’s eulogy moved innumerable people. Where do such strengths come from?

"My father-in-law and mother-in-law are incredibly special people," Maimon is sure. "My father-in-law graduated from Yeshivat Mercaz Harav, where he studied for 11 years and then served as an educator for many years. Alongside his spiritual wealth, he is a multi-talented person, managing the Jewish theater 'Asifcla,' and working on many fronts, but above all, he is a Jew living a higher life. For example, during the days of the expulsion from Gush Katif, everyone spoke and struggled, but my father-in-law, instead of talking a lot, simply took his family and moved with them to the Ganei Tal settlement to support the residents close-up. They lived there for six months, not to mention what it meant to move the household's contents to another place and find schools for eight children, all for the ideal.

"Even the family’s bar and bat mitzvah celebrations were very different from the norm. My father-in-law and mother-in-law saw no point in throwing a massive event for a child, asking what message do you convey? That he’s the king of the world? And what would he gain from that? They wanted to do something more meaningful, so half a year before every bar or bat mitzvah, they sent the son or daughter for some volunteer work—whether with a special-needs child, someone in need, or any other place suitable to their character—and they insisted on holding the mitzvah event together with another child to show their child in the most concrete way the meaning of accepting the yoke of mitzvot and entering spiritual life.

"This is why it doesn’t surprise me to see the greatness of my father-in-law and mother-in-law these days, as they become influential figures throughout Am Yisrael. I’m also not surprised by the stories about Yonatan, as this is how the Lober children were raised, these were the values taught from birth. They've learned to live for Am Yisrael and continually consider how to contribute, not out of burden or somberness, but with a lot of humor, joy, and smiles. All for one purpose—understanding that we live for something much greater than ourselves."

Maimon notes that in these days, right after the shiva, Yonatan's two brothers-in-law are set to return to fight in Gaza, having received leave for the shiva. "My father-in-law told me, 'My heart beats at 200 and I do not sleep at night, but how can you tell them no?' And I completely understand him because it is not as if they want to risk themselves. But, throughout their lives, they were taught to sacrifice for Am Yisrael, and they feel it is a tremendous opportunity and privilege."

To conclude, his brother-in-law asks to state: "This coming Thursday, on the 23rd of Tevet, Yonatan was supposed to celebrate his twenty-fifth birthday. We would be very grateful if as many people as possible would strive to simply be better—for the elevation of his soul. I think that among all the wonderful attributes Yonatan had, the one that stood out the most was his love for Israel and his ability to embrace every person as they are. Let us take it upon ourselves to simply love each other, to act together and not out of division. We went through such a difficult time before the war when Am Yisrael was divided, and now is our chance to unite into a strong iron body, strive for victory, and thereby give satisfaction to the Creator and also to our Yonatan."