"I Never Dreamed My Match Would Come Thanks to My Workplace": Shira Dabush-Cohen Shares a Moving Account

This was more than 20 years ago. Shira Cohen was a soldier, shortly before her discharge, when she was struck by one of the most defining moments of her life. "This happened after the death of my grandfather, may his memory be a blessing," she shares. "I was very close to him and loved him deeply. After he passed, I found myself overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings I wasn’t familiar with, accompanied by questions I'd never asked before."

"I found myself asking: 'What is our role in this world?' 'Why did my grandfather die, and where is he now?' 'Is he okay?' 'Is there a way for me to help him in his current place?' and more in the same vein. All these questions led me on a feverish quest for universal truth as well as my own personal truth, trying to figure out where I fit in this mix of thoughts, emotions, and questions. Then came the ultimate question — 'Who is Hashem, the God my dear grandfather so deeply believed in?'"

Shira pauses for a moment, and our eyes meet. To be honest, interviewing Shira, one of my closest colleagues at Hidabroot, feels slightly odd. For years, we've been accustomed to discussing interviewees, consulting over professional issues, and sharing our work experiences with each other. And suddenly, it is Shira who becomes the interviewee.

But this is no coincidence, because Shira is not only a good friend but also a captivating figure, with a compelling life story and insights born from exploring the world and a constant pursuit of truth. Now, as she unveils the beginnings of her return to faith, I have no choice but to listen intently.

From America to Israel

Did you manage to find the answers you were seeking?

"I really wanted to find answers, but had no one to ask, and as these questions grew inside me, so did the feeling of emptiness," Shira explains. "For nearly three years post-discharge, I felt 'useless in the world.' Everywhere I went was accompanied by a deep sense of sadness because no one truly understood what I was seeking and searching for."

Naturally, Shira tried to find "band-aids" to cover the wounds and ease the pain she felt internally. "This is how I came across a local rabbi named Rabbi Yaakov Malka," she recounts. "He recommended I attend a seminar by 'Arachim'."

Shira was 24 when she attended that seminar, and her life changed since. "I met a dear woman there named Mika Leshem, who persuaded me to attend a seminary for returnees in Jerusalem," she recalls. "Mika, the righteous woman, promised me things would be good for me and she would help with whatever I needed. This was one of the best decisions I ever made, as at the 'Ateret' seminary in the Ramot Shlomo neighborhood of Jerusalem, managed by Rabbi Benayahu Halper, I had the fortune to be educated and absorb the essence of Judaism and the Charedi worldview for nearly ten years."

Shira found her God but was searching for herself professionally, which led her to move to the USA, residing in New York for about two and a half years. "During those days, I was part of a household that 'worshipped' Rabbi Zamir Cohen and Hidabroot, and also often hosted rabbis from the organization," she shares. "This led me to want to belong as well, so I started working at 'Hidabroot America'. It wasn't a structured job or full-time position, but it was enough for me to get to know the organization closely and know I wanted to belong."

"When I returned to Israel, I engaged in various fields, including a business I started selling handmade jewelry, and even managed a store in that field. But when a friend told me that 'Hidabroot', this time in Israel and not America, was looking for employees, it was clear to me that I was applying, and by the grace of Hashem, I was accepted."

What was your role at Hidabroot back then?

Shira smiles as she recalls her first role – customer retention from overseas, thanks to her fluency in English. "But later on, when a position opened up for a writer on the website, I 'begged' my employers to let me have a chance," she recalls. "I explained that my lifelong dream was to write and that writing has been with me at every stage of my life. I promised that even if I needed to learn, I was willing to do anything to fit the role, and so it was. I entered the position without any prior journalistic writing experience, only with my faith and motivation to succeed – which eventually proved themselves."

As the site's most veteran writer, what do you think has changed over the years, and what has stayed the same?

"I'll start with what hasn't changed — it's the employees, who are 'soul players', truly working from the heart. You can always recognize the eyes and mind behind this amazing and global action."

"I also think there's a winning formula at Hidabroot, thanks to which the site is so successful. It includes hard work and continuous learning, both of the profession and the audience that reads us, and above all — a sense of mission that overcomes all the challenges and trials in this profession, like in any other."

Regarding changes to the site, Shira shares, "Personally, I feel a change in the type of responsibility I had once, compared to today. This responsibility grows day by day, and I think it's what builds and changes me in this role. Knowing that in your hands there's a very large responsibility and an enormous ability to influence with words for better or for worse — this is what actually brings a huge change of mindset every single day."

"By the way, as part of the change within me, my writing style has also changed. While in the past I was responsible for sections like ‘Celebs in Faith’, ‘Trending on the Net’, and in-depth interviews, over the years, as I got to know myself, I realized I am more of a person for short and easy items with high ratings."

"Today I do everything on the site, including news items, health, family and fertility, women’s issues, trending on the net, and as everyone knows, also columns on singlehood and matchmaking – previously from a single woman’s perspective and now as a married woman."

What’s your secret? How have you become the ‘Queen of Ratings’ for the site? Where do you get all the unique items that aren't seen on other sites?

"These titles are very flattering to me, but it’s clear to me that it’s all thanks to the trust they placed in me, the faith I had in myself, and, of course, the faith in the Creator of the world, because everything is from Him," she says sincerely.

The Story of a Match

Everyone who followed the Hidabroot site in recent years surely remembers the columns Shira wrote on late singlehood, which she published under her maiden name - 'Shira Cohen'. The columns were written from a place of pain and great anticipation, as she shared with readers the difficult emotions she was experiencing and the challenging attempt. I, too, as a colleague, witnessed the not-so-simple journey she was on in trying to find her complementary soul.

Now, blessed be Hashem, you are married and even guiding other women in matchmaking processes. Can you tell us what led you to expose yourself on such a sensitive topic?

"I am so delighted by this question because the truth is that even now, when I remember the path and journey I went through – alongside the trials and difficulty – I remember all the goodness that Hashem sent my way — among others in the form of the columns I wrote for Hidabroot and the workshop ‘Let’s Go Through It Together’ at the ‘Jewish Campus’ from Hidabroot, and it strengthens me to this day."

"It’s no secret that the path of singlehood is fraught with a lot of frustration and hardship. Years before I started writing the column for Hidabroot, I would write to myself just like that, as a way of coping with the disappointments in matchmaking - musings, thought exercises and personal development, songs that marked some attempt or another in matchmaking, and more. Later, when the idea to write a personal column for singles on matchmaking came up - I didn’t have to try too hard. I just pulled out all the notebooks from years past and brought out the thoughts and feelings I had written to myself - onto the page. It was simple because in the meantime, more and more insights by the ‘mature’ Shira were added, and this is what actually came to expression in the columns on singlehood."

"What led me to expose myself personally on such a sensitive topic on the site is the knowledge that I have here an opportunity to strengthen other women in my situation, so they won’t feel what I felt for years - loneliness and a feeling that there’s no one to ask, that no one understands me enough, etc. These are very difficult feelings in the soul, which not everyone can understand, and surely specific tools are needed to deal with them. These tools I sought to provide to anyone reading my columns, when in fact it was, first and foremost, primarily for myself."

"During those years, I received amazing responses, one of the regular commenters was someone dear to my heart, and thanks to her responses, we became friends, although she herself was not single. We corresponded quite a bit, and one day she recommended that I not only write to the readers or to myself but also to my future husband. Her idea brought me to life, and that same day I sat down to write a letter to my husband. Two months later, he came."

If we’re talking about singlehood, Shira wants to convey to single women the so crucial message that in her opinion, is truly life-saving: "There are nowadays excellent ways to preserve fertility, and if the process is undergone at a young age, it can later be much more relaxing. Dr. Chana Klein always cries out about this, and I also think it’s the most important message, as no one wants to find herself right after the wedding in the chaos, literally, of fertility treatments and all that comes with them."

If I'm not mistaken, your match came through Sheva Brachot, which was owned by 'Hidabroot' at the time, right?

"Exactly," she is excited. "There was wonderful divine providence here because while I was registered on the site for a long time, my husband was registered for a short time with Sheva Brachot, and in fact, he only met with me. I must also mention that the editor of the site Dudu Cohen and his dear wife Esther had a double role in my matchmaking because not only did they take care to propose matches to me and think about what could suit me – there were many considerations when I met my husband for the first time. In one instance there was a situation that almost 'canceled' the match, and just before that, I made a wise decision and consulted with Dudu and Esther – who were very good emissaries for me, and they helped me understand that what happened wasn't 'the end of the world'. Thanks to them, I decided to give another chance, and the rest is history. This example I have been giving since to anyone who comes to me for personal guidance with some matchmaking consideration. What you are unsure about isn’t always a reason to break off a match. Since then, much water has flowed under the bridge and thank God, I have already received several invitations to weddings and circumcisions from the women I mentor. May they increase."

Full of Plans

For over a decade, you've been with the site, and you are considered its most veteran writer at 'Hidabroot', perhaps with the longest stretch of content on the site.What keeps you going for so long in the same job?

Shira has a clear answer: "I have been fortunate to love what I do, simply. That’s the secret. When you love, nothing is difficult for you, even if they tell you 'change'. You might change for the other, but it’s more for you, because a person who loves also loves themselves and understands that changes are sometimes for their benefit. That’s what keeps me busy all day with 'Hidabroot', it simply draws me in."

And what fills you when you do have a little free time?

"Torah classes are a daily must for me because without them I am empty. Besides that, I very much love reading these days, mainly investigative pieces and religious books on the weekly Torah portion and Jewish philosophy. On days when I have extra time after work and workshops, I also love singing and actually use it as therapy. In singlehood, I used to sing my songs to Hashem, among other things, at the Shabbat table. Today I sing them to myself in the studio. Singing my songs fills me and gives me a different kind of strength."

And what about going forward, can you tell us about your plans for the near future?

"Honestly, there are so many. I am currently busy writing a book that compiles all the columns I've written on singlehood, including songs I've written in Hebrew and English, with their faithful interpretations, illustrations, and also prayers I've composed over the years. With the help of Hashem, I hope this sees the light of day soon."

"At the same time, I have taken upon myself the important task of raising awareness about topics related to fertility and fertility preservation on the site - and soon a special podcast is expected to be launched in the fertility section of the site, which I will host. It will feature professionals in the field and women who struggled for years to conceive and eventually succeeded, blessed be Hashem. Amidst all this, I, of course, continue with personal mentoring, workshops, and support evenings for single women, hoping to succeed in all these tasks and to bring only good to the world, with Hashem's help."