The First Ethiopian Model: "I Returned to Faith, I Have a Kosher Phone and Full Modesty"

"My life story is hard and complex," Pnina Tesama opens our conversation with these words. She expresses this with pain, but isn’t complaining. Although recalling past years of numerous trials is difficult, she stresses that now, after returning to full faith, she understands it was the right and precise path she needed to follow. "I share my life story truly to strengthen others," she emphasizes, "it’s important to me that people who are deep in trials and struggles, like I was, realize that the world doesn't end. There’s a chance to recover and we mustn’t lose hope."

Poverty, Ostracism, and Struggle

"I came to Israel from Ethiopia with my family at age nine," Pnina recalls her early years in the country, "Initially, we lived in an absorption center in Arad, then moved to Netanya and from there to Ashdod. Our lives were not easy financially, and so when I received an offer to model for a fashion campaign, I agreed enthusiastically."

At 18, Pnina stood under the chuppah for the first time. Within a year, she had a baby girl, but soon after went through a painful divorce. "Since then I've faced very harsh trials," she recounts, "I married and divorced three more times, with each marriage adding another child to the family."

"It’s impossible to describe what someone feels who marries four times and repeatedly returns to the rabbinate to dismantle the homes they built," Pnina notes. "The community didn't support me either, viewing me as different. Throughout, I suffered from extreme poverty and couldn’t keep my head above water to care for myself and my children. For years, I worked in housekeeping, but it wasn’t enough, and when my son celebrated his Bar Mitzvah, I didn’t even have money for tefillin."

Hashem Never Leaves

About 15 years ago, while in severe poverty, Pnina began taking steps towards observing commandments, which quickly evolved into a wholehearted return to faith.

"The truth is, it all started thanks to the Hidabroot organization," she reveals. "Divine guidance led me to their channel, and once I discovered it, I watched regularly. Soon, I became a student of Rabbi Zamir Cohen, who inspired me greatly. Every evening, I would listen and learn from him, studying laws, commandments, and what’s required of me as a Jew."

Didn't you know these beforehand?

"Nowadays, I work in special education and feel I've finally found myself and am doing what's right for me. I love helping children and giving of myself, and am also happy that they don't judge me and accept me as I am. I give them lots of love and receive love back, which brings great satisfaction in life."

Pnina mentions that throughout her return to faith, she felt Hashem’s presence. "Even in tough times, He never left me," she notes with emotion, "even when we celebrated my son's Bar Mitzvah amid deep poverty, relying on school donations, and not even having a minyan to rejoice with us, I received a sign from Heaven that Hashem hadn’t forgotten us. Just as my son was called to the Torah, I got a call from Amigor's representative telling me we’re eligible for an apartment."

Pnina's car

"I recount this and tears fill my eyes," Pnina adds, "I feel there’s no greater Divine Providence than this, and it’s just one example. Hashem never forgot us."

Pnina also emphasizes: "Today, Thank God, I am financially stable, and I have a good relationship with my family. I don't hold a grudge for the ostracism I faced. As a returnee to faith, I wholly believe everything is from Him, and everything is for the best. It's my fate and my children’s fate. I must have a difficult mission to fulfill in this world, a script written for me before I was born. This understanding helps me accept the hardships with love and simply thank God, even for the trials and suffering, for they helped me grow into who I am today."

What helped you through the tough days and gave you strength?

"Nothing helped me; I went through significant hardship, both within my family and financially. For a long time, we relied on charity organizations and good people, but the day I began returning to faith, I felt a unique connection to Hashem, and when I realized He is responsible for everything in the world, I stopped worrying. I held on to the belief that everything is for the good, and even if it's hard for me and I don't understand, I must pray stronger and believe things will improve. On those days, I would often go to the sea, for seclusion, I would repent and regret my past actions, and feel a cleansing spiritual and emotional process, alongside character improvement. I placed stickers at the entrance of my home with the phrase: ‘There is none besides Him’. That phrase has accompanied me since I returned to faith, and I genuinely believe it."

Pnina's home entrance

"I Blessed ‘Shehecheyanu’ and Tied the Covering"

Pnina underwent her return to faith slowly, advancing step by step like a baby learning to walk. "It was important for me to understand the process I was undergoing and to be complete with every aspect I took upon myself," she explains. "Within six months, I was already wearing tights, observing modesty and Shabbat, attending Torah classes, and striving to separate challah weekly. The last thing I needed was a head covering. I struggled to breach this barrier, then a very moving event transpired."

Pnina pauses for a moment, her voice choked with emotion. "It happened on the Fast of Tisha B'Av," she shares, "I went to the synagogue with a siddur and a scarf in hand and joined the prayer. Afterwards, I waited until everyone left the synagogue, then after the last person left, I entered the sanctuary alone and 'tore' myself in tears, telling Hashem: 'I came to you, returned to faith, and rectified my ways, only a head covering remains'. Then, I tied the scarf, blessed ‘Shehecheyanu’ and left the synagogue clad in it. Since then, I wear a head covering, always facing forward. In the last six months, I've stopped watching TV; I have a kosher phone and full modesty, thank God."

And what about the children?

"For my three younger children, returning to faith is part of their lives. I changed their schools and frameworks, and for the past fifteen years, they've been deeply involved in it, much to my joy. My eldest daughter, the model Eden Saban, lives in Tel Aviv; she works in modeling and does not observe commandments, but I believe Hashem will return her to faith as well. Meanwhile, we have a great relationship, based on mutual love and respect. I admire her because she respects her parents to an indescribable degree, and when she visits on Shabbat, she tries to observe as required and honor us. Thank God, I have much satisfaction."

Every morning when I wake up, immediately after ‘Modeh Ani’, I whisper to Hashem: ‘Thank you for another day of faith’. Because I know that nothing in our lives is taken for granted. Not waking up in the morning, not having healthy children, and not the fact that I've been blessed to be close to Hashem, and He cares for me so much."

These days, Pnina received an offer to produce a movie about her life and experiences. "When I was offered this, I was very hesitant and consulted with Rabbi Yosef Chaim Abargil, received his blessing, and he also blessed me to achieve a great sanctification of Hashem's name. Now I’m at the stage where I’m looking for investors for the movie, and I believe it can strengthen many people. That’s my hope and goal. God willing, I will succeed."