The Autistic Boy Who Communicates Through Art: "Mark Paints the War in Ukraine, and Cries, and Cries..."

For 14 years, Mark Refievich grew up diagnosed with profound autism, unable to speak and barely managing to communicate with his surroundings. Even his mother, Natalia, who managed to communicate with him to some extent, felt the disconnect and alienation between them, believing that Mark's level of understanding was very low.

"I never understood why he was so frustrated and appeared to be in depression for long periods," she painfully notes. "Only recently, after discovering the depth of his understanding, did I begin to comprehend the extent of the pain he experienced due to being misunderstood."

Art Without Words

The turning point occurred about two years ago, following a difficult period for Mark. "It began even before the COVID-19 pandemic, when my father, Mark’s grandfather, passed away," Natalia elaborates. "Then COVID hit, with all the lockdowns and quarantines, and finally came the war in Ukraine. Throughout this period, I noticed Mark was interested in films about people who experienced life after death and other similar topics. I felt something was happening in his heart, but I couldn’t speak to him or ask him about it."

Then something interesting happened: "Mark found some crayons and a piece of paper at home, and suddenly I saw him trying to scribble something and draw. The mere desire to draw amazed me because I always dreamed he would write on a page and manage written communication, but whenever I placed a writing tool in his hand, he recoiled, even seemed disgusted. I couldn't believe it when I saw him draw. Next, I bought him acrylic paints and a small canvas, and that very day Mark created his first paintings. This may sound bizarre or improbable, but it was the first time I discovered that Mark knew how to draw."

Natalia notes that Mark is now 16, but in fact, since he was born, he has not uttered a single word. "I don't like using the word 'disability', but to illustrate Mark's level of autism, he has 120% disability, which means as profound as it can get. For years, we had no way to communicate with him; he didn't even smile. Only later did we manage to teach him some form of communication, mainly through mimicry and body movements. Sometimes, when he wants to explain something more complex, he shows me a video on the subject. Now, thanks to the art, we are able to delve deeper into his understanding and, for the first time, understand what interests and occupies him, and even hear the statements he has about them."

Painting Emotions

What can mainly be seen in his art?

Natalia answers with one word: "Emotion." Her voice chokes as she adds, "The first time I understood the depth of Mark's paintings was right before the war in Ukraine. I never thought he was aware of the news, but then he painted a rare landscape picture of Ukraine's streets, dark and painful, adding two similar images afterward. This was when the world was merely talking about the possibility of war, and many didn't even believe it would happen. In hindsight, I can say Mark probably sensed something others didn’t.  

"Next, when the war had already broken out, he painted another example in the same style, and I realized he was trying to signal his pain and the severe emotions overwhelming him. Then, without much thought, I found myself asking him: 'Why do you only paint landscapes? Ukraine is not just land and buildings, try painting people as well.' Then the most touching thing happened when he sat at the paper and painted the people..."

The touching painting of the girl with Down syndrome who was killed in the bombings

Natalia's voice breaks as she continues to describe: "He painted the picture from his point of view, as he sees it, and since he is a child, it seems what hurts him the most is what the children are going through. He painted in the picture tiny children who were never born and already died, and he also painted the suffering Ukrainians. There was something else, a detail that only an outsider who saw the painting pointed out to me – the fact that he highlighted that there are Jewish victims in the war, and on the sides of the picture, he drew people with *tefillin* wrapped on their arms. I must mention the depth of his paintings really frightened me, I never imagined beforehand that he understood things to such an extent.

"Later, Mark watched a very distressing video from the war, reporting on the death of a girl with Down syndrome in Ukraine, which put him in a very bad mood. He roamed the house crying all the time. I knew he was crying because of the girl, and I tried to think of a way to help him. In a moment of decision, I told him: 'Mark, you cannot bring that girl back to life, but you can paint her.' And truly, he painted three beautiful pictures of that girl, and later we made contact with her family and sent them the paintings."

This Is Not a Dream

Does Mark have optimistic and joyful paintings as well?

"Yes, generally, his paintings are full of life, with a very wide range of colors, and many of them are happy and liberated. But he usually paints what he feels, so it often happens that he paints during challenging times, and then the paintings are accompanied by pain."

Do you feel that his ability to paint is having a positive effect on him?

"Yes and no. On one hand, he is much more active, and he is also happy that people admire what he paints and love the pictures. However, on the other hand, when he paints, he really lives the picture and the emotions reflected in it, which sometimes causes him to cry and even erupt in anger and throw the picture over the fence.

"But I must note that I myself feel that his paintings have a positive effect on me. I suddenly realize how many things he understood before, only I was not aware of them, and now I understand there are certain areas where he understands a bit deeper than other people. I look at him differently, and although outwardly all the symptoms of autism and lack of communication remain, I feel that something internal within the root of his soul has changed. This makes me so happy because we have been through years of frustration and difficulty with Mark, and now things suddenly appear completely different. Each morning, when I open my eyes, I whisper to myself: 'This is not a dream, this is reality.'"

Natalia notes that recently they received an offer to exhibit Mark's paintings at a gallery in Tel Aviv, and they accepted joyfully. The exhibition will be held at the 'Shuki Kook' studio and will continue over the coming weeks. "I don't know what the future holds," she adds sincerely. "On one hand, people tell me: 'If he paints like this today, surely his art will become world-class over time.' On the other hand, I know that with autism, there are also regressions, and you can't know if Mark will continue to paint in the future. Meanwhile, we are happy to show the paintings in the exhibition and feel that this is indeed their right place."

Do you share with Mark that his paintings are going to be displayed in an exhibition?

"Of course, he is fully involved in the process, and in every meeting we have with the exhibition organizers, he accompanies us. I am sure he understands this, and I am very happy for him."