The Author Who Returned to Faith: 'This is How I Moved Overnight from Tel Aviv to Mea She'arim'

For more than 30 years, Oded Mizrahi has been writing and editing books, publishing stories in newspapers and bulletins, all of which share a common theme of faith and drawing closer to the Creator. Yet, when asked to talk about himself, he seems to run out of words.

"What can I say?" he asks simply, "I'm originally from Eilat, where I was born and raised. After finishing school, I served in the intelligence corps and then continued to study literature and cinema at Tel Aviv University. As time passed, I became particularly attached to literature and poetry. I was quite happy with my life, as much as one can be happy with such a life, and I saw my future in one of the literary fields - teaching, writing, or academia. Until something unexpected happened - I discovered that the Torah might be true, something that never even occurred to me, and it completely changed my life."

Oded in his childhood in Eilat

A Moment of Truth

As Oded reflects on those days, he seeks precision: "I always knew the Torah existed, but I regarded it as ancient and largely irrelevant. I thought people believed in it because it made them feel good and calm. I never believed there could be something truly authentic in the Torah. When I began to understand the significance of the Torah, it intrigued me greatly and opened a marvelous world for me. It was intimidating, true, but more than anything, it gave me tremendous hope. Until then, I had lived under the impression that reality was just what I saw - what was right in front of my eyes and could be experienced with the senses, and nothing beyond that. The revelation about the Torah changed my entire understanding, because I suddenly began to realize that reality is not only what we see but also an immense and endless wonder."

But how did it happen, how did you become aware of it?

"The truth is, it was thanks to my friend, Micha, who returned to faith before I did. We had a pivotal, fascinating conversation that exposed me to the truth."

Oded has written several stories about his personal journey, some more detailed and some shorter. He chooses to quote a short excerpt from one of them to illustrate what he felt at that time: "The acceptance of the Torah knows neither time nor place," this is how he describes the moments of discovering the truth. "There is no recollection of the infinite light that comes after many generations, and its purpose is unfathomable. World wars, the Holocaust, the founding of a state, wars alongside prosperity. The light was hidden among the black and exiled angels who adhered to it despite everything, alongside their brothers who rolled up their sleeves to fight for their independence in the wondrous state. The black angels lived with the hidden light, guarding it in the ghettos of Jerusalem and Bnei Brak, with the hidden hope that their brothers would covet the treasures once all the ends would be reached. At dawn, I sprawled along with my friends on mattresses. Then something happened that I will never forget. I began to speak in my troubled sleep to the Holy One, blessed be He. I was like a dreamer."

Oded Mizrahi

How does one feel when discovering the truth?

"Exactly as I described in the story: 'I was like a dreamer', at first it was exciting and amazing. But very quickly I began to feel a great dilemma about how my path should look from now on. In those days, 40 years ago, it was not common to return to faith and continue living your regular life. It was a period following the return of Rabbi Uri Zohar ztz"l and a few other prominent and seasoned Ba'alei Teshuva. I saw in each a tangible example that once you return to faith, your life has to change by 180 degrees."

Oded pauses for a moment and reflects: "I used to think that returning to faith in the past was more complex, but as time passes, I understand that today the challenges are no less, and I will explain myself: 40 years ago, if you started your life as secular - 99% you would end them that way, and vice versa. Today, however, the boundaries are much less clear and there's much more room for personal choice. On the other hand, the definitions are less clear, truth is not painted in black and white, but has many shades, and the choice is yours - to choose the exact and right shade for you precisely."

Oded returns to his personal story: "The moment I became aware of the truth, I entered into a great inner struggle, debating whether to even begin the return to faith process. In those days, I owned an apartment in Tel Aviv that I received from my parents. I lived there during my military service and university, and I could continue living there for many more years. The thought of leaving everything behind and going to Jerusalem to study in a yeshiva and change my identity, essence, and appearance seemed like suicide to me.

"I experienced a great battle within myself, and the more I thought about what I had to do, the more I felt torn to pieces. It was very extreme for me to transform from a Tel Aviv student to a Breslov Chasid from Mea She'arim, and since I couldn't bring myself to do something I wasn't comfortable and whole with, I continued my routine life. In university studies."

From Tel Aviv to Mea She'arim

Oded began his third year of literature studies, when one of the courses he enrolled in was about the poet Chaim Nachman Bialik. "Then something interesting happened," he explains, "I began studying the course and suddenly discovered several concepts of Torah, Kabbalah, and Chassidut present in Bialik's poems. I was amazed to understand that although the poet distanced himself from the Beit Midrash, all his poems were actually filled with Torah. Then, another realization struck me - as a Jew, there is no real way to escape the Torah, it's a part of you. You can be for or against it, but there is nothing else. Incidentally, I see this realization in the struggles that have taken place over the years between different sectors in the country, where the Torah always constituted the central topic - some wanted more Torah and some less, but as Jews, this is the topic that outlines our lives. I realized that as someone intending to be involved with literature, my literature would have no value if I did not know what Judaism is. Thus, things matured within me more and more, and a few months later the decision came calmly and thoughtfully - I leave everything, stop the studies and go study Torah."

Oded mentions that he chose the Breslov Chassidut in Mea She'arim, where he moved between several streams, and later also tasted from other Chassiduts and even connected with the Chabad Chassidut and other movements and rabbis. "I don't categorize myself, nor do I place myself in any drawer. Even in the book editing jobs I did over the years, I worked with very diverse rabbis. I am happy about it and feel a deep connection to each of the sectors of the people of Israel."

When you look back at your return to faith process, is there anything you would have done differently?

"Certainly, if I knew then what I know now, I would have done everything differently. I now understand that my return to faith process was not always right and precise. For instance, there were very important matters in my life that I didn't always dedicate enough thought to as I would have aspired, mainly because in those days I focused mainly on the need and the pressure to observe commandments. I think if I could go back, I would treat myself with a bit more forgiveness and patience. But I had no guidance, and it's safe to say that most Ba'alei Teshuva in my time had no guidance. Those who were clever figured out on their own what was expected of them, but you would have to be very true and brave to work for Hashem. But I regret nothing I experienced. Today I understand that Hashem wanted me to go through everything I went through, including the mistakes."

At the circumcision of his firstborn son

And what about the writing? Did you continue in it even after returning to faith?

"At first, I didn't engage in literature at all, because I didn't think it was relevant. I felt that my life's task was 'to learn to be a Jew,' and I devoted myself solely to Torah study. At some point, I even became a scribe, though in those days I never imagined I would become just a regular writer…"

But about ten years after returning to faith, it happened. "I began to understand that Hashem wants something more comprehensive, inclusive, and true from me, and then I began to gradually return to writing," explains Oded, "initially through poetry, and I even published three books of poetry and a book of interpretations on poetry, and later I moved to prose."

Today, he has four volumes of his famous book 'Returning Light,' which contains true stories of Ba'alei Teshuva gathered over several years. Alongside this, he published many stories of faith in the weekly 'B'Sheva' and in other venues. The stories always dealt with themes of returning to roots and the phenomenon of Teshuva in our generation. These days, he is releasing a new book called 'Moments of Light' - 'Stories from the Pen of a Ba'al Teshuva,' featuring over 120 short stories about simple life moments that illuminate precious insights, full of faith and divine providence, attempting to touch upon the amazing Teshuva phenomenon in Israel.

With his new book

A Bridge Between Communities

Are all the stories in your books true?

"That's a question I often get asked, and the answer is that they are divided into two - the longer stories that appear in 'Returning Light' as well as those published in 'B'Sheva' are as accurate as possible. The whole idea was to present stories that happened in reality and not to showcase my ability to imagine. On the other hand, there are also short stories, like those in my new book being released these days, which range between reality and imagination. There are stories that happened almost completely in reality, and there are others that contain only a spark of a true event, while the rest is imagination. The 'I' speaking in almost all the stories reflects, to a large extent, my own character, but not entirely. Some words were written in the blood of the heart, and some were written in laughter...

"In any case, in my eyes, all the stories, once written, are equally true, because they live and exist in the writings and in the soul of the writer and readers. The role of good imagination is to reach a deeper truth, a sharper idea, which the limited reality cannot always achieve. One could liken it to this: reality composes the imagination toward the idea."

At work at the Gush Katif Museum

And who do you target your books at?

"I don't want to sound pretentious, but I'm really aiming them at every Jew, even people who define themselves as secular, including family members to whom I am very connected. In principle, I did not write the books from a preaching position, which supposedly portrays the observant community as righteous and free of failures, but rather from the understanding that we all struggle, sometimes with a bit of irony about the situation and forgiveness for not being perfect, from the position of 'Oded the struggler' no less than 'Oded the encourager.' But precisely by reflecting the truth, without favoritism, is what in my opinion makes the books win the hearts of readers."

And on a personal level, now after years of Teshuva, do you still sometimes feel like a Ba'al Teshuva?

"Today I outwardly appear as a haredi in a free style. Haredi values are great, without them we wouldn't exist, but you also need to admit that there is in me also the aspect of 'Ba'al Teshuva,' and I am glad for it, because I am convinced that precisely Ba'alei Teshuva have a great role in influencing our generation. Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh, whom I am close to, often claims that 'Ba'alei Teshuva will take over the state,' and he also explains that they have a role in being a bridge linking the two worlds, thereby influencing and even leading. Yet, it is important to add and emphasize that a Ba'al Teshuva is not only in the biographical sense, a secular person who became Torah observant, but any Jew who does a real introspection and strives to improve is essentially a Ba'al Teshuva. May we all merit to truly return in Teshuva."