"The Nurse Asked My Mom: 'Are You Sure You Want to See the Baby?'"

When Shoshi Levin was born 33 years ago, her parents were in for a surprise – a baby with a cleft lip. Back then, doctors did not fully understand the condition and did not know how to inform the new parents about it. So, without saying much, they took the small baby immediately after birth and announced she needed to undergo tests.

"My mom told me years later that she panicked and could not understand what had happened," Shoshi shares, "She kept asking, 'Where is my baby?' Finally, one of the nurses responded: 'Are you sure you want to see her?' That was the first time she presented me – a baby with a slightly startling and unappealing appearance. I guess it definitely surprised my parents who were not prepared for it at all."

However, Shoshi highlights: "My mom is an extraordinary woman, and she told me that from the first time she saw me, she felt no difference between me and other babies. I can attest that as a little girl, my mom treated me just like my brothers and sisters. She made me feel completely normal while ensuring I received all necessary treatments and care."

A Normal Girl with a Cleft Lip

Shoshi worked for years as a kindergarten teacher and still, in her current job, she connects with mothers and teachers. "On many occasions, I emphasize to them the importance of the connection adults have with children and the powerful influence of their words. I also tell them about my mom, who always stood by me and conveyed the message: 'My daughter is completely normal.' When I started first grade, my mom sent me to class one day in a beautiful dress. Later that day, she came to school, stood in front of all the students, and told them she had a very special daughter and explained that they should treat me like any other child. My mom empowered me by telling the girls about the time I visited the Rebbe of Lubavitch and received a dollar and blessing from him. Since I attended a Chabad school, this left a significant impression. Then she announced: 'Here's my beautiful girl!' and I ran to her in my blooming dress with a lovely hairclip. I truly felt like the most special and beautiful child. Think about the impact our words have on our children, especially when spoken from the heart."

When did you start realizing you didn't look like everyone else?

"I think it happened around the age of five, and I have a very vivid memory from that time. Once, when I was at a friend's house playing with plastic beads, a thought came to me – I pushed one of the beads into my nose, looked in the mirror, and felt great joy. I was aware my nose wasn't symmetrical, and felt the bead helped me look like everyone else. These were the thoughts occupying my mind at five, so it must have bothered me slightly."

Surgeries, Treatments, and Faith

Unfortunately, Shoshi did not have long to enjoy with her mother. "When I was nine, my mom passed away," she recounts, "Afterward, we moved to a different city, which also meant changing schools. For the first time, I encountered unpleasant remarks and fingers pointed at me. I repeatedly came home crying after being insulted, it hurt me deeply.

"By the way, a few years ago, a woman who claimed to have attended school with me and was among my chief tormentors, contacted me. She wanted to apologize for what happened and when I asked why now, she burst into tears and confessed that recently, her daughter was born with a cleft lip, and she feels heaven brought this on her because of her actions towards me. Of course, I told her I forgive her wholeheartedly, but inside I trembled. It is clear we must be exceedingly cautious with the respect of our peers and it's important for parents to explain this to their children. We must be as careful as with fire."

But, according to Shoshi, these incidents were temporary since, after a few years, she and her family returned to their previous residence where she once again felt familiar security. "My childhood passed entirely smoothly and without any noticeable trauma," she concludes.

Are there ways to treat a cleft lip?

"Absolutely yes. It's common to treat it with several surgeries. My first surgery was when I was a few months old, and I now know how sensible my parents were. My mom told me that before the surgery, some suggested, 'Don't take risks, pay privately for a doctor.' She also heard of people traveling abroad for such surgeries, but as a woman of faith, she wasn't worried at all, her motto was: 'With every doctor goes an angel.' Ultimately, one of the leading specialists in the country, who usually operates only privately, performed my surgery through the hospital, and I received it for free. Even today, when mothers of children with a cleft lip consult me, I tell them about my mom. I don't interfere with their final choice but want to show them that you don’t always have to pay a fortune for surgery. You can also trust regular doctors and rely on Hashem.

"I had another surgery around age 11, where doctors took bone from my pelvis and implanted it in my mouth to block the cleft. My dad was with me throughout the entire hospitalization and supported me with exceptional dedication. He also traveled with me weekly for orthodontic treatments, which are usually required in cases of a cleft lip, and I wasn't exempt from them either. My dad did everything with optimism and ease, making me feel entirely like an ordinary child. The last surgery in the series was at 18, where, in addition to the surgical team, there was a plastic artist who refined the appearance of my nose and lip. When I opened my eyes in the recovery room, she was already there, happily telling me, 'You look stunning.' I couldn't have asked for more."

Being with the Children

Today, it's hard to believe you'd notice any trace of Shoshi's cleft lip. "It's true I don't have 'painted lips,' but it's tough to notice there was a cleft, and only someone particularly determined and knowledgeable in the field might recognize it," she notes.

Still, she cannot forget her experiences throughout the years. "I'm a volunteer with 'Language of the Heart,' an organization supporting families of children with a cleft lip and palate. I speak to mothers and strengthen them. I've met women who also had similar experiences in their childhood and shared how they were always the rejected and unfortunate children. I also met moms of children with clefts who shared with me the hardships their kids face, yet I was blessed to have such an empowering childhood with healthy-minded and devoted parents who made my difficulty almost insignificant. Understanding this, it was clear to me after I married that I was going to become a kindergarten teacher, as it was important for me to be with children during these crucial moments in their lives and positively influence their young minds.

"Over the years, I left the profession, yet I continue to reach out to children through the stories I share with my subscribers. They receive them via email or WhatsApp, and through a phone line. To date, I've recorded about 100 stories, all stories of the righteous filled with love for the Torah and fear of heaven. Each week, I record two new stories, special for my subscribers, and the children know they can go to sleep 'with Shoshi's story.' It's so essential they hear these stories particularly before bed, as those are the times when all the day's thoughts flood in, and it's crucial for the child to think of good and calming things.

"Each time I stand before a recording, I thank Hashem that I can speak clearly and record myself because these are things not taken for granted. Some with a cleft lip suffer from speech disruptions that continue later in life, but I did not experience this. I pray to be a good messenger and bring peace and joy to the homes of Israel."

To contact Shoshi: zmancipur100@gmail.com