"Doctors Didn't Believe I Would Recover from the Stroke, It's a Miracle"

"It's not a name I invented for the story; it is my original name that I carry since my marriage," says Nina Gamzolotova when I ask her about the unique meaning of her surname. "But ultimately, I am sure that nothing in the world happens by chance; even the surname wasn't given to me just like that," she adds. "Everything is from the heavens; Hashem Himself gave me a gift of life, and eventually, also the gift of body and soul."

Nina's story sends shivers down your spine. When she recounts it now as a healthy and strong woman, it's hard to believe it’s true. You need a vivid imagination to envision the lively and energetic woman being sprawled out like a "sack of potatoes," as she defines it, on the stretcher after a stroke at the age of 35 which paralyzed the entire left side of her body. "Even the doctors didn't believe I would stand up and recover," she notes, her voice catching, "what you see here is a miracle, and only a miracle."

Stroke During Exercise

Nina's story begins during a sporting activity she was performing six and a half years ago. "I was on maternity leave with Gili, my third daughter," she recounts, "Gili was completely dependent on me, breastfeeding fully, and I was trying to 'devour the world' and return to full sporting activity. After a doctor's check-up that confirmed I could resume exercising, I returned to the studio where I have been working out for 17 years. Everything went as usual there, except during the class, I experienced slight pain on the right side of my brain. I stepped aside to drink water, and then within thirty seconds I realized I couldn't move. It turns out that at those moments, I was having a stroke, and that was my body's response."

(Photo: shutterstock)

Were you conscious?

"Yes, I was fully conscious, completely connected to reality. From the first moment, I understood I was not yet transitioning to the next world, but something very bad was happening to me. The other girls in the studio noticed the incident and immediately gathered around me, sure I was experiencing a sugar drop. Even a doctor who happened to be exercising with us did not suspect it was a stroke. The good thing is that the girls quickly called an ambulance."

"Meanwhile," she adds, "I couldn't understand what was happening to me, I was just weeping all the time: 'Take me home to Gili, I need to feed her, the older kids are waiting for me too.'"

And who was actually with the kids at that time?

"My husband was watching over them, and at that exact moment, he texted me not to delay as I usually do, but to come home immediately because his grandmother had passed away. The late grandmother had a prosthesis in her left hand, and exactly at the hour she passed away, my left side was impaired. Is there a connection between the events? It's impossible to know. The ways of Hashem are hidden."

Like a Sack of Potatoes

Nina remembers every detail of the ambulance ride. "I understood my condition was very bad," she recalls, "Throughout the ride, I noticed a hand placed on my lower abdomen and did not understand who was placing it. Only later did I realize it was my left hand. Since it was paralyzed, I didn't feel where it was placed. Throughout the ride, I heard a lot of pressure around and the paramedics shouting constantly: 'Another saturation, another saturation.' I perceived they were talking about me and that I was in life-threatening danger, but for some reason, I was calm. I believed that there is no one besides Him, and only Hashem can save me."

(Photo: shutterstock)

Nina pauses and notes: "My connection to the Creator of the World greatly helped me in those moments. Although I was always traditional, thanks to what I experienced, my faith strengthened manifold. Even during the long process I went through afterward, I felt how faith held me and prevented me from falling. I felt that Hashem was simply testing me, He never left me for a moment, and even in difficult times, He continued to hold."

The panic with which the doctors received Nina at the hospital clarified to her how dangerous her condition was. "They immediately took me to the trauma room and gave me intravenous blood thinners to prevent worsening," she describes, "At this point, my condition stabilized a bit, and from my perspective, I was sure that now everything would be alright. The doctors around me were less optimistic; they kept trying to diagnose what happened and debated whether it was a stroke, which is considered the third cause of death globally and the fifth in Israel. In my case, I confused them greatly, because unlike many cases where people who have a stroke do not speak, I talked, shouted, and even argued. I explained that I was healthy and wanted to go back home to my children, I denied my condition with all my might. This confused the doctors a lot, and they had difficulty diagnosing, especially since at that time, there was no dedicated stroke clinic in every hospital in Israel, which fortunately exists more commonly now."

In the next phase, the doctors made it clear to Nina that she wouldn't be discharged as quickly as she'd like, and she continued to argue. "At that time, I didn't understand what I was heading towards, I only knew I had a three-month-old baby, breastfeeding at home. She was waiting for me and how could we be separated?"

Meanwhile, Nina's husband and mother arrived at the hospital and were horrified. "Mom explained to me later that I looked like a sack of potatoes, the entire left side of my body didn't move, including my face, which was paralyzed with a condition known as 'facial palsy.' Although I could speak, beyond that, I was entirely dependent, unable to do anything on my own."

With Faith and Determination

Soon it became clear to Nina that although her life was saved, to return to full functioning, she had to go through a challenging journey. "In fact, I went through all possible stages," she says, "Initially, I was hospitalized for two weeks at Bellinson, then transferred to rehabilitation at Beit Loewenstein, where I was hospitalized for four months. During that period, at first, I was confined to a wheelchair, then moved with a walker, crutches, and later with one crutch. I went through everything possible, with each stage, the doctors clarified that it was impossible to tell if I could move to the next stage since every body reacts differently."

Weren't you afraid of staying disabled?

"Of course, I was afraid, but I decided to choose life, and I decided not to give up on anything. Rehabilitation demanded tremendous effort from me, as it is work like any other, with a structured system of many treatments, physical work, and sometimes even frustration. But I didn't give up. Even if I fell or failed, I immediately recovered and continued."

"Even in the spiritual sense – I didn’t give up on observing mitzvot, and I even strengthened more than before. One of the greatest challenges was in the mitzvah of family purity, as I was required to get special permission from the hospital, which was only possible after rabbinical approval. Afterward, I went to a mikveh for disabled individuals, but there, too, I couldn’t manage on my own and needed assistance with every action from the attendant. One of the main problems was that I suffered from swallowing difficulties, and when the water entered my mouth – I almost choked. I felt I was truly sacrificing myself for this mitzvah, and when I left the mikveh, I burst into tears of excitement. The attendant cried with me too."

There is a particularly emotional moment that she remembers from the whole process; it was when she lifted her daughter Gili for the first time after four months. "Throughout the entire hospitalization period, Gili was with my mother, and when they visited me in the ward, she sometimes even recoiled from me, from her perspective grandma was the main figure in her life. Even the occupational therapist prepared me that lifting the baby requires very high skill and that I might not reach it soon. But one day it just happened, I came home for a break and simply managed to lift Gili and sit her on me. It was such a chilling and thrilling moment, all at once I felt I was given back this basic ability – to be a mother. Nowadays, I often tell my friends: 'Just be thankful every day that you are mothers and take care of your children, it's entirely not taken for granted.'"

Are there still things you have to give up on?

"Yes, certainly. Unfortunately, I can't run, even after being an outstanding sprinter. Also, in fine motor skills, I need help and can't manage alone, and I also tire very quickly from any activity I perform. I don't have busy days, every task requires prior planning and taking time. But I learned to forgive myself, come to terms with reality, and allow myself to live life at a pace that is right and suitable for me."

A Life of Mission

Even after she was discharged from the hospital, Nina faced challenges. "Until the stroke, I had a steady job as a medical representative in a pharmaceutical company. After the stroke, I couldn't return to my position, but it was clear to me that I had to find an alternative job to feel I have value and a reason to get up in the morning."

Regarding being recognized as disabled with a loss of earning capacity, she didn’t even consider it. "I never saw myself as disabled, I always believed in myself, aspired to progress and walk."

Then, precisely from this understanding, Nina grasped the special place she was in and the great message she had for the world. "Suddenly I understood how much power I can give people with the story I experienced, how I can strengthen them both spiritually and mentally. Since then, I began giving lectures where I tell my life story, under the title: 'Choose, Believe, Walk.' Every time I cry along with the audience, as if it's the first time I'm speaking, I feel again and again the mission and the great privilege."

Additionally, Nina also accompanies stroke victims and their families in a process of coaching for self-realization, after studying coaching at the Adler Institute. "I always tell them again that I can so understand the place they are in, as I was exactly in that state – I had a respectable paycheck, a sophisticated iPad, a team of workers, and friends, and suddenly I was left with nothing, when my biggest dream was to get out of bed. But here, I managed to rise from the pain, help myself, and find my new path in life."

"To my great joy, I manage to support people spiritually as well, to strengthen them and give them the strength to believe that everything is from the heavens and for the best. Just this week, I had the opportunity to give a lecture before kindergarten teachers, and after I finished, a woman from the audience approached me with tear-filled eyes and told me that the city assigned an assistant who had a stroke and is almost non-functional to her kindergarten. She always got angry and complained that she didn't perform all the tasks as required. 'Following your lecture,' she told me, 'I will go to kindergarten tomorrow and hug the assistant, thank her for being with us, because only now do I understand how much she is trying and going above and beyond.'"

Nina concludes her words with great emotion. "This is exactly my mission," she says, "Throughout the entire period after the stroke, I only asked Hashem: 'Why did you do this to me? What's the purpose of it?' Now I already know the answer, and I also pray to Him every day anew: 'Give me the ability to fulfill your mission in the world,' hopefully, I will succeed."