"On a Trip to Italy I Fainted, Then I Learned the Worst News"

Until about five years ago, Eitan Ben Yaakov was a healthy person by all accounts. He worked as a successful pastry chef, and during one vacation, he went on a trip to Italy with his family. Yet, during the trip, something unexpected happened—Eitan felt extremely weak, vomited, and fainted. Tests revealed his blood pressure had reached 200. "Of course, I returned to the country immediately," he recounts, "and here I underwent a series of tests, at the end of which they informed me I had kidney failure. It was a complete surprise, as no one in my family has kidney disease, and until then, I was entirely healthy. I was also relatively young, 47 years old. I couldn't understand where this came from for me."

From the moment the disease was discovered, Eitan had to stop working and be under close medical supervision that included repeated examinations, follow-ups, biopsies, and a particularly strict diet. "I wasn't allowed to consume salt or spices, I had to cook myself a few vegetables in water and eat them without any seasoning. Think about what that means for me as a pastry chef who understands food. Additionally, I wasn't allowed to drink water, only a very limited amount, and I also suffered from great weakness. I had many questions of 'Why is this happening to me?' and 'Why specifically me?' but at the same time, I must say that from the very first moment, I tried to remain optimistic and refused to give up. I explained to myself that this is a kind of test that Hashem is giving me, and it's certainly an atonement for sins. I clung to hope and believed there would be a great miracle."

"I Realized My Life Was in Danger"

A year and a half after Eitan's kidney disease was discovered, doctors informed him that the condition of his kidneys had deteriorated to the point of malfunction, and he would have to start dialysis treatments, forcing him to connect to a dialysis machine to filter his blood three times a week, each time for four hours.

"I don't wish such treatments on anyone from Israel," he says. "You connect to a machine that drains away the little strength you have left, and when you return home, you can hardly speak from weakness. The next day, you regain a little strength, but right after that, you must get back to another treatment, all without knowing when it will end. During those days, I found myself getting very close to the Creator of the universe. I have always been traditional, but this strengthened me especially. I was fortunate to attend classes hosted by Rabbi Zamir Cohen and drew great strength from them. I also went to receive a blessing from Rabbi David Abuhatsira who told me something very powerful: 'Your condition will not be better, but from the place you are in, you'll see that you can bring the redemption closer.' When I asked him what it meant to bring the redemption closer, he replied: 'Your personal redemption and the redemption of others' and also guided me to recite the blessing of Asher Yatzar with intention and to merit others through it. Indeed, I took it upon myself, and it helped me stay optimistic and even spread optimism around me. Although it was not easy at all, because I saw many friends who were in my condition and died during the treatments. They did not survive dialysis. I began to realize the worst of all - although dialysis treatments prolong life and delay the end, once you come to dialysis, the path is one-way, and the only thing that can bring you back to life is a kidney transplant. From that moment, I realized I needed to find a donor before it would be too late."

(Photo: shutterstock)

Eitan joined the national waiting list for donations, and also approached the 'Gift of Life' organization. At some point, he was informed that a donor seemed to have been found for him, but then he had a heart event that halted everything. "The heart event also illustrated how serious my situation was," he says, "because the doctors clarified to me that there is an absolute connection between the heart and the kidneys since our body essentially operates as one system, and it's just a matter of time until one organ affects another."

How did you feel about hearing such pessimistic forecasts?

"I hadn't given up yet. I was fortunate to be cared for by the best professors I know. They were like angels and gave me the best treatment possible. Additionally, my family and friends never left my side, and of course, there were also the prayers and pleas to Hashem. Although I live in Nahariya, I was treated in Jerusalem, and every time I went for tests or follow-ups, I traveled to pray at the Western Wall, I cried and pleaded. I asked Hashem to save my life. To bring an end to the impossible dialysis treatments. Meanwhile, there were a few more reports about donors, but none materialized – one of them got infected with corona and thus couldn't undergo surgery, another donor was found to have a medical issue that prevented her from donating, and yet another donor backed out. Needless to say, the level of disappointment and frustration with each such report was immense. I'm not ashamed to say that with all the great faith and the effort to remain optimistic, there were also moments where I nearly succumbed to despair."

"I Gained a New Brother"

One day, Eitan received a phone call from the transplant coordinator at Hadassah Hospital—a call that changed his life completely. "The transplant coordinator told me: 'Listen, Eitan, I haven't seen something like this. A donor contacted us who seems to be a perfect match for you, and he simply wants to donate. But he has one problem—a weight excess that prevents him from going into surgery. We sent him on a diet, and shortly after he returned and informed us: 'I lost 15 kilograms, what more do I need to do?' When the transplant coordinator told me this, I told her: 'Listen, it's going to happen. I'm certain it will.' She tried to temper my enthusiasm and told me: 'Wait, the road is still long,' but in my heart, I already felt it was going to happen."

From that moment, things progressed rapidly. Eitan didn’t know who the mysterious donor was, but he heard that he had undergone all the necessary tests and the results were excellent. Meanwhile, he also underwent all the tests, and even a date was set for the surgery. "When I learned that the surgery date fell on Jerusalem Day, I felt there was great Divine Providence here. It just had to succeed."

(Photo: shutterstock)

It sounds like you were very optimistic...

"How can you not be optimistic after five years of suffering and not seeing the end, suddenly you're informed that an angel has been found to save you? I also constantly felt great *siyata dishmaya* – my pious grandmother's sister constantly prayed for me, and also Rebbetzin Bar, who heads the 'Gift of Life' organization, told me she prayed for me during candle lighting, I felt surrounded by prayers and good people. It was clear to me that with Hashem's help, it would succeed."

On the eve of the surgery, Eitan was admitted to the hospital with a great sense of excitement. "Before the surgery, the doctors connected me to various tubes and explained they were doing so so they could immediately intervene if the heart collapsed. It illustrated to me how complex my situation was, but I wasn’t afraid, I was really on cloud nine. All the time I prayed, almost begging Hashem that everything would go successfully, and I felt I was in good hands. I knew the surgery I was about to undergo would change my life. Although I hadn’t imagined how much so yet."

At that stage, did you already know who was donating your kidney?

"No, I still didn’t know, and words can't express the level of curiosity I felt. I so wanted to know who this good emissary was who would save my life. And indeed, the day after the surgery, although my whole body ached indescribably and I was full of cuts and stitches, I stood on my feet and started walking around the ward. I felt I needed to show my donor that I appreciate the donation he gave, and that I'm doing everything to strengthen myself. Then the transplant coordinator came to my room and asked if I wanted to meet the donor. Of course, I agreed. She left the room, and after a few moments, returned with the most special Jewish person I’ve met in my life. I looked at him, and immediately burst into uncontrollable tears. He also cried, we hugged and were moved, there was a real electric atmosphere in the air. At some point, his wife and mother also joined the meeting. I felt I was gaining a brother, literally."

Eitan pauses for a moment, then adds in a trembling voice: "On the day I was discharged from the hospital and returned home, I received a phone call from my donor. He told me: 'Listen, Eitan, I don't want you to feel you owe me something, because on the contrary—you're the one who gave me something of yours, and enabled me to fulfill the mitzvah.' Tell me, where do you find such special Jews?"

To Believe and Trust

In these days of Shabbat Bereishit, Eitan is about four months post-surgery, and he notes he feels like someone who’s gone from darkness to great light. "Truly literally," he is emotional, "even though I am required to go for follow-ups once every two weeks, it’s totally worth it, because all the parameters are only improving. Also, physically, I see that my condition is improving. I live on the fourth floor, and during the treatment period, I could hardly climb one stair up to my home, I always had to use the elevator. Now I get up every morning, take a brisk walk to the sea, swim there for a short while, come home, and run up the stairs. I’ve really become a different person.

“In terms of quality of life, there is also a massive improvement—I can drink without any restriction and eat almost anything I like. Recently, I also underwent an echocardiogram, and when I asked if the heart condition was improving, the cardiologist replied: 'Not only improving, your heart is really healthy.' At that point, I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore."

Eitan is confident that soon he will return to work. "I don't want help from National Insurance or allowances, I am completely healthy and can return to work just like before."

He also has a message for others dealing with such illnesses. "You must never despair," he says. "Hashem never abandons us, and even in times when everything seems dark and hopeless, we must continue to believe and trust."