"At My Age? To an Ultra-Orthodox Seminary? With All My Past?!"

**Some details have been changed to prevent identification**

Hila stood at the doorstep of the rabbi's room, on the verge of despair. The old world she wanted to leave was pulling her back with negative, enticing forces, which she felt were stronger than her. For three years she had been trying to end a relationship with a guy who did not treat her well, to say the least.

"I wanted a Torah-based home with all my being, but my life's routine, including the desecration of Shabbat in my parents' home, weakened my thoughts on how to build my home," Hila tells Hidabroot today. "Sometimes thoughts would creep in that, *chas v'shalom*, I was unworthy."

Every Thursday, Hila would come to the advice hour of that precious rabbi, who tried to help her as much as he could. Her week was filled with many doubts, confusions, and uncertainties, with Thursday being the point she often felt out of breath. In most cases, the rabbi's answers were uplifting, giving her a little strength to continue, except that one time when she asked about a suitable religious framework.

"I Broke Down Every Time I Failed"

"For 28 years my soul had thirsted for holiness, and at this age, when I finally realized it, I faced great obstacles that left me weak, really breathless. On one hand, there was a feeling of something new and special starting in my life, but on the other, I had no idea how to take the first steps. Within all this, I wanted to feel a true Jewish Shabbat, to have a daily routine in an atmosphere of holiness. It really broke me when I didn't have it, and even more so every time I failed in various prohibitions," Hila shares about her early journey in the world of *teshuvah* back then.

(Illustration: shutterstock)

Thus, while most of her friends were already married with children, Hila didn't want to impose on their Shabbat visits. Together with the few single friends she had, she tried to gather bits of holiness on Shabbat and throughout the week.

One Thursday, she came again to the rabbi's advising hour, but what he said to her left her speechless. Perhaps the rabbi didn't fully understand her distress?

"How Could I, at Age 28, Go to an Ultra-Orthodox Seminary"?!

"You need an ultra-Orthodox girls' seminary," the rabbi told me. "His words pierced me like a sharp sword, highlighting the stark contrast between me and an ultra-Orthodox girls' seminary. I am sure the rabbi's intentions were for my good, since I had shared my struggles and my need for a religious framework with him, but I felt immense shame. How could I, at 28, go to an ultra-Orthodox seminary? Would anyone there understand my heart? I felt as though I was older than everyone else, different in lifestyle, and with a past weighing on me like a large stone that can't roll off my heart".

Hila returned to her village home, her bus journey filled with questions. She didn't know she had nothing to be ashamed of: she wasn't to blame for being born into a non-observant family. No one told her that in the place where *baalei teshuvah* stand, even perfect tzaddikim do not stand.

She didn't know other girls in her situation. She had only one *baalat teshuvah* friend that she knew, but how much in common could there be between a 42-year-old woman with children and a 28-year-old single woman? How much could the friend truly understand her?

Avoiding Mistakes and Falling into Imaginations and Sadness

"If only I had the guidance of a kind-hearted rebbetzin showing me the way daily. If only I had been in a structured framework with reinforcing Torah lessons that might have prevented me from making mistakes and falling into imaginations and sadness – perhaps I would have settled into the *teshuvah* path more firmly, saving precious time and much heartache. Though the rabbi I attended for advice is great, and many people wait for him during consultation hours, I don’t think 20 years ago there was an awareness to truly understand what a single *baalat teshuvah* was going through, even if there was a willingness to help. In fact, it was impossible to provide me a proper response due to the lack of a framework that would envelop me correctly," Hila concludes.

Thus, alone on her path and without an appropriate framework, Hila spent many years later building her spiritual world in darkness, slowly lighting up inside.

(Photo: shutterstock)

Midreshet Elisheva. For the Torah. Your way

Email rishum6865@gmail.com

WhatsApp messages 050-4712454

"I Was Happy the Girls Wouldn't Go Through a Gloomy and Unclear Path as I Did"

"Thank *Hashem*, I am in a good place today spiritually. I have stability, and I gained a lot from Hidabroot's lectures. Additionally, I am connected to Hidabroot in other ways, knowing the involved people. When I recently heard that Hidabroot established a seminary for girls – I was so excited! I was happy the girls wouldn’t go through a gloomy and unclear path as I did."

Hila shares with excitement about her feelings when she read the first article published about Midreshet Elisheva for strengthening girls under the leadership of Harav Zamir Cohen, sheyichye.

"I am so happy for the girls who strengthen themselves that they have a father and mother like Hidabroot. This didn't exist in my times. Anyone who wants to know more about the world of Judaism and get to know it in depth, and anyone who wants to continue strengthening but doesn’t know where to start can be assured she’s come to the right place. It’s simply returning home when the Father in Heaven is waiting for you with a big embrace."

Lectures by Harav Zamir Cohen and *Rebbetzin*, Rabbi's Wife

*Rebbetzin* Bat-Sheva Cohen, the director of the seminary and wife of Harav Zamir Cohen, tells us about the seminary: "The seminary was opened about seven months ago, and it includes a group of thirty quality girls. Since the seminary's establishment, we've received requests and additional girls, and due to demand, we are currently working on expanding the place, which will open its doors happily to more girls."

Who is the seminary intended for?

"The seminary is intended for girls who want to strengthen in observing Torah and mitzvot and discover the beauty of Jewish life. We target girls coming from homes that do not keep Torah and mitzvot or from religious homes, as mentioned, want to study in an embracing atmosphere to receive significant tools for quality life towards establishing a Jewish home.

"The seminary girls come daily with a desire and an immense thirst to know and learn more about the Creator and the Torah, and after each lesson, they leave amazed by the depth and beauty that exists in the holy Torah," shares *Rebbetzin* Bat-Sheva Cohen about the special atmosphere existing at the seminary.

"There's Love and Joy Among the Girls. Everyone Helps Each Other Spiritually and Physically"

"The seminary was privileged with *siyat d'shmaiya* to be a place where every girl entering feels an uplifting atmosphere and a connection to the place right away. In fact, the seminary is 'a home that's a way of life,' and there's love and joy among the girls. Everyone helps everyone spiritually and physically – simply one big family.

"Additionally, the Shabbatons at the seminary are unique. The wonderful Shabbat atmosphere, throughout which there are lectures by various rabbis and *rebbetzins*. On weeks when Shabbat doesn't occur at the seminary, every girl receives a voice message on Friday from Harav Zamir Cohen with a special message for the girls and seminary families, where the rabbi talks about the power of Shabbat, respecting parents, and other important topics.

"Apart from lectures and lessons on various Jewish topics, faith, and the foundations of the Torah, there are lessons about choosing a partner, relationships, and the Jewish home. A special emphasis is placed on building a balanced and stable perspective according to the guidance of the seminary president, Harav Zamir Cohen. Girls in the matchmaking stage gather weekly for a focused and special course delivered by Rabbi Itamar Inhasazan, an expert on marital peace and the Jewish home, who trains groom instructors, on matchmaking and building a stable and good Jewish home. These lessons are conducted parallel with matchmakers experienced in the field.

Regular Meetings with *Rebbetzin* Elisheva Cohen, *Talitah* Seminary President, and Rabbi Zamir Cohen's Wife, *Shlita*

Additionally, there are halacha lessons by Harav Yaron Ashkenazi, modeled after Hidabroot's known program, 'Halacha Lemaaseh.' The girls ask halachic questions that came up for them during the week, and the rabbi responds with the halacha's explanation and reasons."

Seminary girls are also privileged to meet *Rebbetzin* Elisheva Cohen, the seminary's president and wife of Harav Zamir Cohen, three times a week. In these meetings, the *rebbetzin* provides personal advice and close support tailored for each girl according to her place, with what is good for her and at her pace.

"Weekly, we sit together sharing experiences and impressions from the past week, it’s amazing to hear from each girl how she came with dilemmas and challenges, and how *Hashem's* hand led her to the good place she's in now.

"Bless *Hashem*, due to high demand we are preparing to accommodate additional quality girls to the seminary. I turn to anyone who wants to know more about Judaism and explore it deeply, and to anyone wanting to strengthen but doesn't know where to start. Like everyone, your dream is to build a home in Israel, and you want to know how to do it right: you aspire to live in a place where you can feel the pleasantness of the Torah and mitzvot along with girls like you. Step by step. It is precisely for you that we have established at Hidabroot the Midreshet Elisheva, founded by Harav Zamir Cohen, *Shlita*. The seminary, under the leadership of the *rebbetzin*, wife of Harav Zamir Cohen, *Shlita*, invites you to join and enjoy your Jewish studies".

Midreshet Elisheva. For the Torah. Your way

Email rishum6865@gmail.com

WhatsApp messages 053-3623456