"I Thank Hashem for the Cancer and Heart Attack. I Know Everything Is for the Best"

Chaim Michaelis cannot forget the moment the doctor entered his room and simply announced that he had cancer, even today, almost two decades later.

"I was only 35 years old," he recalls. "I was hospitalized after a long period of inexplicable but intense abdominal and back pain. For four months, I tried acupuncture and various homeopathic methods, hoping they would cure my pain. In hindsight, these were mistakes, as the tumor, an aggressive one, grew during this time. I lost 30 kg, barely ate, and the pain only worsened. I realized it was something serious."

When Chaim was finally hospitalized, he underwent a series of discouraging tests. The highlight was after an imaging test, where the doctor asked him if it was possible that he had only one kidney. The cancer had consumed it. "I am still shaken recalling that moment," says Chaim.

Chaim hospitalized during cancer treatment, 2003

"Have I Completed My Role in the World?"

Despite being warned about cancer throughout his ordeal, the official diagnosis left him in shock. "The doctor said to me: 'My name is Dr. Avivit Neuman from the Oncology Department at Beilinson. If I'm here, you have cancer.' And that's how I found out."

How did you feel at that moment?

"I felt absolute shock. I preferred denial and didn’t want people to think I was a hypochondriac. When the diagnosis came, I understood that my life had changed, and I was facing a serious illness whose outcome I could not foresee. The doctor provided information about the tumor and treatment protocol, but I couldn’t focus."

But the bottom line was relatively encouraging: "The prognosis is overall good," the doctor said before leaving the room. "You have good chances of recovery."

With Rabbi Kanievsky

"But it didn't encourage me," Chaim notes. "Because of my strong faith, I felt Hashem was signaling that perhaps I had completed my mission here."

Chaim began chemotherapy, which was challenging physically and emotionally. "I went for treatments because people pressured me, and my friends in Elkana supported me the entire way by accompanying me to the hospital. Unfortunately, when the first round of treatments ended, my recovery chances decreased."

Chaim pauses before recounting: "The cancer was discovered six months before my father died from bone cancer, a battle that lasted 13 years. From the start, his prognosis was terminal, yet he faced the illness with strength, never deluding himself but rejoicing in every moment. He once explained his secret to me: 'I live each day as it comes without looking a week ahead, striving to make the best of today.'

Unlike his father, who initially hid his illness, Chaim decided not to expend energy on secrecy. "I didn't have time or patience for it," he explains. "Seeing people pray for me at the graves of tzaddikim boosted my spirits immensely. However, some friends struggled with the bad news."

Strengthening Spiritual Connections

What gave you strength during those days?

"It's difficult to say because the pain was intense. I remember visiting friends for Shabbat, only to be bedridden with unbearable pain from improperly taken medication. I just wanted to escape the harsh reality for a while. During that time, my father passed, and I had to sit shiva amidst treatments. It was very challenging."

"But if you ask where the strength comes from, it's life's resilience in us. We often neglect its existence, but it's more powerful than anything. Like during the Holocaust, when starvation and pain didn't stop people in concentration camps. Most didn't run to the fences to end their suffering. The life force that our Creator instills in us is incredible, and you realize it during tough times."

During the illness, Chaim sought blessings and guidance from Israel's great sages. "One day I visited Rabbi Stern of Bnei Brak. A close friend referred me to him. Rabbi Stern told me to strengthen my spiritual connections to heal from cancer."

And did you follow those instructions?

"I didn’t at first, since it seemed overwhelming, especially during that exhausting period. Then one day, the town rabbi came to tell me Rabbi Stern asked why I wasn’t following his guidance. I was shocked and didn’t understand how Rabbi Stern knew. The rabbi suggested I try, and I devised a system—starting with the relatively easy psalms and continuing once in the groove of prayer, managing to complete the book repeatedly. Regarding learning Mishnayot, I connected with Pirkei Avot, which I had learned before and loved. Feeling the prayer and learning fortified me."

Another Week to Live

Chaim often contemplated, "What would I do if I knew I had just one more week to live?" This was not hypothetical as he faced several life-threatening moments. "I realized I wanted to marry and start a family," he admits. Although this has not yet happened, he prays it will.

The illness lasted about a year, followed by months of recovery at home, and eventually, Chaim returned to work, starting anew. "In some ways, coming back to normal life made me fully process what happened. I realized if Hashem kept me alive, I was meant to do good. I resumed leading the Elkana pensioners' kollel, engaging in charitable activities. It's my small way to repay Hashem."

Elkana Kollel with Rabbi Yitzchak Yudeikin, head of the kollel

A decade later, the routine was disrupted again by a heart attack. "It was an ordinary day, but suddenly I felt immense pressure on my chest. I called for help, and rescue teams arrived, diagnosing a heart attack. During the hospital transport, staff tried to comfort me, but I learned later they had feared for my life."

After another hospitalization following a catheterization, Chaim experienced yet again the warmth and support of his community. "I am profoundly grateful to everyone around me. I wouldn’t have survived anything without them and Hashem’s help."

What happened to your faith during those days? How did the experience affect it?

"I always thanked Hashem for being religious, but after my illness, I can't imagine facing such challenges without belief. Faith was the only thing that helped me persevere through the pain, helplessness, and hope for better days."

Some people feel anger towards God during such times...

"Anger?" He ponders for a moment, then explains: "It's all about perspective. I could focus on the pain, hair loss, and tough treatments, or my heart attack and fragile health. But I choose to see the outcome—Hashem helped me recover. I survived, revealing Hashem's love. I prefer seeing life’s goodness and the daily miracles. I’m confident everything ultimately serves a greater good. Inspired, I've even written a book about the miracles I’ve experienced, to encourage others facing similar trials."

With Rabbi Steinman, of blessed memory

Where does your persistent optimism come from?

Chaim insists he's always been optimistic, but his trials have strengthened it. "It's not just optimism about my circumstances, but everything around me. Previously, I'd be furious when terrorist homes weren't demolished. Now, I think, 'No worries, it will soon all be ours, and they’re saving the homes for us.' Even the current government doesn’t concern me much. I believe their misdeeds will awaken Israel to fight for a stronger government, and this will soon happen."

Every night, Chaim makes sure to thank Hashem for at least five good things that happened that day. "I list them all, rarely missing a single day," he emphasizes. "Then, after rising, I sing the following song: 'I thank you, Hashem, for the cancer, the heart attack, for being single, and for having no children.'"

To anyone who thinks this sounds absurd, Chaim assures them he means every word wholeheartedly. "A wise person once told me, 'Anyone who hasn’t faced what I've faced is missing out.' I wouldn’t wish hard experiences on anyone, but there’s truth in this. The challenges taught me so much, and it’s difficult to imagine my life without them."

To contact Chaim Michaelis: Chaim.michaelis@gmail.com