"When She Came the Third Time, I Told Her: 'I Hope This Is Your Last Visit Here...'"

The country is in lockdown. You surely remember the feeling. In those days when we all had to find alternative solutions for life as we knew it and adapt to masks and disinfectants, some people opened the roofs of their homes, allowing the Jewish community to continue. We spoke with Nirith Shalom, who, along with her family, established a moving charity in the midst of the first lockdown. They dedicated the roof of their house for couples who didn't want to halt the continuity of the Jewish nation, neither during COVID nor afterward.

What kind of charity do you manage?

"Our charity is a venue charity for meetings. It gives an option for couples who want to meet for matchmaking in the center of the country, in Bnei Brak, while feeling comfortable that the meeting place is on the roof of our house, located in a quiet yet central area. The roof is on the sixth floor, and there's no building around us, so even if the couple decides to stand and look around, no one can see them. The place is very pleasant, with a table and chairs, sofas, plants, and beautiful nighttime lighting. Thus, it offers a solution for couples who want to meet in a private home rather than a crowded public place but don't want to be confined within four walls."

What led you to open a charity like this?

"It was all thanks to COVID, which brought some changes in various aspects of our lives. It began when we provided a solution for couples who wanted to meet during the COVID period, not inside a house or a confined space, but in an open place. However, during those days, there was a lockdown, so they couldn't meet in parks, and they had to wear masks everywhere. Couples meeting for the first time felt uncomfortable about this. So we thought about what we could contribute. Initially, we considered hosting weddings on the roof, but that idea was quickly dismissed after we knew a family that hosted a wedding at their house, and one sick individual infected almost everyone. We realized it wasn't suitable for us. That's when we came up with the idea to offer our rooftop for matchmaking meetings. It came from a desire to offer something of our own for the Jewish people while not getting harmed ourselves."

(Illustrative Photo: shutterstock)

Describe your daily routine surrounding the charity work

"Our charity routine starts with scheduling a meeting appointment. My daughter took on the role of answering phone calls from people, checking the calendar to ensure the date is available, and coordinating the meeting time. During the COVID period, there was a huge demand, and we found ourselves hosting two or three couples a day. We scheduled, for example, one couple from five to half past six, then another from half past six to eight, and then from half past eight to half past ten. Once we set a day and time, we are left to arrange the roof nicely, pleasantly, and cleanly. If there was a couple before, we also needed to reset before the next, change cups and drinks, dust the cushions, sweep, etc. I must mention that we allow meetings only for the first time in our charity. This decision came from experience showing that initially, we gave it to everyone, but then we saw that advanced meetings required us to dedicate the roof for three or four hours. It wasn't convenient for us and didn't allow us to provide for more couples in need. Therefore, we decided that by allowing it only for the first meeting, more people could enjoy it without us being bogged down by lengthy meetings."

What do you love most about your charity?

"I love seeing the couples arriving the most. I'm not always there to meet them, but it's always nice to see the guy arrive, followed by the girl, and wonder if they match, if they'll get along, if they'll end up married... We've already had close to 200 couples meet here, and quite a few resulted in marriage. Some communities have a custom where the girl arrives with her parents, so it's also lovely to meet them.

"Sometimes I meet people I know, which is touching. It's also interesting to see how the couple leaves. Sometimes together, sometimes separately. All this interaction with the couples fills us and gives us the feeling that we are part of the process, even if we're just opening the door and showing them the area to sit. We don't always see them when they leave, but we strive for at least one family member to be around because we noticed they wish to thank us. If we're not there to receive their thanks, they feel something is missing. It's nice to get feedback. Once, a couple even left us chocolate on the table, which was heartwarming."

Tell us about the challenges, what's difficult for you in the charity?

"It's hard to ensure someone is always home during meetings. Especially when there's, for example, a meeting on motzaei Shabbat, and we're out of town on Shabbat, then we have to rush back to organize the roof and receive the couple on time. I don't always remember there is a meeting. My daughter, who took on the coordination of everything, updates us every afternoon if a meeting or meetings are planned for the evening and at what times so that we can prepare accordingly.

"Sometimes it's also hard when we need the roof for our personal use, and then remember we have a meeting and can't use it. Surprisingly, we don't feel disappointed; on the contrary, we live the charity and offer it wholeheartedly. Sometimes a couple needs to arrive, and the roof isn't ready; then everyone quickly pitches in, each doing something – one brings cold water, another sweeps, someone else arranges chairs, etc. It's sometimes stressful, but I believe the most important thing is the smile I'll give to the people, and nothing will happen if they arrive when I'm exactly in the middle of the final preparations.

"Once, don't ask me how, two couples arrived together... we didn't lose our heads and offered an alternative in the form of an additional balcony that we have, which is connected to one of the rooms and is also very nice with complete privacy. We apologized and explained the mistake, and they accepted it very positively and naturally. I think the smile and reception we give people is what matters, not the place itself."

Share a touching story related to your charity

"There are many stories in our charity. For example, when couples arrive and see that the woman isn't in her twenties, and after a week, she meets someone else, and after a month, she comes again, then I tell her: 'I hope this is the last time you're coming here.' In one case, it was truly the last time, and we were delighted when she got engaged. Another thing that moved us was hosting two couples who surely surpassed the age of 65, and it was their second marriage. It touched us to see how even people at their age know how to turn a new page in life, don't give up, come well-dressed and refreshed to establish a home with sanctity and purity. We even saw a couple where the woman came with a wig, so we assumed she was on a 'second round,' and it moved us that not only young couples come to us to meet. We wish everyone to find their match easily and quickly, and our role is to make their beginning pleasant."

In conclusion, what do the words "acts of kindness" mean to you?

"Acts of kindness to me are something that has accompanied us since we were little. We're always told 'do kindness, be compassionate.' Acts of kindness are the help or solution we provide to someone who needs it without expecting anything in return, without thinking they'll reciprocate or give us an act of kindness in return. Just to do someone a favor without expecting anything back. To give someone something they need that I can do for them, to give something of myself without waiting for a reward, that's the essence of true kindness in my eyes."