Recovered from Cancer and Donates Wigs to Sick Women: "The Loss of Hair is Harder than Death"

"Why did I decide to start a wig donation initiative?" Dikla Shotland wonders about the very question I pose to her. "For me, it was so natural and obvious. Judaism teaches us that the greatest thing a person can do is take their personal suffering and prevent it for their friend and the people of Israel. During the time I had cancer, I felt the tremendous pain throughout my body. I underwent surgeries and treatments, but one of the things that hurt me the most was the loss of my hair. Once I realized the extent of the distress, I concluded that I didn't want other women to suffer, and so I decided to take on the initiative of donating wigs."

Dikla is only 31 years old, a mother of three, yet she has already endured quite a lot in her life, having had cancer twice and recovered by the grace of Heaven. "So how can I not thank Hashem?" she asks with emotion. "How can I not try to do my utmost to help sick women and girls?"

The Sky is Falling

"Do you see this big box?" Dikla asks and shows me a large box in which wigs are stored, donated to her by women from all over the globe. "I call it the 'Charity Box', because it's truly a kindness when women donate wigs, and I pass them on to oncology patients or those suffering from other illnesses that cause hair loss."

Dikla caresses the wigs with her hands. Most aren't new; they undergo a lengthy and professional process in her trusted hands before they can be fitted to the women in need of them. It's not easy for her, but she is grateful for it and sees this initiative as the great privilege of her life.

When I try to ask Dikla what led her to think of such a unique initiative, she takes me back several decades. "I grew up in a special family that was always involved in giving and charity. My father – Ezra Alfi, of blessed memory, was a man of many actions, a contractor who built in the Land of Israel and in the holy city. He loved the Land of Israel and the Torah with all his heart; among other things, he was known for his acts of kindness, like rehabilitating prisoners, working on domestic violence issues, and distributing food baskets and charity, all this over 40 years ago, when there was nearly no awareness of these issues."

"My mother, may she live long, a true woman of kindness, is the granddaughter of the famed Rabbi Mula Asher Grigji from Afghan Jewry. Already as children, we learned from our father and mother about the importance of kindness; it was simply instilled in our bones."

When Dikla was 18, her father passed away after suffering from cancer. "It was a severe blow to us all, a real loss," she says. "During the shivah, more than 3,000 people came to console us from around the world, including great rabbis of the generation and many Knesset members, which just illustrated to us how great and special a man my father was."

Dikla tried to continue with life. She married and set up her household, but then, when she was already a mother of two children, the sky fell on her, not as a metaphor.

"I woke up in the morning and simply saw a black screen in front of my eyes," she describes. "At first, I thought perhaps it was low iron or blood pressure. I went to undergo blood tests, and the results were not normal. I was referred to comprehensive tests like bone scanning, chest X-ray, and so forth – and the results were excellent. In the end, the doctor felt my neck and said she sensed a lump there. She sent me for a cervical ultrasound, where regrettably the disease was discovered."

Hair Loss = Loss of Identity

Initially, Dikla tried to treat it naturally. "I wasted a month and a half on a 'therapist' who charged 500 shekels for 20 minutes of conversation where he stared into my eye and claimed he saw 'no cancer.' Then he gave me suspicious drops and recommended eating only vegan. I tried his recommendations for two weeks until my husband forced me to go to Hadassah Ein Kerem, where the professional doctor Prof. Dina Ben Yehuda saved me because the disease had already spread to stage 3. I underwent tough and painful treatments and surgeries; those were days when I was hanging between heaven and earth and didn't know if I would even return home to my husband and children.

"I distinctly remember praying to Hashem with tears: 'You took my father from the disease, and also my aunt. Please, let this disease not claim more victims in our family; I want to be healthy.' I would ask Him over and over to make a deal: 'You will let me continue raising my children, and I will add kindness to the world.' I truly emphasized the importance of kindness because, as I mentioned, it was something I was educated about since childhood, and it was clear to me that this is what Hashem demanded from me here and now."

Did you manage to maintain a regular routine during that period?

"I tried, but it was truly not simple. My husband and I are very active socially, and we've always been the ones to help everyone. Suddenly, we found ourselves dealing with cancer alone. We preferred not to hear other voices from outside because we assumed people would have different opinions about the treatments and the ways to handle the situation. We decided not to invest energy in communicating with the outside world and to focus on one single task – saving me."

During the illness period, and also several years after, when the disease recurred and Dikla fought it again, she noticed something interesting: "During those days, I established a support group for people facing the disease, and I repeatedly heard from women about the immense difficulty of hair loss. I personally also experienced it as a very significant difficulty, and there was no one to stand by my side to alleviate the pain. Recently, I heard such a powerful statement: 'It's okay; hair is from the plant kingdom,' and it even brought a smile to my face. But in the days when my hair fell, there was no one to whisper such things in my ear and strengthen me. I also saw women who felt that losing their hair was also a loss of identity, and that was the hardest part for them."

Harder than the treatments?

"Yes," Dikla surprises, "it's even harder than death," she chills. "Because death is invisible, tumors in most cases are invisible, but a woman standing in front of the mirror in the morning sees herself first and not the X-ray or CT. She sees her face, and if it has swelled from steroids or slimmed down a lot due to treatments – that's what's visible, and if her hair has fallen out – she feels a loss of identity."

Only Good News

This difficult understanding is what led Dikla to take action, and she decided to establish a special initiative for donating wigs to sick people.

"Immediately after recovering from cancer, I signed up to study wig-making," she recalls, "and that's how I started dealing with the production and design of wigs. I also opened a salon dedicated to sewing and designing wigs called 'Charlotte Couture and Wigs.' I had already acquired the profession in the past, so I quickly immersed myself in it. Additionally, I personally donated about 100 wigs to sick women. I didn't talk about it much, yet a few women and family members in my vicinity heard about it and decided they wanted to donate too. They passed their wigs to me, and I refurbished them and donated them to sick women and girls. What gave me the greatest satisfaction was the fact that I managed to fit each one with a wig really nicely, which is one of the most important things in such situations. A woman shouldn't settle for a wig that doesn't flatter her but receive what suits her best.

"For instance," she remembers, "a 19-year-old girl from the oncology department at Hadassah came to me. She had amazing chestnut highlights in her hair, and they prepared her for the fact that with the commencement of treatments, all her hair would fall out. She told me she always goes with a braid, and it's important for her to find a wig she can braid like she always does. I looked at her and couldn't believe my eyes; just a day earlier, a woman from the USA came to me and donated a wig exactly the same color and length as her hair, right down to the shades. It was a hand-sewn wig, with a net that allows making a back-French braid, without anyone noticing it's a wig. After I matched the wig to her, I cut a little of her natural hair and blended it into the front part of the wig. It was so touching."

"In another case," she recalls, "I reached my wig salon and from afar noticed a woman leaning on the salon door, looking homeless. I approached her and asked how I could help her. Only when I got closer did I realize it was a girl who spoke with me the day before about donating a wig. She was a beautiful girl, but she wore a synthetic, short, and curly wig. She had no hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes, and it made her look so broken and miserable. No wonder I thought she was homeless.

"Of course, I immediately brought her into the salon, fitted her with a beautiful natural hair wig, and in an instant, she looked gorgeous and regal. She was so moved and told me, 'I feel like a queen.'"

Isn't it hard for you to deal so much with diseases and struggles? Doesn't it bring back the hardships you've experienced?

She sighs. "Of course, it's hard. Every time I meet a sick woman, it brings back memories from the past, but as is commonly said – 'A person who forgets their past cannot succeed in moving forward to the future.' I feel that when I come from my own pain and tell other women – 'Look at me, I went through so many painful things, yet I am here and succeed in acting for other women' – it is, in itself, an extremely important message.

"Additionally, there is also a kind of balance in my work because I deal a lot with brides who buy wigs from me before their wedding and offer crowns for wedding day hairstyles. Every time, I part from them with a request of 'bring me good news.' It's my way of blessing them and myself – to hear them and rejoice in their happiness."

From Trial to Triumph

Over time, Dikla's wig donation project has developed more and more. "It operates completely separately from the business of wigs that I offer for sale," she explains, "I have a special 'wig box', inside which I place the wigs that are donated to me and fit them for those who need them. There isn't a wig that I don't accept; I use every wig. Sometimes just using a combination of hair is enough to create solutions for thinning hair. Sometimes I pass wigs to salons to fit them for men. I get victims of ringworm or those suffering hair loss for other reasons. They bring medical documents and receive a free wig. I also don't check the spiritual level of each one. Women from all sectors, from all ethnicities, come, and that's what is so moving and beautiful here."

Since Dikla has experienced the disease herself, she often finds herself encouraging the women who come to her. "I always tell them: 'Don't look at me as someone who, thank Hashem, has established a big business, I came from dust, and that's the beauty of the people of Israel – to know how to rise from the dust and stand up again.'"

At the same time, she also works as hard as she can for the rights of people who have recovered. "This is a field, unfortunately, that is not fought for enough," she claims. "And I don't just mean cancer, but also other illnesses. People who recover often suffer from symptoms like chronic fatigue, inability to stand in the sun, the need for fresh air, and more. Unfortunately, they have almost no rights, not even a disabled parking permit or exemption from waiting in line. I'm trying to do a lot for this need."

In addition to the support groups she established, including a group of survivors and a group of patients, Dikla also started an 'Oncology Joy-Bringers' group. "My goal is to refer the appropriate joy-bringers to hospitals so that they go to patients and cheer them up with distributed gifts, books, and games. The donations will go directly to hospitals, to the children. I strive to be as active as possible in the field because I remember the days when I was sick and so desperately wished for someone to understand and help me. I don't want others to experience similar situations. I want to be here for them."

And she also has a message to end with: "Not everyone has to deal with cancer, but each of us has our own trial or struggle. Let's take that trial and do everything we can to turn it into a triumph."

Contact Dikla at: wigsforacause@gmail.com