Parents of 3-Year-Old Who Was Killed: "Hashem allowed us to experience goodness amidst sorrow"

"Everything Hashem does is for the best, and now we have the chance not just to recite this but to truly live it," says Lial Saad, mother of three-and-a-half-year-old Shilah, who was killed on the seventh night of Pesach in a car accident in Kfar Maimon.

"Shilah passed away five minutes after finishing his Torah study on the eve of the seventh day of Pesach, which this year coincided with Shabbat," adds his father, Liron. "I usually take the kids every Friday to study at the synagogue, and afterward, we buy a treat at the grocery store, and that day was no different. We studied together and read a passage that the children chose about laws pertaining to the Holy Temple. We then went to the grocery store in Kfar Maimon and bought a treat. I had already started driving toward home when Shilah asked to play at the playground in the village. I suggested returning home so he could go to the playground nearby, but he insisted on playing on equipment that was new to him. I let him go, and a few minutes later, I arrived from the other side with the car to pick him up, but then I saw people running toward the road and found Shilah lying there."

Liron pauses, and like his wife, emphasizes: "We believe everything Hashem does in the world is for our benefit. The fact that He gave us Shilah for three and a half years is a great privilege, and we are left with only good memories. Shilah was a child full of love. He would always come to me, hug me, and say, 'Dad, I love you.' He knew how to say this from a very young age. Our older children called him 'Teddy,' a nickname for a beloved teddy bear. We all loved him immensely."

The Kindness in Judgement

"Shilah was extremely sweet, captivating," Lial adds, "but ultimately, he was just a child. When I look at what happened, I feel there is a deeper layer here. I believe there is a much broader story because it is clear to me that he was a very special soul that came into the world, and Hashem decided to take him at the right time, to the place he needed to be."

She pauses and then adds thoughtfully: "My personal feeling is that the entire tragedy that befell us was wrapped in a lot of kindness. I can actually enumerate the great kindnesses that happened to us here – first of all, there was the impact on Shilah, which was fatal. According to what we were told, he was killed within a millisecond, did not suffer at all, and his body remained completely intact. The place where the tragedy hit us as a family is also a real kindness, because, due to the holiday, we were all together and could talk to the children and process the events in the right way."

Liron notes that even regarding the burial, there was great help from above: "The accident happened at 2:15 PM, and already by 3:00 PM, we were informed at the hospital that Shilah had passed away. The head of the council and friends were with us, and then they asked us where we wanted him to be buried. The intention was whether in Netivot or elsewhere, but my wife surprised with a request to bury him on the Mount of Olives, a place known for almost not doing burials nowadays, particularly when it concerns the eve of a holiday and a small child. In parallel, we were informed by the police that they were unwilling to release the deceased before conducting an autopsy or at least a head CT scan at Abu Kabir. We naturally objected; the hour became late, and it was no longer clear if we would succeed in preserving the deceased's dignity and bury him before nightfall. Meanwhile, we returned home to be with the children, and then, at 5:15 PM, we suddenly received a phone call informing us that a burial place had been found on the Mount of Olives, near the grave of the Ohr HaChaim and other great saints. The police also unexpectedly lifted the prevention orders delaying the burial, enabling us to bury Shilah before nightfall, in the place we chose and deemed most suitable for him. Indeed, there is great pain, the longing is endless, but we cannot help but see the kindness that Hashem grants us, and we simply thank Him."

You sound so strong... What gives you the strength during such difficult times?

"Only faith," Lial is sure, "Hashem is the only one who gives us strength. I also told this to my students at the seminary and the institutions where I teach. I explained to them that I have always been a pampered person. I grew up in a good family and an excellent home, educated in the best educational frameworks available, was smart, and succeeded in everything I wanted. Moreover, I was blessed to marry a wonderful husband and bring my children into the world easily and precisely when I wanted. My feeling is that now, after so many years in which my husband and I were blessed to see evident goodness, Hashem decided to elevate us a level and let us experience His true goodness even amidst sorrow. He is actually trying to tell us: 'You have the ability, maybe you don't know it, but I will teach you to walk with Me even in challenging times.'"

Lial sighs and adds: "These days, we are in a learning process, trying to learn the new mission. However, it is important for me to emphasize that Hashem hasn't left us to face this alone; He continues to strengthen us constantly. And there is also the people of Israel, who come to comfort and support us tirelessly."

"We sat the children down and told them"

The parents note that one of the greatest supports came from an acquaintance who came to comfort them, after she herself lost two children in car accidents, six years apart. "She told us how, despite the pain and grief, she managed to continue raising a beautiful and healthy family," Liron details. "It was fascinating to hear from her that despite all the difficulty, she understands that Hashem is the only one who runs the world and assigns each of us roles, and He chose to give her this role. Everything is part of a divine plan, and despite the pain, she decided to face it and move forward. We are also trying to draw this insight at least for the simple reason – we have five more children at home, and we need a lot of strength to succeed in raising them in mental and spiritual health."

How did you really tell the children about what happened?

Lial: "I did it in the most natural and instinctive way. We went out to the yard, I sat them around me on the grass and told them that Hashem gave us a gift for three and a half years – our sweet Shilah. We had a lot of fun with him, but now Hashem decided he needs to go. They asked if he was in heaven and I told them yes, Shilah is with Hashem in heaven and he is happy there. I also added and emphasized that just like Hashem gave us the strength to love Shilah and raise him, He would also give us the strength to part from him."

Lial adds with a choked voice that in the days since, each of her children approached her separately and shared how much they loved Shilah in particular and how they felt they received strength from heaven to say goodbye. "I saw that the simple talk we had, without high explanations or embellishments, was precise and correct for them," she notes.

Her husband wishes to add: "People ask me all the time what they can do for the elevation of Shilah’s soul and how to strengthen. I would like to take this opportunity to ask one thing – Shilah passed away five minutes after studying Torah. He insisted every week on studying with me at the synagogue, and my feeling is that the few minutes we studied together every Friday contributed and greatly empowered both of us. This is a message I would like to convey – let us all strengthen our connection with our children and our joint Torah study, even for a few minutes a week, and let it be for the elevation of Shilah’s soul."