"The Doctor Declared Death, But Then a Friend Came and Punched My Chest"

The moment when the bus Shai Reller and his friends were on veered off the road and rolled into the abyss, plummeting from a height of 25 meters, was the moment Reller's life split in two.

It happened about twenty years ago when Reller was a young man just released from the army and went on a trip to the East, including two months in India and a month in Nepal. "In Nepal, we wanted to travel on a regular passenger bus to the capital, Kathmandu, but after an hour and a half of travel, the driver lost control, and the bus careened into the abyss."

The result, he says, was tragic. "Among the bus passengers, fifteen were killed, and many were injured to varying degrees. With me were friends who traveled with me from Israel, and another Israeli guy and girl we met during the trip. Three of them, fortunately, were only slightly injured, while I was very seriously hurt."

Fortunately, because his friends were not seriously injured, they managed to extract him from the valley to the road. "Because this happened twenty years ago, there were no mobile phones available to contact rescue units, and eventually, we found a vehicle that took us to the hospital. During the trip, I was fully conscious but lost a lot of blood, and my friend resuscitated me mouth-to-mouth. In doing so, he literally saved my life until we reached the hospital."

Poor Statistics

Despite Reller's grave condition, he was alert and experienced every moment of this horrific journey. "I remember we entered a very old hospital," he recounts, "and suddenly I saw only darkness and lost consciousness. My friends told me later they took me into intensive care and, at the doctor's request, left me on the bed and waited outside. After two minutes, the doctor came out and told them he had no choice but to declare death. The friends said they entered the room and saw me lying on the bed, with closed eyes and a blue face, then, as if in a scene from a Hollywood movie, one of the friends stood by me, raising his fist in the air, and forcefully punched my chest. At that moment, I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. It turned out he really saved my life, as all the doctors in the department looked at him in shock, and they joined in the efforts to keep me alive."

"I was defined as critically injured," he adds, "and at that time, the Foreign Ministry was already informed about what had happened, and they contacted my parents to report the injury. My parents, of course, set off for Nepal, accompanied by two doctors from Israel, with the aim of understanding my condition, and mainly stabilizing it, so I could be flown back to Israel for further treatment."

"At that time, I was conscious, and I remember my parents arriving at the hospital, but due to the anesthesia and painkillers, I was very dazed, and because I was connected to a ventilator, I could not speak or communicate. The only way I could convey messages was by blinking, and it was a very challenging experience. Only after three days did they manage to stabilize me a little, and I was flown back to Israel, where I was taken directly from the airport by ambulance to the intensive care unit at Tel Hashomer. There, at the department, my parents received for the first time the severe diagnosis - I am expected to remain paralyzed in my entire body and connected to a ventilator for my whole life, without the ability to speak or communicate with the environment."

What did the doctors base themselves on when they declared such a thing?

"On statistics. They clarified to my parents that statistically, people in a state like mine do not experience improvement or progress, and they remain like that for their entire life."

Did you hear this conversation?

"No, the things were said to them not in my presence, and I owe a lot of gratitude to my parents for not sharing it with me because the fact that I did not know about the harsh predictions personally saved me, because at that stage I was still optimistic and believed wholeheartedly that I would get out of it."

At that time, Reller still couldn't speak due to the ventilator, but after about a month in intensive care, he was transferred to the respiratory rehabilitation department at Tel Hashomer with the aim of weaning him off the ventilator. "The process was long," he recounts, "but after two and a half months, I finally returned to breathing on my own. It was a great relief, and it also allowed me to finally speak in words and not just communicate through blinking."

But even here, his journey through the hospital departments did not end. "In the next stage, they transferred me to the neurological rehabilitation department at Tel Hashomer," he recounts, "with the goal this time being to prepare me for the new life that awaited me and to teach me to live as a disabled person, with all the implications. During those days, I also underwent fixation of the vertebrae in the spine that were broken and, as mentioned, led to the severe injury."

Dreams Come True

Reller defines the rehabilitation period at Tel Hashomer as a "roller coaster," in which he moved between ups and downs, despair and hope, success and failure, and between reality and an uncertain future. "It was a period with many new experiences I never believed I'd have to undergo in life," he says. "Little by little, the realization sank in that something very big and changed had happened in my life."

In total, Reller was hospitalized for a year, and despite the severe injury, he managed to surprise the doctors just by maintaining his speech and remaining alive, as they said there are very few cases where people survive in such states. "But the truth is that it didn't really cheer me up," he notes, "because moment by moment, I understood more and more how limited I was, and it triggered a lot of fears, doubts, and questions about the future. And yes, there was also the most difficult challenge of all, with the feeling that I was becoming a burden on the family. It was so unpleasant for me to realize that my trip abroad stopped everyone's lives. My mother left her job and was with me throughout the day at the hospital, while my father worked shifts to be with me at night, and my sisters barely saw our parents during those days, and I felt it wasn't fair of me – to mess up all their plans like that."

"Nonetheless, I must say that it was actually my family members who gave me the best reasons to get up in the morning. They were always there for me in anything and everything and helped me get through such a difficult period. There were also friends who came to visit and managed to support and encourage."

A year after the severe injury, the unimaginable happened, and Reller was released from the hospital and finally returned home. For those who think this sounds like a dream come true, Reller notes that it was actually one of the hardest chapters. "Because the stay at the hospital was indeed difficult, but also very supportive, as I was constantly surrounded by staff of all kinds, and there were friends who came and visited. I didn't have time to feel alone or fear what awaited me, and suddenly I came home and started to realize that this is my situation, and it's fixed and can't change. At home, I was also exposed to boredom and loneliness, with many fears surfacing."

"As the days at home passed, I understood that now it was all up to me alone – I could decide to lie in bed and moan about my unfortunate fate, but I could also decide that I would rehabilitate myself and move on. Very quickly, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to stay stuck behind, but move forward with what I have, and I decided to devote myself to it with all my strength."

This was not an easy decision, and yet he set out on that path. "I decided at the first stage to fulfill the dream of obtaining a degree, so I enrolled in economics studies and began the first semester. As you can understand, the studies required a lot of writing from me, which I couldn't do, so I learned to study anew, with a tutor who would write all the exercises and calculations I dictated to her on paper. The studies were very challenging, but despite initially estimating they would take six years, I managed to complete the degree in just four years, then continued to a master's degree which lasted another two years, again graduating with honors in Business Administration."

Photo: Eran Hen

Make Lemonade

With two degrees in hand, Reller set out to fulfill other dreams, finding an interesting job as an analyst and working extensively in calculations and the economic field. "With this success, I also had the strength to dream further, and this time the dream was the most complex of all – I wanted to get married and start a family. For a long time, I met women, some disabled and some not, and among both groups, there were many where I quickly realized my physical situation didn't suit them."

"Until I first met Idith, through a dating site. At first, I didn't tell her about my situation, but when the exchanges became more advanced and there was talk about meeting, I told her everything. Her response was: 'That sounds intriguing, let's meet.' So I met her for the first time, then again several times, and later we got married. Soon, we are about to celebrate eight years of marriage, and when I remember our wedding, I still get chills to this day."

"We had a special wedding with a ramp, I sat there next to Idith while seeing the huge crowd in front of me that came to celebrate with us, so many friends and family members from various stages of my life, and I felt a real sense of victory because despite what happened, I managed to establish a home, make my parents proud, and fulfill the biggest dream I had."

A year ago, he also fulfilled another especially sweet dream, with the birth of his son Lavie. "The journey to becoming parents wasn't easy for us at all," he clarifies. "We went through five and a half years of complex fertility treatments, including miscarriages and a stillbirth. But here, in the end, we received the greatest gift, and these days we are celebrating the first birthday of our Lavie."

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The challenging journey Reller went through in his life sparked in him the desire to share his story with others, and so, for the past ten years, he has been traveling across the country, delivering lectures where he tells his life story and the many insights he has gained, under the title: "From the Abyss and Back."

"My aspiration is to give strength to anyone who listens to me, wherever they are," he clarifies, "because although most of the people I reach are not dealing with disabilities, I don't think there's anyone who does not go through a trial that limits and bothers them, and my aspiration is to convey the message that my father told me from the first moment: 'Learn to make lemonade.' Because one thing is clear to me: what happened to me did not happen by chance, and even from the hardest situation, you can learn to bring out the good."