12 Years Waiting for Children and 2 Kidney Transplants: "We Wouldn't Give Up This Journey for Anything"

"It was precisely the 12 years of waiting for children and the two kidney transplants we went through that brought us closer to Hashem," say Yehuda and Sarah, a few months after their son's birth. "Beforehand, we minimally observed mitzvot, but the long and winding road led us to a completely different place. We learned to replace our initial sorrow and tears with faith and hope, and over time, we also strengthened our observance of Torah and mitzvot. Looking back, we wouldn’t trade all these challenges, despite their inherent difficulty, because only through this way did we receive the greatest gift - a relationship with Hashem."

A Dead-End Road

Like any couple, Yehuda and Sarah were sure they would expand their family soon after marriage. "But time passed, and we waited, until we realized there was a problem," they say painfully. "Sarah was born with a minor medical issue she managed over the years, but it began affecting her kidneys post-marriage, severely deteriorating their function. This led to a period full of anxious examinations and tests until there was no choice but a kidney transplant from her mother, three years after our wedding, amid the pain of waiting for children and hope that this would end tough times."

During those years awaiting the transplant, the couple's eyes often filled with tears. "We saw other siblings naturally expanding their families, and we wanted that too. Witnessing holidays and family events with young nephews running around was hard, when we had none. Our parents queried gently about progress; despite the love in their eyes, the questions were difficult."

But it turns out the couple faced a longer journey, often seeming like a dead-end road. "Sarah’s body accepted the kidney, but not fully, and after waiting to hear the hoped-for news, we faced disappointment. Doctors announced that due to Sarah’s health, she couldn’t bear a child. This left us with no path to achieving our dream of children."

(Illustration Photo: shutterstock)

How did you feel facing that difficult news?

"It was very hard," Sarah says. "Yehuda was always there, supporting and encouraging me, reinforcing that if this is what’s happening, it’s right, strengthening my faith that it would be alright. We could see how in crisis, Hashem also gives gifts, and our special bond is definitely one. We felt immensely fortunate for the kidney, which is not taken for granted, yet the yearning for our own children remained, along with the pain of that longing."

Never Give Up on the Dream

Yet out of great pain, something new was born. "We began attending encouraging Torah lessons, with the realization that if Hashem leads us on such a journey, it must be for our well-being," they explain. "We discovered new strengths and understood it was time to stop crying and appreciate the good in our lives. While rare tears remained, we never turned to Hashem in anger, only prayer, believing in salvation. Lessons clarified that Hashem can grant children, and we need not envy others. This change influenced family interactions, allowing us to share in their children’s experiences comfortably. If the first four years were tearful, the next eight were joyful, with our outlook sparking a happy and right path."

Throughout, the couple's spiritual journey gained momentum. "Torah lessons uplifted us; from minimal mitzvah observance, we adopted more," says Sarah happily. "Spiritual emptiness filled, and Torah gave us coping tools. We saw solutions in Torah, and that internal work through learning led to a healthy place. We undertook commitments, like studying purity laws and beginning Shabbat earlier, with Hashem's closeness providing purpose to our lives."

Did you consider giving up the dream of children then?

"Never," Sarah insists. "I prayed, telling Hashem He knows how much I have to give and desire children, with deep faith that it would happen. This inner knowing, beyond reason, grew over time, despite appearances of no chance for salvation."

(Illustration Photo: shutterstock)

Yehuda, however, still harbored doubts. "Sarah was entirely optimistic, but I was less so," he admits. "Still, I didn’t let uncertainty take over, striving to grow within reality. Deeply connected to Rav Shalom Arush and Breslov teachings, my faith that there’s no despair in the world strengthened. Rebbe Nathan of Breslov wrote if something’s missing, one hasn’t prayed enough, so we kept praying and progressing with Hashem, feeling growth from the challenge."

Unexpectedly, their awaited salvation emerged from another crisis. "Seven years after Sarah’s transplant, the kidney failed, bringing us back to the daunting wait for another donor," Sarah recalls. "The waiting list was long, and uncertainty loomed about getting one. With the first transplant’s partial success, we didn’t know what to expect. Many questions arose, with hopes and prayers. We turned to Rabbi Yeshayahu Haber, z"l, head of 'Matnat Chaim,' who promised to find me a donor and fulfilled it a year later."

Receiving Life, Giving Life

Enter Zila, the donor who had her own journey before donating her kidney. "Twelve years ago I came to the hospital to deliver my youngest, unaware of the upheaval ahead," she says. "During labor, doctors detected fetal distress, rushing me for surgery, mistakenly severing a major artery, risking my life. My husband, outside, didn’t understand the prolonged procedure, seeing serious staff with blood units, fearing the worst."

(Illustration Photo: shutterstock)

Moreover, during surgery, another grave mistake occurred, accidentally tying off the ureter, risking long-term kidney danger, only rectified last-minute by a senior doctor called urgently. Thus ended 7 intense hours saving my life."

Recovering, the newborn's care slowly distracted from birth trauma. "Years later, reflecting on receiving life as a gift, I felt immense gratitude to Hashem, compelled to contribute somehow, though unsure how at first. Internally, this grew strong."

How did you come to donate a kidney?

"One day, I read a 'Matnat Chaim' brochure with donor stories, deeply moved, realizing that’s what I wanted. Until then, I hadn’t considered kidney donation or known it was possible from living donors. Immediately, I understood I found what my soul sought."

Soon after, Zila met Rabbi Haber z"l. "He initially hesitated about my health; recommending a specialist’s opinion," she recalls. "Convincing the professor of my health didn’t impress him much, nor my husband, who waited for medical clarity. Unyielding, I believed in my ability to donate, unwilling to give up."

To eliminate doubts, Zila requested the full medical evaluation needed for donation. "Every successful test encouraged me through the arduous process, proving my health despite past surgery. Ultimately, all specialists were convinced of my perfect health, paving my donation path. Filled with excitement and joy for what lay ahead."

"The Kidney Failed, and Salvation Came"

Three years ago, the awaited transplant day arrived, dissolving tension in joy. "The surgery fully succeeded, opening the possibility for us to have children," Yehuda and Sarah state. "We couldn’t imagine how such a crisis could lead to great salvation. About two and a half years post-transplant, we lovingly welcomed a firstborn son, praying for more. Naturally, Zila attended the brit, and we maintain close contact."

Zila shares in their immense joy. "The donation split my life distinctly: before and after. The accompanying spiritual uplift is immense, with my health unscathed. Knowing someone thrives because of my kidney is a profound, unmatched feeling. What I didn’t foresee was my donation to Sarah becoming a generational gift, ultimately allowing her children. I only sought to offer a normal life, with her later childbirth closing a circle. Now, I actively volunteer with 'Matnat Chaim,' supporting donors and recipients throughout the complex process."

12 years waiting for children ended in immense light, leaving Yehuda and Sarah with life insights. "Waiting that long, you value it more, realizing it's not given, seeing all as grace and mercy from Hashem," they conclude. "We feel Hashem heard all prayers, witnessing how even a seemingly blocked path can open, affirming a need for unwavering belief."

Contact Zila: zilapas1@gmail.com