Moving to Tears: "We Entered the Covenant at an Old Age, Like Abraham Our Father"

Elijah's chair, a godfather and a mohel, and a tiny baby in a white suit on an embroidered cushion; if these are the things that come to your mind when you hear the words 'circumcision', you probably grew up in a place and society where it is clear that at eight days old, a Jewish baby is brought into Abraham’s covenant.

But there are places where things looked different, and children who joined the Jewish people did not earn this. For years they knew about their Judaism, but only recently did they muster the courage and decided, in an inspiring and admirable manner, to undergo circumcision, despite their not-so-young age.

We set out to talk to these special people, to understand how they manage to make such a significant life decision, and what the feeling is at the moment when you become a complete Jew.

Victor Pavlenko: "It All Started with a Dream"

Av 23, 5780, is a date that Victor Pavlenko (54) will never forget. "This is my second birthday," he says excitedly. "The day I had the privilege to undergo circumcision.

"You can call me ‘the dreamer’," he says in response to the question of what led him to this decision. "For years, I kept dreaming regularly about trying to enter various places, like a train or a car, or a flight of stairs, and again and again my legs would stop and not go through. I would wake up and ask myself why this was happening and what these dreams meant. One night I had another dream, only this time I saw everyone looking at me, as if I was a gentile. I woke up in a panic and felt that I know what they were hinting at – I need to undergo circumcision."

Victor Pavlenko

Victor was born in Ukraine when it was part of the Soviet Union. "Since I was a little boy, I knew I was Jewish, and I also knew my parents didn’t circumcise me. It wasn’t strange or unusual because I knew other Jews around me, and very few were circumcised. In those days, if you had a circumcision – you had no future. We had to act like gentiles".

When he immigrated to Israel in 1993, he was surrounded by friends who made the same aliyah and had undergone circumcision. "I remember asking them how it was, and when I heard from some of them that it was 'painful', I immediately decided that I wasn’t going to do it. I didn’t feel the need and just continued living my life as usual".

However, along with his immigration to Israel, Victor found himself starting to take an interest in Judaism. "When we were in Ukraine, we knew almost nothing. My parents did try to fast on Yom Kippur and also ate matzah on Passover, but I thought matzah was cookies. When we came to Israel, things completely changed. Suddenly I saw whole families walking to the synagogue, saw how people celebrated the holidays and observed Shabbat. All at once, I felt not only close to it but actually part of it. As if the things were already familiar to me for a long time".  

In recent years, Victor went through another process of drawing closer to religion, and as part of this, he also decided he wanted to undergo circumcision. "Because I still had concerns due to the stories I had heard in the past, I tried to find out where it was possible to undergo circumcision with minimal pain, and I was recommended to contact the 'Brit Yosef Yitzchak' organization. That's how I reached Rabbi Alex Asnin, who is responsible for the explanations, and he explained exactly what to expect and what I had to go through. I decided I was going to do it. I was really looking forward to the day when I could undergo the circumcision".

On the day that Victor had the circumcision, he left his workplace early. "I told my friends I was going 'to a circumcision'. A few days later, when I returned to work, I told them for the first time that I was the one who had been circumcised. They were shocked; until that moment, it was clear to them that I was invited to the circumcision as a guest".

Victor also notes that he prepared his boss for the possibility of pain and not being able to work as usual. "In the end, I had no pain at all, nothing whatsoever, but my teammates were very considerate, and since the work I do is physical, they made sure that I didn't have to carry heavy things and didn’t exert myself for a few weeks after the circumcision".

A few days after the circumcision, Victor had another dream. "I saw myself sitting in a cart with horses, surrounded by fire and smoke, and suddenly I felt comfortable and looked at the world with a better outlook. It was such a positive dream, and to this day, in reality too, I feel that my life has changed. I feel more complete with myself and feel that the whole world has become a better place for me."

Arthur Abraham: "Reborn"

It’s hard to talk to Arthur Abraham from Kfar Haruv without being moved. "I was blessed, simply blessed," he says again and again when he talks about the special day he entered into Abraham’s covenant.

"I am 53," he notes, "and when I was born in Kiev, my parents didn’t want to bring me into the covenant. They are Jewish, but circumcision was not accepted in the area where we lived. My father was circumcised as a baby, but when I asked him why he didn’t circumcise me as well, he explained that at the time of my birth, there were almost no families in our area having circumcisions, so they didn’t even think about it".

Almost a year ago, Arthur decided to take action. "I decided I want to be a Jew according to everything written in the Torah, and also to have a circumcision properly," he says. "This was after a long period where I started getting close to Judaism, listening to Torah lessons, and putting on tefillin. I realized that if I really want to be part of the Jewish people, I need to take a step forward, and so I turned to Rabbi Yaron Amit, who heads the 'Brit Yosef Yitzchak' organization. He asked to see various documents, like a birth certificate, and then he approved the circumcision and we set a date.

"There is a custom to say about people of Russian origin that they are cold-tempered; I’m also not a particularly emotional person, but on the day of the circumcision, I was very excited," he admits. "I arrived at the place where the circumcision took place, and with me were a few other people who were invited to undergo circumcision at a later age, but they were younger than me, in their 20s".

Another thing that made him unique was that he also underwent a redemption of the firstborn, as he is a firstborn. "The organization arranged for a priest to be present, they put jewelry on me and handed him coins," he recalls, "There was this feeling that something in me was becoming perfect, here, I did what I was supposed to do. Thank G-d the recovery was also very easy, completely without pain. It was a bonus because I was sure it would be much harder for me".

He pauses for a moment and then adds: "On second thought, it’s only natural that I underwent circumcision. My father always told me that we are relatives of the Rebbe Zusha of Anipoli and of the Baal Shem Tov, so I basically rejoined our ancestors".

Itamar Golani: "I Feel Complete"

Itamar (formerly Igor) Golani was also privileged to undergo a circumcision in the past year, and when he talks about it, his voice is full of satisfaction. "I am thirty-seven years old," he says, "not a small baby anymore, but in recent years I’ve become much stronger, started believing, and came to the conclusion that it’s important to me to undergo circumcision because this is the most basic thing for every Jew".

He was born in Russia, in the city of Orenburg. "In the area where I lived, there was no Jewish community," he explains, "although here and there lived Jews, but there was no organized community. My parents preferred not to circumcise me, not only because they feared the reactions, but also because they didn’t want their son to become a punching bag".

Itamar Golani

Their effort did not really succeed. "I grew up uncircumcised, but nevertheless, I got beaten a lot at school; the kids in the class hit me all the time, emphasizing over and over that they were doing it because I was Jewish".

At home, he didn’t really see signs of Judaism, and even more so – there was, according to him, complete and deliberate avoidance of the religious topic. "I have memories of my grandmother lighting candles and eating matzah, but my parents did not keep anything, there was only an entry in the identity documents and nothing else".

In the early 90s, the topic of religion began to penetrate Russia, and religious studies were added to the school he attended. "I had to sit in class and hear about how the Christians crucified their leader", he recalls. "It's hard to say that this was particularly pleasant for me".

At age 15, he immigrated to Israel with his family. "The funniest thing is that it was precisely at that time that I started studying in a yeshiva, not particularly religious, but definitely with a connection to religion. By then, I understood well the gap between myself and my peers, also knowing that I wasn’t circumcised, but I didn’t feel that I had a problem with it. I didn’t think for a moment about undergoing a circumcision; apparently, the time wasn’t right".

The first time a thought like that crossed his mind was in the army. "I wanted to undergo a circumcision in the army and get an early release because of it, but thank G-d the plan didn’t come to fruition because I don’t think it’s proper to undergo something so sacred when the intentions aren’t pure".

What did change in recent years?

"In recent years, I have experienced several trials, equivalent to slaps. I felt that Heaven was trying to alert and signal me about something. Also, I have to note that I have always been a believer, and the desire to be an inseparable part of the Jewish people was probably there, just waiting for the right moment to break out".

In 2019, he first thought about circumcision and even inquired about it, but at the last minute, it was not possible and the plan was canceled. Last year, he made a clear decision: he would undergo circumcision and was not willing to give it up.

The day the circumcision took place was one of the stormiest days of the winter of 5780. "Do you remember the days of floods when there were floods and roads were blocked? That’s exactly when my circumcision took place," he says. "I lived at that time in Ma'alot and when I wanted to leave for the circumcision, my friends were sure I was crazy. Who travels in that weather? Nevertheless, I didn’t give up. I informed them that I wasn't postponing the circumcision, and the amazing thing was that as soon as I got into the car until I returned – the rains stopped and there was only a light drizzle. I felt that Hashem was embracing me, showing me that my actions are welcome.

"Even my partner joined me, and I’m sure that without her I couldn’t have made this step, she was the one who encouraged me all the time and even bought me tefillin".

Itamar notes that when he entered the clinic, he felt his legs trembling. "I'm a strong person, 1.90 tall and not a coward, but nevertheless I was very scared, and when they moved me from Elijah’s chair to the operating table, I held my godfather’s hand so tightly that I don’t know how he endured it".

However, the fear proved to be baseless. "That day, after the circumcision, I drove myself back. Two days later, I was already going out. I didn’t develop any infections or pain. Even the third day, which is said to be the hardest of all, was fine, if I’m not mistaken, I went shopping at the mall then".

He received his new name – Itamar, immediately after the circumcision. "I was explained that I was essentially like an anonymous person and had to choose a Jewish name, and this is the name I chose", he explains.

But Itamar’s greatest joy is for what came afterward. "I felt how the circumcision affected me, after which I progressed, started to put on tefillin and wear tzitzit and a kippah". He pauses for a moment and then notes a chilling sentence: "My biggest difficulty was putting the kippah on my head, I was ready to undergo circumcision twice over rather than walk around with the kippah".

These days, Itamar is about to marry his partner, and he notes that they plan to keep halachot of purity. "It’s not that I keep all 613 commandments; the road is still long, but I try to do what I can. Recently, I also stopped shaving with a razor and switched to a machine, I also started to observe kashrut, and that’s after I used to eat anything. At the beginning of this week, I started to study Torah lessons and pray three prayers a day; I hope I succeed in continuing to progress and strengthen my faith".

To contact the Brit Yosef Yitzchak organization: brit.mila.770770@gmail.com