Rabbi Panger Reveals: "This Is What Prompted Me to Publish My New Book"

To the growing list of personal development books by Rabbi Yitzchak Panger, a new addition has been made, distinct from its predecessors: 'Success Cocktail'. To understand what makes this new book special, we sought to hear from Rabbi Panger himself about what led him to publish it.

Between one event led by the rabbi and another, Rabbi Panger took some time out of his busy schedule of lectures and workshops to share with Hidabroot readers the 'cocktail' that enables individuals to break through boundaries and achieve the goals set in their lives. "I teach people various methods and tools during the workshops I conduct," he said at the beginning of our conversation, "and the book makes these different tools and methods accessible to the broader public."

Between the Desired and the Actual

What is behind the unconventional name 'Success Cocktail'?

"The name of the book reflects the principle it embodies," Rabbi Panger replies. "The new book is called 'Success Cocktail' because, like a cocktail that combines several drinks together, so does the book - it combines a variety of unique tools and practical methods designed to help a person succeed and advance their personality. "When we prepared the book," notes Rabbi Panger, "we focused on compiling various practical methods intended, uniquely, to bring them all under one cover, with the goal of enabling a person to develop their personality without spending a long time gathering materials from various sources."

"Similar to a cocktail, where each drink is good and tasty on its own, but the combination of several drinks has an amazing effect that brings a different and special taste, so too in the field of practical psychology, when we take a wide and practical range of tools – the resulting effect is far more significant than a book that deals, for example, only with positive self-image," says Rabbi Panger, adding: "Therefore, the book we published contains content that deals both with acquiring a positive self-image and with other topics that will enable a person to progress in other areas, alongside maintaining a high positive value."

Rabbi Panger elaborates, "there are between 10 to 15 different topics in the book, which allow a person to manage their life better and succeed in their endeavors." According to him, "each topic in the book is another part of the individual's success cocktail in their personal life. These are subjects that cannot all be found together in one place, but only after extensive collection of different materials on personal development."

Rabbi Yitzchak Panger's new book 'Success Cocktail'

Share with us one of the ideas in the book?

"In the chapter dealing with self-worth, we examine the reason that some people have high self-worth and others low. As a rule," Rabbi Panger mentions, "a person's self-worth is determined by how they perceive their handling of life's challenges that they encounter day to day, and since no person is without challenges of different kinds, self-worth can be highly volatile.

"In our book, we clarify how self-worth can be strengthened by addressing the reason we previously mentioned: self-worth can be changed through a very important exercise - examining the desired versus the actual. The reason is that if a person assesses themselves by their achievements, it is important for them to evaluate the desired from their perspective - the goal they aim to achieve, versus the actual – what reality allows them to do. If their desired goal is very high and almost unrealistic, their self-worth is likely to be greatly damaged because they cannot achieve their desires. In contrast, if the desired and the actual are similar, the person believes in themselves and feels good about their persona because they fulfill the tasks they set for themselves."

According to Rabbi Panger, there is a clear solution that allows for balance between the desired and the actual: "The answer to such a situation is a change in the individual's internal perception. In other words, a person who believed that they must become a lawyer, because their father was a lawyer and their parents demanded it from them, can change their perception during their life and realize that their profession is actually in the field of technology, where they can thrive, and the fact that they did not become a lawyer is not a failure for them, because that profession does not suit their personality. Therefore, they must understand that they are still talented and have accomplishments even though their parents' dream did not materialize in them."

Jewish Psychology

Rabbi Panger integrates Jewish soul wisdom alongside familiar psychological principles in his lectures and books. In our conversation, he explains that there is no significant difference between the advice in the field of the soul presented in the Torah and those discovered by psychology. "Almost certainly, I have not found anything in the world of psychology that is true and has no parallel in Judaism," he says. Rabbi Panger notes, however, that "the significant difference between what is presented in the holy Torah and psychological techniques is that the Torah discovered these principles many years before the psychologists. Mind experts discovered psychological techniques long after the sages discussed them."

"Nevertheless," Rabbi Panger adds, "whoever seeks to find the principles of psychology solely in the Torah will find it very difficult, because the Torah is vast, and to reach, for example, a solution that the sages provide regarding a person in anxiety, one would have to toil very hard. In contrast, after psychologists found a method to deal with anxieties, it is easier to find the connections of this method already in the words of the sages."

How does the rabbi integrate the sayings of the sages with modern psychology in his book and lectures in the field of soul development?

"We analyze the research and practical part of the world of psychology, alongside the sayings of the sages, which add the spiritual content; the internal, as well as the reasons beyond the need to progress in life, like, for instance, the goal to achieve a better status for oneself and their environment. Combining these two elements is the winning recipe to help people in their everyday lives. That is what I want to convey to people."

At this point, Rabbi Panger wishes to clarify that there are cases where the sayings of the sages differ from professional psychological methods. "It is not very common, but it exists. Clearly, in such a case, psychology has no value, because compared to the Torah, which is absolute truth, psychology is a theory, and by its nature, a theory is constantly upgraded and changes. For example, you can find three different psychologists, each offering a different and even opposite approach on a particular subject. The Torah, on the other hand, does not change and does not need to change, which goes far beyond the psychological techniques of researchers."

"In general, I seek practical tools through which I assist people. For instance, I aim to help a person with low self-esteem. In such a case, I come only to find tools with which I can help others," Rabbi Panger notes and adds, "it can be likened to a bird bringing food to her young. To enable the small chicks to eat the food, the bird grinds it finely in her beak before feeding it to the chicks, who cannot chew on their own. This is the concept I brought in 'Success Cocktail': I collected material from as many sources as possible, creating a product suitable for all levels; both for the religious and those who are not, so everyone can find in the book a resource of strength and inner faith."

Like Rabbi Akiva

How did the rabbi come to the field of personal coaching?

"It came naturally," Rabbi Panger explains. "The subject of personal advancement is broad, fascinating, and relates to the practicality of a person's daily life, so I understood the importance of getting deeply involved in this area. Additionally, I lecture often to diverse audiences, and I see how much the field of personal coaching is gaining popularity, due to its importance and centrality. Thank Hashem, people's thirst for knowledge in the field aligned with my attraction to the subject of psychology and the words of the sages, who often deal with various soul matters, from human distress to the rules of working on one's character."

After clarifying how practical these principles are, have you guided people who participated in workshops or read your personal development books, and whose lives changed as a result?

"Indeed. These materials have significantly changed the lives of many people, both those I personally accompanied and others. Over the years since the psychological method was developed, it has greatly helped people all over the world. During the numerous workshops I delivered, on which the book is based, I received numerous responses from attendees whose lives changed as a result. The actions we perform during the workshops, including guided imagery exercises, integrating sources from the sages, and various psychological methods, have proven over the years to be capable of radically changing the lives of participants."

Finally, what does the rabbi recommend to someone about to read the book?

"People need to know that if they don't try to improve their lives, their lives won't improve. That is, if people don't add knowledge to themselves and don't start working to improve their chances of success and inner personality, there's no reason for their lives to change for the better. The first step toward change is acquiring knowledge, as it's written in the sayings of the sages: 'And you shall know today and place it in your heart.' You need to know first, and only then can it be implemented. This book is a crucial source of knowledge, not attainable through other means, with a collection and wealth of topics, so that someone wishing to break through can make very beneficial use of the book."

Rabbi Panger also addresses the skeptics among the readers, saying that the story of the great sage Rabbi Akiva can be pointed to as a message for them. "As is known," he says, "Rabbi Akiva changed his ways after seeing water carved a hole in a rock. The sages ask: the first drop that fell on the rock did nothing. How then did Rabbi Akiva draw strength from the rock story to take the first step towards the forefront of Israel's greats in all generations? This indicates that if the first drop really made no difference to the rock, then neither would the second drop, nor the third, and so on. It is clear that every drop, including the first drop, helped carve the rock. "I say this to those reading the book, who do not believe in change," Rabbi Panger concludes, "you must know that even just reading the book alone greatly aids the shift in perception and personal development, and even reading one chapter in the book can change an entire world. From my experience, I have seen that even one sentence in a book or said in a lecture can change an entire life."

From Rabbi Yitzchak Panger's new book 'Success Cocktail'. To buy the book, click here.