Miri Moses from London: "My Husband Couldn’t Breathe, I Knew I Was Saying Goodbye"

While Israel talks about returning to normalcy, there are countries experiencing the peak of the coronavirus outbreak. One such country is England, which has even surpassed Italy in headlines; the latter doesn't have a favorable memory. However, unlike Italy where the virus didn’t heavily impact the Jewish community, in England the situation is quite grim. "There isn’t a community here that hasn’t mourned due to the virus," reports Miri Moses from London. "We were dismissive of the instructions because there simply weren't any, and now we lament," she adds with pain.

The Coronavirus Wedding

Moses (42) resides in the Golders Green neighborhood in the Barnet borough of northwest London. The neighborhood has a large Jewish population and is considered the Jewish center of London. Beyond the general struggles faced by everyone, she shares her personal ordeal when she and her entire family contracted COVID-19. It was clear to her that the pandemic was going to, heaven forbid, take a heavy toll on her family. "My husband was at home with the virus, struggling to breathe," she recounts, deeply moved.

Do you know how you contracted the virus?

"Our story began with a wedding on Sunday, March 8," Moses recalls, "long before everyone realized that corona wasn’t a WhatsApp joke. By Wednesday of that week, my husband’s aunt began to feel unwell. We guessed it was corona. She asked to be taken to the hospital, but everyone was afraid of going there due to fears of infection. The next day, one of the cousins volunteered to take her to the hospital. Ten days later, the aunt passed away," Moses recounts with great sorrow.

But the story didn’t end there. "As mentioned, our family celebrated a wedding during that time, and that week it became clear that almost everyone who attended the wedding was infected. The hall where the wedding took place was like a big tent, without windows or ventilation, and those are the results."

According to reports and data from the communities, over 350 Jews in London perished from the virus. This is deeply concerning, especially given that the virus doesn’t seem to be taking a break. For comparison, in Israel, out of about 9 million people, around 240 died. However, within the Jewish community in England, with about 200,000 people, many more have died. Moses says she isn’t very surprised by the statistics, although it’s very sad. "You in Israel probably don’t appreciate the healthcare services you receive enough," she explains.

All Families Infected

Moses continues her difficult tale: "After the wedding we attended, we all got sick. The aunt, unfortunately, passed away, and her son, who came from America, is hospitalized in critical condition. My husband and I, along with our children, all contracted the virus. We isolated ourselves at home, then my husband, Aaron, began to experience severe chest pains and difficulty breathing. I called for an ambulance and requested they come to examine him. They eventually arrived without gloves or masks. I told them: 'Don’t enter unsafely; he has corona.' They asked if he had a positive test, and I said no. Then they asked if he had a fever or a cough, again I said no, but showed them he was barely breathing and also mentioned known exposure to an aunt who was infected. Finally, they reluctantly put on masks and gloves and checked my husband. They decided to take him to the hospital, where he tested positive for corona."

Moses notes that the hospital wanted to admit her husband, but he refused, and thus was discharged with antibiotics. "That’s when the real drama began," she describes, "because since returning home on Thursday, his breathing difficulties worsened significantly, and he simply couldn’t breathe. My brother-in-law quickly brought an oxygen generator. It helped very little, and wasn’t enough. On Saturday night, I called again for an ambulance, stating that my husband’s condition had seriously deteriorated. But after a few hours of waiting, I realized they weren’t coming. Meanwhile, my husband was lying there, unable to breathe, and I felt I was losing him."

What do you do in such a helpless situation?

"Aside from sitting with a Book of Psalms, there’s not much else you can do. Additionally, my children were at home witnessing this terrible scene, so I sent my youngest to her married sister’s house, who also had coronavirus, to stay there during this difficult period. Everyone else in the house was busy pounding on my husband’s chest, which he said relieved the pain a little. We took shifts with the pounding, as it was the only thing left for us to do. Then, after twelve hours, I suddenly heard knocking at the door. I thought I was imagining it; I didn’t understand what it could be. No one was visiting, everyone was closed off and afraid of the coronavirus, so who could it be? When I saw the knocking didn’t stop, I went to open the door, and was truly surprised. At the entrance stood the ambulance team I had called the previous day. In all the drama, time, and frustration, I had forgotten I called them."

The Israelis reading Moses’ words might think she lives in a third-world country, where medical services are very sparse. But no, Moses lives in the heart of a neighborhood considered the Jewish elite of London, and despite all the advancement there, the situation is grim. Moses repeatedly emphasizes: "I'm aware of the media in Israel, and I don’t understand the Israelis' criticism. Your situation is excellent; you value human life and respond immediately to anyone in distress. I can only try to imagine, if someone from Bat Yam called MDA at night, telling them they can’t breathe, and they would only come the next afternoon. The ground under the MDA director would shake. So truly say thank you for the state of your medical services, thanks to which and, with Hashem's help, you have become one of the few countries in the world emerging from this crisis with heads held high."

We Were Close to the End

Returning to the ambulance team that came to you. Did they evacuate your husband?

"Of course, this time too, the medical team came without masks or gloves, even though it was clear my husband was already diagnosed with corona. I explained again that they couldn’t enter the house without the necessary protection. First, to safeguard their health, and secondly - to protect the health of other patients they treat afterwards. They accepted my words and said they would come later, better protected. A few minutes later, they returned with masks and gloves, and something like an apron. Definitely not something that resembles your medical staff's equipment. They examined my husband and said he was in a 7 out of 10 condition - meaning at 10 they die. Thus, if there was any further deterioration, I should call. I asked them what good it would do if you arrived a day after being called. They told me that in a mild deterioration, I should say that my husband wasn’t breathing at all, and they would come immediately. Thank God we didn’t reach that stage, but we were very close."

Moses adds her insight: "To understand the gaps in the reality we found ourselves in - that same Shabbat, I was supposed to host the 'sheva brachot' meal for the couple who married earlier that week. Suddenly, everything was canceled, everyone is sick with corona, and some are in very severe condition, including my husband."

In such a situation, with your husband at home and the medical teams not providing assistance, are there neighbors or family members who can help?

"Absolutely not. Everyone is afraid. When my husband coughed, the whole house shook, as if it were an earthquake. These are terrifying coughs, with hardly functioning lungs. My youngest daughter is still in real trauma. The only help I got was from my sister-in-law, who finished the Book of Psalms every day. Understand, for English Jews to finish the Book of Psalms, it’s much more complex than for Israelis, since we don’t know how to pronounce the words well and it isn’t our language. To finish a whole book sometimes takes ten hours."

Moses tells me they were sure the end was near for her husband, God forbid. "I had no doubt about it, and not just me, the rest of the family too." When I dared to ask her what she did in such a situation, she answers me: "I sat down to write a will."

But what good is it if you're writing a will? You aren't the one in severe condition.

"You probably don’t understand," she gives me the chilling response, "I wasn’t writing his will, but mine. It was clear to everyone my husband wasn’t coming out of this, and by law all his assets would pass to me, but I knew I also had corona, and there was a chance of deterioration on my part, so I wrote my own will."

Miri Moses and her husband

Beyond Moses’ personal struggle, there is also the struggle of the community close to her, which the virus hit very hard. "People we were used to seeing walking on their feet suddenly disappeared in one day. Most were elderly, but they were healthy, capable of living many more years peacefully," Moses laments. "But there are also areas where the situation is worse than ours. In the Stamford Hill neighborhood, also considered a Jewish area, there’s a real catastrophe. There, even young people without pre-existing conditions died. Just last week, a 39-year-old Jewish man passed away, a father of twelve kids. The situation there is really tough," she adds in a choked voice.

I assume you don’t even attend the funerals of your acquaintances.

"You’d be surprised, but we actually do attend funerals. All the funerals here are broadcast on Zoom, and we all attend them, both to pay our last respects to our acquaintances and because we are locked in at home with nothing else to do, and it’s the only thing we can participate in."

The Economy is Collapsing

In a sharp shift, I seek her permission to discuss the employment situation in London, as there too, like in most cities globally, the government has banned business operations. Although it’s late, it’s necessary. Miri Moses is the owner of the well-known brand flowersbymiri, specializing in luxury wedding design. There’s hardly a Londoner who has held a wedding or any event and hasn’t heard of flowersbymiri - and now everything has collapsed.

How are you coping with the economic situation?

"The situation is very difficult. No weddings, no events, no bar mitzvahs, no brits. Nothing. On a regular day, I employ dozens of workers, and when the crisis broke out, they were all sent home. I pay a fortune each month for the business premises' rent, and even now I have to pay it, despite having no income."

Moses adds: "But know that everything is from Heaven. Everyone who is meant to, will receive until the last penny, and those who aren't - won't." She also shares about what happened with her business: "The government in London decided to provide financial aid to all workers and also to the self-employed. One of the government's criteria is a business paying a business tax of up to 51 pounds. Those who meet this criterion receive a discount on the entire payment, and additionally, receive a grant of 25,000 pounds. But as I said, every penny has an address, and I pay a business tax of 52 pounds, which is just 1,500 pounds more than eligibility, so I lost both the discount and the grant. Altogether, it’s a loss of 76,000 pounds, equivalent to about 330,000 shekels. But this is what Hashem wanted, and I accept it with love."

Finally, Aaron Moses, Miri’s husband, politely joins the conversation in typical English manner. "Know that I had unbearable pain. I felt all day as if after running for an hour, not just in my lungs but also in my legs. Hashem saved me. But it also pains me greatly for the days I lay down and didn’t put on tefillin, and for the minyan prayers that stopped. Here, there are no courtyard minyans because there are non-Jewish neighbors, and we don’t want to disturb them. And to Israelis, I want to say, well done on reaching the situation you’re at. You quickly understood the severity of the situation and closed the borders. Here, we still haven’t closed the borders, and that’s why we reached where we are."