Ishi Aharoni: "Less Than a Year After Our Daughter Passed, We Welcomed Twins"

"19th of Adar Alef, after the holy Shabbat, 11:17 PM."

"A few minutes after we finished Havdalah and recited 'Veyiten Lecha.' At this moment, it was my daughter Ruth’s time to close her eyes and go to her place in the Garden of Eden. Our Ruthie returned her soul to her Creator in purity and completeness. We actually saw her soul take flight; one moment she was there, and the next she was gone, for Hashem took her."

With these searing words, soaked in bitter tears of sorrow and grief, Rabbi Ishi Aharoni unlocks his heart, giving a narrow glimpse inside. Into a broken heart, yet embraced and cleaving to the Lord, Creator of all. In a special article "Where You Go," written in memory of his daughter, Ruth A"H, the keen sorrow and strong faith are evident. It is all heartfelt, interwoven with wonderful jewels of consolation and comfort. Rabbi Aharoni describes the sudden moments of passing.

For Rabbi Ishi Aharoni, a scholar who sits and studies in the tent of Torah and has only the four cubits of Halacha, it became an opportunity and a springboard to ascend in levels of faith and trust in Hashem. Words of faith flow from his mouth, and fluent explanations are heard from his heart about the tragedy that befell him.

We speak to him these days, nearly a year after the distressing passing of the daughter, as he holds twins – two sons, after only daughters had been born in the family until now.

(Illustrative photo: shutterstock)

Faith Even Amidst Concealment

"My daughter Ruth was born on the 12th of Nissan, close to Passover Eve, and it was the first year we hosted the Passover Seder at home," he recounts. "We had the privilege and joy of Ruthie being with us on this great night, bringing charm and grace to us all. We named her Ruth, after Ruth the Moabite, and today it is clear to us that like righteous Ruth, who clung to the eternity of life and came to amend something small in the world, our Ruth too was so perfect, arriving only to fix something minimal and after fulfilling her role, returned with a kiss of death."

Were there any signs indicating what was about to happen?

"There were no signs or symptoms in Ruth that pointed to the cause of death. On Friday Eve, she developed a fever and did not feel well. We went to the doctor who found nothing unusual. Thus, without time to prepare or digest, it abruptly struck us."

Can you share a bit about her life until the day she passed?

"From the very start, we saw her unique intelligence. Her eyes always expressed what she thought and desired. Once she grew a bit and grasped those around, she refused to connect with anyone else. Only with us, her father, mother, and sisters, who were tied to her with deep roots and endless love. After she passed, my father remarked during the Shiva, that perhaps because her time with us was short, Ruthie did not want people to get attached to her, devoting all her time to us, her dear parents, and the other children at home. I will mention another remarkable thing: on Wednesday, a few days before she passed, she did not let anyone approach her under any circumstance. In retrospect, we saw this as a mental preparation for leaving the world, to a world of pure goodness."

So, did it happen just like that in an instant?

"Exactly so, in the middle of Havdalah, after letting her smell the spices, we saw how her breathing stopped. We saw it as a merit to be by her side during her passing, without having to hide the occurrence from us even for a single moment.

"After her passing, it took some time after all the examinations to rule out any suspicion of injury or negligence. Since it was concluded she passed from 'crib death,' she was released for burial. In this too, we saw the Hand of Heaven, as good envoys expedited the tests.

"At first, I saw sorrow in the delay of her burial, but my wife pointed out the positive side – our child was not taken from us immediately for burial, granting us time to bid her farewell properly. We stood by her bed and burst into a storm of tears over the disaster that had struck us," the father recalls those tragic moments. "Afterwards, we had the merit to accompany her from the room where resuscitation occurred to the cooling room, whispering verses of 'Yoshev Beseter' and 'Eishet Chayil.' She was accompanied by a small group of mourners and family in her modest funeral, as was reflected in her behavior in life. Even here, we saw the mercy of Hashem, as the custom in Jerusalem is not to have parents at the funeral or burial of the child at all. The brief funeral cast light and comfort on us, that we had the merit to part from her in dignity."

"I have to admit that the night following the tragedy did not consist of many hours of sleep. There was mainly weeping and eulogy, evoking memories and a lot of longing."

(Illustrative photo: shutterstock)

Gratitude for Every Moment

What were the feelings after her passing?

"Her passing led me to think of just one thought: thank the Creator of the Universe for granting us the privilege to raise such a lofty soul as my daughter’s. A soul that came for such a short time, and we are fortunate to have raised her. I do not know why we were so privileged, but once the privilege came into our hands, we are glad for it. With all the sadness and difficulty in the moments of parting, and the heart-wrenching longing we feel to this day, we thank You, Hashem, our God and God of our ancestors, for the kindness you did with us for the wonderful time she dwelled with us.

"However, there is of course also deep sorrow. I equate it to surgery without anesthesia. You feel everything, experience everything, especially the unbearable burning pain. This is the feeling of losing a child. It is not the feeling of a needle in the flesh, but a knife slicing the heart. The heart bleeds pain, and it is hard to live with it. I feel like a person who has had a limb amputated, constantly feeling its absence. This is how I feel. Always, forever, I will live with the great void and the hole created in my heart."

How did the children handle the difficult news?

"As the parents project, so do the children receive the news," Rabbi Aharoni clarifies firmly. "We conveyed all along that Hashem is the one who navigates our paths, and He alone composes the puzzle of our lives. The fabric of life sometimes needs to contain undesirable elements. But as Jews, we must accept it with true faith, to think and imagine, and not just imagine but truly feel, that we essentially offered a 'Binding of Isaac.' For if our forefather Abraham, who bound his son but did not lose him, received merit for it, surely families that have lost their dear ones, a child – flesh of their flesh, obviously are at a great level of trial, and we must stand in it bravely."

Light From the Darkness

Rabbi Aharoni continues to unfold his doctrine of faith, revealing: "After the passing, we went through a miscarriage and lost the fetus. At the first moment, I said to myself: 'Master of the Universe, don't you owe me something? Didn’t you take a child from us? Don’t you owe me him back?' But after deep thought, I realized this is not true. I understood that He doesn’t owe me anything. It is His right to give and His right to take. Hashem gives and Hashem takes, and the name of Hashem should always be blessed from now and forever."

Less than a year later, and you are holding twins these days. How do you see this, as part of a larger puzzle?

"I feel again the kindness of Hashem, spreading His wings over us, caring and ensuring our happiness. Until today, only daughters were born to me. I did not do any segula or take any step to merit sons, and yet now I have received a double gift: twin sons. The joy overflows, and the heart refuses to believe."

Rabbi Aharoni feels that the coronavirus era has also brought something positive to the world. "In the corona era, people find more time to share in the joy of others. People simply burst into joyful cries from their balconies upon hearing the news of the birth of the sons, and I attribute this directly to the impact of corona. People are less busy, more at home, and share with heart and soul in the joy of another. I could not believe how excited and happy people would be. The phone didn’t stay silent for a moment, and the entire community in which I live, and all my acquaintances who heard about the past tragedy, are now calling to congratulate and bless."

Do you feel you received compensation?

Rabbi Aharoni is horrified: "What compensation? There is no compensation for a child who has passed. Each child is a world unto himself. We bless the good for its own sake. It is not compensation," he stresses firmly. "May it always be," he concludes, "that we merit to both share and receive good tidings, and soon may those who dwell in the dust awaken and sing for joy."