Matchmaking Amidst the Pandemic? Couples Share: "It’s Possible"

Do you have any idea what happens to a very young couple when they find themselves in quarantine immediately after their wedding? What do they do with all the intense "togetherness"? Have you considered what singles looking for matches are doing during the pandemic? How and where do they meet? Is anyone even considering marriage at this point?

We went to take a closer look at the current state of matchmaking and weddings, and we got answers to the most pressing questions about matchmaking during the pandemic. To do this, we met with matchmaker Hagit Ben Porat, engaged couple Or and Moria, who eagerly await their wedding date, and young couple Noga and Efraim, who married just before the pandemic broke out and have been in "marital quarantine" ever since. It was fascinating.

Noga and Efraim

Meeting with Masks and Gloves in Public Parks

Matchmaker Hagit Ben Porat shares that during this period, her phone has been ringing non-stop, and she has more work now than at any other time she can remember.

Do people actually want to meet for matchmaking purposes now? What’s the urgency? How are they even doing it?

Hagit explains the phenomenon: "Imagine that now all the parents see their 'problem' right in front of their eyes — the sons and daughters staying home all day. The parents are frustrated because they think, 'It’s a shame; they could have their own home by now.' Moreover, even the young adults themselves feel this need now more than ever. For example, a young man looking for a quiet corner in a noisy home or a young woman who has now, out of necessity, become a 'housewife' due to the lack of work and studies. Everyone has a lot of free time, the rabbis are at home and available for consultations, the teachers and principals are more relaxed and open to respond, and for many of us matchmakers, this becomes a central job during the pandemic. Every new home established advances the building of the Third Temple, with Hashem’s help."

But how do these meetings take place practically? Where do they meet, in the street? With masks?

Hagit answers: "It’s a bit more complicated now; that's true. Hotels are closed, as are cafes, and public transport is very limited. But still, nothing stops. I was just recently a messenger for another successful match, *baruch Hashem*. The couples held their meetings in parks near their homes. Eventually, it turned out that the young woman had COVID-19, yet thank *Hashem*, the young man did not get infected. After she recovered, they finalized the match over Skype. A bit odd, yes, but very joyous. Another creative couple had a meeting on a couch in a furniture store. Another couple met at my daughter’s house, which she turned into a meeting room. On one hand, the situation isn’t simple, but it seems people are currently more mentally available to proposals, even those they weren’t open to in the past. They understand something we’ve always known—that matchmaking is heavenly ordained, and we only do our part. Now, more than ever, it’s much more tangible. We have a Father in Heaven who did, does, and will do everything. We have no reason to worry at all; we just need to keep praying." Hagit concludes, reminding us all that we now have much more free time to become small 'matchmakers' and try to propose matches for young men and women we know. Every proposal brings them closer to their intended match, even if nothing comes of it in the end.

(Illustration: Shutterstock)

What Will My Wedding Look Like? I Don’t Know, but It Will Happen with Hashem’s Help

Meet Moria and Or, another amazing couple who got engaged through the 'Sheva Brachot' website. They are waiting for their wedding, which is still unclear in terms of how and in what format it will proceed, but it will happen, that’s for certain, with *Hashem’s* help.

Moria tells us about her experience with Sheva Brachot and Hidabroot in general and how she got to know Or — her future husband: "I never thought I’d get engaged at such a young age. I always thought it would happen after I finished my degree, after I had a job, had a driver’s license, and so on. But during the period leading up to my engagement, I constantly wondered what was truly right to do and searched for a great rabbi to ask him about what was weighing on me, to do exactly as he advised. By divine providence, I was given the chance to ask the rabbi I most wanted—Rabbi Zamir Cohen. This happened when I was at a Hidabroot conference and saw the rabbi outside after his lecture, so I asked him what I should really be doing. The rabbi told me that at a young age we are still like 'soft seedlings' that can be shaped, and at an older age, this becomes somewhat harder. I asked if I should start going on dates, and he said 'yes'. I got a bit anxious, but when I heard about Sheva Brachot, also from my sister who was there, I decided to sign up. You’ll be surprised, but less than a week after I signed up, I got a message from Or. Very quickly, we started talking on the phone, then met in person, and within a month we decided to move forward with the wedding."

So you managed to get engaged before the pandemic, but what about now? How are you handling the difficulty of suddenly being apart?

Or and Moria think there couldn’t have been a more perfect timing than precisely when it happened. As Moria puts it: "It didn’t happen at the start of our relationship, or during our meetings, and not before the engagement, thank *Hashem*. It occurred at the most precise time, when our relationship was already strong and stable, and we are on the way to the wedding, *be’ezrat Hashem*. Now each of us stays at home, and of course, we want to meet and see each other. It’s tough, but there’s not much we can do about it. We conduct many video calls, talk on the phone, and wait for the wedding to meet."

And how are you dealing with the uncertainty about whether there will be a wedding hall or not?

Or and Moria think that a "sparkling" event isn’t the main thing. "It’s important, it’s fun, and it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but it’s not the main thing," they explain, noting that what is important is life itself, and all the "show" around it is just nice decoration. For them, the most important thing is to live together later, happily and joyfully, and the way to get there doesn’t really matter whether it’s through a grand wedding or a marriage at the rabbinate. "We know that on our given date, we are getting married, no matter where or how."

And what’s your most ideal dream regarding your wedding?

Moria laughs and recalls what she used to tell herself at a very young age, that it doesn’t matter where she gets married if she feels she has found the right partner. Or wanted to get married in a "worthy" and fancy hall, and they even already booked one, but today it doesn’t matter much to them, as long as they can marry according to the laws of Moses and Israel.

What an amazing couple, no doubt about it. Or and Moria conclude with a smile: "There’s no chance we would have met each other without 'Sheva Brachot'. We highly recommend it to anyone who’s considering. More than ever now, make use of this wonderful platform, now, when you have free time and can calmly evaluate each proposal or candidate, just do it, don’t hesitate."

(Photo: Shutterstock)

A "Honeymoon" in Quarantine

Noga and Efraim are already a married couple who have been in quarantine almost since their wedding. We spoke with them to see how this situation affects the relationship of a particularly young couple and their journey to a happy and strong marital bond.

Noga begins by talking about her path to marriage with her husband Efraim: "I have been a ba’alat teshuva for eight years already. My late father returned to religious practice with me. Back then, he would stay up all night watching Hidabroot lectures; that’s really how he would fall asleep. At the beginning of my journey, I said I didn’t mind if my partner was religious or secular and signed up for various dating sites. Very quickly I realized I couldn’t do that because I started to strengthen my religious observance and was looking for someone more suitable for me. Thanks to the Sheva Brachot website, I took upon myself the observance of no physical contact before marriage. This opened my path forward, and very soon I met my husband, Efraim. We were blessed, thank *Hashem*, to marry in a fully separated Jewish wedding just a month after deciding."

And since the wedding, you’ve been in quarantine. How does that feel for you?

Noga: "We didn’t really plan for a ‘honeymoon’ anyway, and now we have more time to get to know each other. When we hear about couples fighting or getting bored, we don’t relate as much because we take advantage of this ‘together’ time for interesting things. I, who until now considered myself very career-oriented, am in the kitchen almost all day learning about my cooking, something I couldn’t do during regular work times when I’m busy around the clock. It’s true this situation isn’t a normal marital environment, but one has to learn how to make the most of the given situation. Our personal providence is that we are relatively very similar in character, making it easier for us to get along together for long periods. We also acquired Rabbi Zamir Cohen’s books on relationships, we listen to many lectures together, and we understand what's needed to maintain the relationship without losing our minds over the situation."

Do you think in this situation it’s better for people to be alone without a partner, or does togetherness make it easier?

Noga and Efraim believe for them there’s no doubt, and they’re sure they prefer their relationship now rather than staying in this situation alone. After searching for each other for so long, now there’s no one happier than they are, even if it includes quarantine with all its implications.