Shalom Gabay: 'The Doctors Said It Was Terminal, But They Didn't Take Our Joy of Life'

Whatttttt?<\/p>

Me?

Sign a document that limits a life?<\/p>

Of my child?<\/p>

Am I to decide if she should continue living, or Heaven forbid, the opposite?<\/p>

Is there any woman-born human being, made of flesh and blood, who knows or can decide on the lifespan of his young child and determine exactly how long her life will be or how short her days should be? In the universe, there is only one who can allot life to every living creature, "who will live and who will die, who at their end and who not at their end."

The voice of Shalom Gabay, father of the late Shavoosh, breaks as he recalls one of the hardest moments during the time his young daughter was hospitalized in the Schneider oncology ward, when doctors asked him to sign a Do Not Resuscitate order if required. And it wasn't the only difficult moment during the two-year period when the sweet and radiant-faced girl was diagnosed with a severe condition, and her parents accompanied her with endless dedication.<\/p>

"Nothing could have prepared us for becoming parents to a child with cancer," he notes today, a little over two years after her passing, in a special interview marking the release of his book 'And She's Just a Child' – a book that includes strengthening columns and episodes of coping from a time that seems unforgettable.<\/p>

Gabay, as known to the readers of the Hidabroot site, published throughout the last year his columns in the popular section 'Parents in the Oncology Ward', and they were read by many with bated breath. Now, they are available in the stirring and strengthening book.<\/p>

"We Always Believed It Would Be Good"<\/strong><\/h3>

"It was a normal day," R' Shalom reads from the pages of the book, documenting the moment it all began. "A regular afternoon, soaked in the oil of fries and the ketchup of pasta. My wife, Avital, returned from work and told me that her close friend called her today, utterly confused and upset. She barely managed to tell her what happened to her nephew, Shimshon Eliyahu Merringer, a beautiful, tiny, sweet boy, just two years and two months old: they found terrible cancer in his stomach, Heaven spare us, the disease that terrifies everyone, and certainly a mother of children.<\/p>

"I see in Avital's eyes that this news stirs a storm within her, not only because we have a dear child at this age – our Shava Eshter, affectionately known as Shavoosh - <\/strong>but also because our Shavoosh has been 'carrying' stomach aches for several months... But for now, a delicate silence hovers in the air. We don't think or speak. Ostrich effect...<\/p>

<\/p>

"Well, so?" I tell her. Now to worry, because of your friend's nephew? "What is his name? We will pray for him."<\/p>

Avital wasn't as calm as I was, and her friend's nephew's story burned deep inside her. In the next phone call, I heard her inquiring about the details of the stirring discovery.<\/p>

"What did they find?"<\/p>

"Where did they find it?"<\/p>

"How did they find it?"<\/p>

"And it's in the stomach." Stomach... stomach...<\/p>

My wife's mind started working extra hours, beyond the extra hours it already works. On Thursday night, at eleven o'clock, my wife firmly announced to me: "Today in the afternoon the girl had stomach pains. In my opinion, we must urgently take her to the emergency room for an investigation and comprehensive tests."<\/p>

A mother's heart is a mother's heart. My wife is determined and insists on going today, here and now, to the emergency room. Not just to the emergency room, but to go all the way – to the X-ray department, for a chest and abdominal scan.<\/p>

The taxi is already honking downstairs, and Avital, with cute Shavoosh, vanish deep into it and disappear from the house. Since that long, dark night, nothing will be the same again, not similar and not almost..."<\/p>

Everyone who followed your columns on the website saw a lot of optimism throughout. You mention Shavoosh's condition was very difficult, so how was that possible?<\/p>

"Optimism was our game," explains Shalom. "Indeed, the doctors told us from the start that she had cancer, and a few months later they determined it was probably terminal, but they never said they were taking our joy of life. So we decided to take everything in measured proportions and by no means let what 'isn't' destroy what 'is', and there is a lot. Instead of crying over our situation - we simply laughed;<\/span> instead of filling with anxiety - we loaded up on hope;<\/span> instead of feeling uncertainty - we felt the certainty of the Creator. We felt wrapped and loved," he says, "that was exactly our feeling."<\/p>

However, he acknowledges that it was not simple at all. "There was a certain period when we saw so many disasters around us, when little children hospitalized alongside Shavoosh passed away, leaving parents and family members broken with sorrow, and as the ward admitted more and more children in extremely severe conditions. Disaster followed disaster, and it was unbearable. But we always tried to strengthen ourselves and those around us, to continue clinging to faith and not letting go."<\/p>

Shavoosh in a song of faith, in sweetness that should not be missed:<\/strong><\/p>

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תגיות:cancer

Michal Arieli?