Eva Pesach: From Opera Student in Moscow to a Yeshiva Wife in Israel

From the Caucasus to Israel and back to Moscow - this is only part of Eva Pesach's journey through life. A journey that involved not only moving locations but also a deep search for identity and Judaism.

"I was born into a traditional family in the Caucasus," she recounts, "like all Caucasian Jews, my parents had some ties to Judaism. They observed some mitzvot like separating meat and dairy and marking holidays in some way, but they did not keep Shabbat and did not strictly observe kashrut or prayer routines. One must understand that this was after seventy years of no Jewish presence, so they were simply disconnected."

Eva describes herself as always feeling spiritually connected to Hashem. "It didn’t always manifest outwardly, but from age four, I remember myself speaking to Hashem. It always intrigued me."

(Photo: shutterstock)

Returning to Faith Gradually

As a small child, Eva immigrated to Israel with her family, living in Hadera for several years. "My father wasn't religious," she says, "but it was important to him to send us to religious schools because he believed they offered a good education. I think deep down he always knew it was the right Jewish path, and even today, he aspires and believes, although he’s still searching for the spiritual strength."

Later, they moved to Moscow, where Eva attended the 'Etz Chaim' Jewish school of Rabbi Pinchas Goldschmidt, the rabbi of Moscow's Jewish community. A few years after the move, her older sister underwent a transformation. "My sister Golda decided to return to faith, and she did it all at once," Eva describes, "She was a strong woman, even as a teen. At just fifteen, she quickly abandoned immodest clothing, fully observed Shabbat and adhered to every mitzvah. She had support, as our school had many observant teachers who guided her. I’m five years younger, and at that time I would tease and comment on her endeavors, but deep in my heart, I admired her greatly. Soon after, my older brother followed suit and returned to faith. After graduating in Moscow, he went to study in a yeshiva in Berlin. Today, my brother lives in Moscow, married with a child, and my sister is married, living in Los Angeles with three children, all living lives of sanctity and purity."

Eva also walked the path of her siblings and achieved complete repentance, although her journey was more dramatic and prolonged. Perhaps this is due to her inherent talent and love from a young age for the stage, involving music, singing, dance, and acting. "I developed these skills consistently and thoroughly," she shares, "Initially through the school framework, but soon participating in external shows. At age eleven, I started studying at a music school and did very well, and by thirteen, I was learning classical singing, on my way to becoming an opera singer."

(Photo: shutterstock)

In parallel, she continued studying at the Jewish school, gradually strengthening her observance, adding more practices and mitzvot over time. "This led to my decision at age fourteen to eat only kosher meat. Though I didn’t fully grasp what it entailed, I tried hard. Eventually, I began observing general kosher rules, sometimes experiencing hunger for hours due to the lack of kosher food availability in Moscow. My religious strengthening was very gradual, and only around the age of twenty did I fully adhere to all requirements. Looking back, I appreciate that my return to faith was so gradual and slow. It was the right and balanced way for me, and only because of it am I standing so firmly today, confident and content with what I'm doing. I believe this path was perfectly suited for me, despite the trials and emotional challenges I faced during those "in-between" years."

The Aspiration: Opera Singer

Meanwhile, Eva continued throughout the years to develop her singing hobby into a profession. "I received a lot of feedback," she says, "Friends would tell me: 'When you become famous, don't forget us,' or: 'You'll make it to Eurovision,' and similar comments. I believed in my capabilities, and after beginning opera singing, I progressed to competitions and significant performances, mostly held on Saturdays. All my music teachers were non-Jews who conveyed their perspectives on music, career, and fame, which were shocking and appalling. They would say things like: 'You need to be a tiger,' and often focused on appearance, advising, for instance: 'If you want to succeed, you must diet,' and other such phrasing. One day, at a music academy audition, the judges complimented my singing but mocked my clothing and hairstyle, explaining that without conforming to their standards, I wouldn’t survive in the stage world. Despite not being modest then, it shocked me. I felt something was wrong and unsuitable, yet the love for singing kept me going."

Eva highlights that at that time, her significant challenge was feeling connected to two worlds pulling her in different directions. One direction was the music and singing world, promising her professional future, while the other was the Torah and Judaism world. "I connected with both worlds and loved each," she explains, "I attended professional courses, succeeding, while simultaneously being regarded at the Jewish school as a 'big rebbetzin.' Although I observed almost nothing, I was very spiritual, recited a lot of psalms, wore skirts, and generally adhered to whatever could bring me closer to Judaism, as long as it wasn’t too complex or demanding. The main issue arose when the two worlds conflicted, such as having a performance on Shabbat or a competition on the first day of Passover. In such situations, I felt torn. These feelings intensified over time, creating a stronger dynamic between these pulls."

Towards the end of her Jewish high school studies, Rabbi Devorie Mandel of Moscow's leading community approached Eva encouraging her. "She told me I was such a high soul capable of absorbing Torah, so she suggested I go to Israel for a year to study at a seminary or college. She emphasized it wouldn’t contradict my musical progress, as I could always pursue a kosher degree in Israel. She said these things with genuine belief in my abilities, but at that stage, I was blind. I felt immense love for Hashem but couldn’t leave my singing career. I wanted to be an opera singer—that was my only plan."

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"Sticking to the Truth Until the End"

"I stayed in Moscow," Eva continues her story, "I tried to get into several advanced study programs, but everywhere they explained if I didn't dress as they recommended, I wouldn’t succeed. One teacher wanted to help, explaining: 'If you don’t dress that way, it shows you lack confidence and are ashamed of yourself.' I refused to compromise on clothing, yet I was accepted and started studying at the academy. Concurrently, I remained active in the Jewish community, becoming a senior volunteer. I organized programs and lectures for Shabbat, putting in great efforts despite not observing Shabbat myself."

"Once, after praying Kabbalat Shabbat at the central synagogue, I planned to travel home as usual, when a good friend from the community remarked: 'You organize Shabbats and try bringing people closer while you don’t observe anything?' It was a valid point. This realization so deeply shook me that I plunged into profound emotional turmoil, knowing internally what was right and good for me but struggling to find the strength for change. Time passed until I managed, with Hashem’s help, to keep several consecutive Shabbats, and since then, thank God, I’ve never stopped."

How do you make such a change?

"Slowly, consistently, with tears and prayers," Eva expresses. "I had a direct connection with the Creator, and one day I found myself at a strengthening seminar in Jerusalem. I cried intensely at the Western Wall, pleading, wanting to come closer and find the right path, but I didn’t know how. Gradually, I began observing Shabbat and keeping kosher, yet continued my music studies and stage performances. My vision by then had shifted. I told myself: 'I’ll be a religious singer,' but never thought it should stop me from performing in front of men. To me, that sounded odd."

Then her older sister stepped in. "My sister was already married, managing a fully Orthodox home. She told me: 'You can choose any path you want, but when you choose something, you must follow through to the end, and sacrifice for it.' Her words resonated, and I knew she was right. I was clear about the path I wanted to adhere to. I continued strengthening each day and suddenly felt something amazing happening—Hashem was doing the work for me and pulling me towards Him. After some time, I returned to Israel again, planning to study for two weeks at Neve Yerushalayim Seminary, strengthen and return. Unexpectedly, during my time there, I didn’t want to return to Moscow, lacking the strength to continue the struggle between singing and Torah. The planned two weeks in Neve Yerushalayim turned into two months. When leaving, I was a completely different girl. I knew I wouldn’t continue my life as before; my strengthening was substantial, and the rabbinic guides began discussing suitable shidduchim for me—though they said the match should originate from Israel, not Moscow."

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A Kiss from Hashem

Meanwhile, Eva returned from the seminary to Moscow, entering her final academy year, nearing an opera singer degree. Despite nearing the finish line, the decision was clear. "I knew I wouldn’t compromise my voice and sing before men. I insisted and clarified it to my teachers, despite it causing considerable embarrassment. I preferred being humiliated over doing anything against Hashem’s will."

Shortly after, she received what she calls a "kiss from Hashem." "I was asked to perform in Moscow for a group of 500 women during a global challah baking event. It was a female-only performance, and I felt it was a reinforcement from Hashem, showing me I can continue using my talents, but in purity and permissible ways. Two months later, I was asked to produce a massive solo performance for women. This, too, strengthened me, making me feel Hashem appreciates every small step we take to come closer to Him."

During that period, rabbinic figures accompanying her journey pressured her about marriage. "Perhaps they feared I’d stray from my 'new level,'" she notes. "So, I did my effort and decided to visit Israel to 'recharge.' That exact week, I received three match proposals, and the third person I met became my husband. He was a student at Rabbi Zamir Cohen’s yeshiva, strong in Torah, and was clear about wanting to be a kollel student. In contrast, I didn’t know back then what 'kollel' meant and was unaware of kosher phones or the importance of covering legs with stockings. Nevertheless, something in me strongly conveyed the desire for establishing a Jewish life, and within six days, we were engaged."

"Blessed is Hashem, we established a Jewish home," Eva concludes her story with emotion. "We have been happily married for four years, thanking Hashem daily for the great mercies granted to us. Professionally, I received my academy diploma in Moscow, despite refusing any exams before men. The academy unusually agreed only women would examine me, and today I perform in Israel for women only. Besides performances, creating songs, and producing unique women’s music evenings, I teach vocal development and lecture in the new music track at the Jerusalem seminary and other places. Recently, with divine aid, I founded 'From Voice to Heart,' a center teaching professional singing through a method connecting voice, body, and soul. The aim is to provide empowering therapy linking the body to the spirit, helping students connect internally and, of course, to the Creator."

"The more time I spend in the Jewish world, the more I realize that my place is solely within it," Eva says emotionally, "and I also understand something else—that the musical world is so close to the world of repentance. One just has to want to see it and believe."

For inquiries with Eva: eva.akivaeva@gmail.com