From Indian Villages to a Separate Wedding: "I Felt Hashem Swooped Me Away"
Michal Belhans lived in Indian villages for years, spoke Hindi, raised her daughter there, and was distant from her family in Israel. What brought her back to Judaism, distanced her from her non-Jewish partner, and exposed her to the world of repentance?
(Photo: shutterstock) Inset: Michal Belhans"I reached the other end of the globe, and it was from there that I was drawn to the truth," says Michal Belhans, a sweet smile playing on her lips. She is meticulously and modestly dressed, raising her six children with great love, managing a large company that deals with superfoods, dietary supplements<\/a> and natural cosmetics. Truthfully, it's hard to believe that just 12 years ago, her life looked so different.<\/p> She grew up in Kiryat Tivon, "in a completely secular home," as she defines it. "I didn't know anything about Judaism," she recounts, with the word 'anything' meaning absolutely nothing. "I didn't even know there was a set time for lighting Shabbat candles... To me, religion was something dark, and religious people were like those dark figures who come to nature, leave lots of disposable items, shout, and then leave—that's what I thought. It seemed so uninteresting that I never considered asking or getting closer."<\/p> <\/p> Throughout her childhood, Michal was a professional dancer. "I performed in Tivon on every possible stage, and later studied in the performing arts program. During my army service, I received the status of 'Outstanding Dancer'—allowing me to continue doing what I excelled at even within the army. At that time, I was eighteen, living in Tel Aviv, and was accepted into a prestigious troupe, where I was the youngest. I danced a lot and performed in Israel and abroad. I really wanted for nothing."<\/p> Later, at around age 22, she set out like many young people for a trip abroad. "For two years, I traveled in Central America and the East, never returning to Israel, not even for a short visit. Unlike Israelis who always look for other Israelis and eat at falafel restaurants, I tried to immerse myself in life abroad, meet new people, and eat the local food. When I was in villages in India, I learned Hindi and mingled with the most remote villagers, even dressing in their clothes. I wanted to be only with them, and where I saw Israelis, I immediately turned away."<\/p> After three years of endless traveling, she bought a ticket back to Israel, but at the last minute decided to continue the journey with a Brazilian guy she met. Around that time, something unexpected happened. "I found out I was pregnant," she says, "It was a big surprise, but it was clear to me that I would keep the pregnancy and not give up. So we stopped the trip and went back to Israel. Honestly, my parents found it hard to accept. They may run an open secular home, but bringing a non-Jewish guy from Brazil? It felt like 'enough is enough,' but I didn't understand how serious it was. I had always been somewhat rebellious and refused to hear about any other way." A few months later, she gave birth to her first daughter at home, as she later did with her other children.<\/p> If Michal's family expected her to settle in Israel with her new daughter, they quickly realized her plans were entirely different. "When the baby was a few months old, we decided to fly with her to India and continue our journey. For over a year, we roamed across India, with me completely unaware of the great issue with the non-Jewish relationship. We immersed ourselves deeply into Indian villages, got very close to one of the gurus, even changing our names to those of his followers. He became our spiritual teacher, we dressed in specific clothes, underwent spiritual initiations, and things of that sort. Later, we continued traveling in India, with me teaching yoga and dance, and him conducting therapy workshops. The baby was with us all the time, as we carried her in a sling everywhere, using cloth diapers that I washed everywhere we went. We spent hours traveling by buses with her sleeping on our laps."<\/p> Years later, Michal met someone who had known them in a Chabad House they visited, and she began to cry with emotion. She said to her, "You were so satisfied with yourself that even I lost hope that you might strengthen yourself and return to the faith. You seemed like a lost cause to me."<\/p> <\/p> At the end of that year, while still in India, Michal began to study the 'Yemima Method'. "It was secular and I didn't connect it to faith, but the lessons intrigued me greatly, and I was engrossed. Here, I remember for the first time the frustration of not being able to explain to the Brazilian guy beside me in English the insights I was gaining from learning in Hebrew. Because the language of the Yemima Method connects so deeply to the consciousness and the soul, there's simply no way to translate it to foreign languages."<\/p> Their daughter was almost two years old at the time, and Michal felt her parents deserved to experience their first grandchild a bit. "I bought tickets to Israel, just for me and the baby, but insisted it be a round-trip ticket so I could return to India in exactly a month. It wasn't simple because the embassy requires a cooling-off period of a few months in Israel, but I told my parents that if there's no return ticket, I wouldn't come. My father pulled some strings and managed to get a special permit."<\/p> How did you feel when you returned to Israel?<\/strong><\/p> "Initially, it was a kind of shock. I remember emails I sent to the Brazilian guy: 'It's so boring here in Israel, and what wonderful and colorful life we have in India...' That's how I felt in the first few days until Hashem decided in His great mercy to make a 'swoop' on me. From that moment, the most turbulent month of my life began. "It's hard for me to recall exactly what happened, but the feeling was like being born anew."<\/p> How did that happen?<\/strong><\/p> "I myself didn't understand what was happening to me; I couldn't even translate it into religion terms, because I didn't know about religion and didn't know what returning to faith was. In my entire extended family, there wasn't a single person who had returned to faith. At that time, I called it 'destiny.' I felt very strongly and clearly from within that I had some destiny here in Israel that I wasn't living, but I needed to live with it. I didn't understand what it was, but I was sure it existed, and I had to find it out. One thing was clear to me—if I didn't live it, my soul would die."<\/p> What made you feel this way?<\/strong><\/p> "I really don't know; maybe it was the learning of Yemima that did something to my soul, or perhaps the birth that actually initiated a natural process of returning to my roots. My feeling is that Hashem simply took me one day with tweezers from one place and put me in another."<\/p> Then the realizations began coming one after another. "The first realization was that I couldn't go back to India now, despite someone waiting for me there asking repeatedly what's happening to me. The second realization was that I wouldn't be able to return in the future either, and the third realization was that I had to speak Hebrew, I could no longer use other languages. I lived like this for several confusing weeks, not understanding what was happening to me. It's not that I chose to return to faith; faith chose me. Although later on, reason was added, and I began to draw closer on my initiative, at that stage, it happened by itself, and I couldn't possibly say no or resist, it was just stronger than me."<\/p> How did the Brazilian guy react?<\/strong><\/p> "He was very anxious and came to Israel. For a month we were under pressure, having conversations after conversations, amidst enormous crying, while I continued to remain strong with the point of 'I have something here that you don't belong to and you're not a part of, and I have to figure it out on my own.' After a month, he flew back to Brazil and left me alone with the child, and then immediately I continued studying Yemima, and simultaneously contacted someone from a Kiruv organization, who began meeting with me and regularly teaching me about Judaism."<\/p> Michal notes that from that moment, everything occurred rapidly. "I am a person who jumps into water before learning to swim, and so it was with the study of Judaism. In just a few weeks, I began to change my style of dress and keep Shabbat, started to understand what prayer<\/a> is and how to keep kosher, and it all happened quickly, very quickly."<\/p> A few months later, she officially informed the Brazilian guy that they were ending the relationship. Subsequently, she began studying at Or HaGanuz and joined a Jewish spirituality yoga program. "I fully returned to faith, and it may sound unbelievable, but within five months, I found myself under the chuppah, marrying in a fully separated wedding."<\/p> <\/p> Since returning to the faith, Michal changed her entire lifestyle. "I was blessed to bring five more children into the world, and meanwhile, felt I had to develop myself as well, so in recent years I founded a business called 'Spirulina for Life' offering a range of superfood products, dietary supplements, and natural cosmetics in an online store, all dedicated to health according to a treatment method integrating the internal and external. I currently live in Kiryat Tivon, and it amuses me how, from the most distant places worldwide where I didn't speak Hebrew at all and was so detached, I chose to return to the very settlement where I grew up. By the way, since returning from India 12 years ago, I've only left the country to visit the tombs of tzaddikim, for prayers."<\/p> What do your parents say about your return to faith?<\/strong><\/p> "After they were sure their grandchildren would be Brazilian and meet them once every few years, the option of returning to faith<\/a> doesn't seem so bad to them..." she laughs, "and seriously—it's not easy for my parents. They accept me with love and see the positive change in me across many areas, but it is still a challenge for them."<\/p> Michal also emphasizes that she feels she is still in the process of progressing. "I know I'm in the right place, living the life a Jew should live, and in this respect, I am calm and at peace. But I feel that beyond that, I have a personal purpose and mission, which I am constantly trying to clarify and refine. It's a life-long mission, and it doesn't stop." Even regarding sharing this personal story, Michal adds that she prays to be a faithful emissary and merit to strengthen others on the path to Hashem.<\/p> To contact Michal Belhans: michal@spirulina.co.il<\/strong><\/em><\/p><\/p>
(Photo: shutterstock)A Childhood of Dance<\/u><\/strong><\/h3>
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"Hashem Made a 'Swoop' on Me"<\/u><\/strong><\/h3>
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(Photo: shutterstock)Strengthening and Being Strengthened<\/u><\/strong><\/h3>
