Moshe Sharon: 'I Was the Most Anti-Religious in My Class, and Yet I Returned to Faith'

He was the only one at the boarding school who refused to stand for *Kiddush* on Shabbat, and also the only one from his class who returned to faith. Moshe Sharon (42), a writer, lecturer, and personal coach, entered the world of faith through the back door, but in hindsight, it was the most correct and precise path for him, which included, of course, divine guidance.

'I Was Ignorant'

Sharon was born in Yokneam, in a secular home, and studied at the Steinberg Boarding School in Kfar Saba. During his adolescence, a saga of self-discovery began, and simultaneously he met, through correspondence, a girl from Dimona who at a certain point started to approach Judaism and returned to faith. "After we broke up," he recounts, "I told myself I must understand what these things are, so I started learning on my own, even though I knew nothing about Judaism. I was really ignorant."

Sharon jokingly says that those most opposed to religion are the ones who return to faith. "I always had an anti-religious stance, not sure why. I always grew up with the feeling that 'religious people only care about money.' I remember that on weekends at the boarding school, they would do *Kiddush* before the meal. Everyone was asked to stand, and out of 400 students, I was the only one not willing to stand. I didn't understand why I needed to stand and wanted an explanation. So, of course, they took me outside during the *Kiddush*, and eventually, I'm the only one in my class who returned to faith."

At 17, he began to learn and change his approach to religion. He enlisted in the army as an ambulance driver, and it was there that he discovered Judaism. "All the medics who served with me were *yeshiva* students, so during the day I would ask them many questions, and they would answer me. Through them, I started to fall in love with the religion. I didn't do much, but it began to speak to me. After the army, I decided to study in a more orderly manner, and so it was. I started reading books by Rabbi Yehuda Leib Halevi Ashlag, and something in his language touched me at the most uncommon points. I can't explain it. To this day, when I read the writings of our sages, their language penetrates me on a whole different level."

'Compared to Judaism, Psychology Seemed Petty'

Sharon gradually stopped working on Shabbat and began to study seriously, day and night. In time, he even became a lecturer. "I had a few good years, but I realized that other than certain things I focused on, I didn't know anything. No *halachot*, I hadn't even read *Mesilat Yesharim*. Meanwhile, I was studying psychology at Bar-Ilan University. I wanted to be a psychologist, but compared to everything I learned in Judaism, psychology seemed pretty petty."

Sharon married at the age of 25, and then the transformation occurred. "Fourteen years ago, my first daughter was born, and I began to realize the madness I was living in. I didn't see my wife, I was studying most hours of the day, I couldn't continue like that. I left the place where I studied and taught, and began writing my first book, 'Ayecha'. As part of the writing process, I flew to India, and when I returned, I realized I had to get my act together. I felt lost. After a friend introduced me to Rabbi Mordechai Sheinberger, I saw a *tzadik* for the first time. I was at his home in Jerusalem, a man with incredible humility, and at that moment I felt I had to be his student. I asked him what I should do for this, and he simply sent me home with a list of books to read."

Since then, Sharon began to understand that Judaism is infinite and there is much to delve into. "For years I only read certain books. Suddenly, I studied *Mesilat Yesharim, Tomer Devorah, Shulchan Aruch, Gemara,* and Rabbi Kook. I discovered a new and wonderful world."

Today, in hindsight, what would you advise newcomers to avoid making the same mistake?

"First of all, 'Make a rabbi for yourself,' it's not me who said it. I looked for a figure I could respect, receive from, and I found one. I also understood that when you only learn part of the picture, you're always going to get lost. You can't just learn Rabbi Nachman or just *halacha*, it's impossible. You need both. The weekly portion, internality, and *halacha*. That's what will keep you grounded, and it took me a while to understand that."

And once you understood that, did you become stronger?

"Up to that point, I had no idea about the *halachot*. I kept Shabbat, I knew all kinds of things in general, but only then did I start to understand the difference between *halacha* and custom, between *halacha* and commandment. Suddenly, there was order in my mind. Judaism unfolded before me completely. Today, I understand that Hashem had to bring me in through the back door because it wouldn't have worked otherwise."

Because you were anti-religion?

"I wasn't anti-Judaism. I just refused to be told to do things without understanding why. Once I started learning and understanding, I started connecting the worlds of *halacha* and Kabbalah, and it was simply magical. To this day, I marvel at *halacha*. My path was reversed, and to this day I pay the price. As they say, I built the fourth floor before the first."

Everyone is Responsible for Redemption

Sharon's debut book, 'Ayecha', came out seven years ago, and it tells the story of Ariel, who leaves his fiancé three weeks before their wedding date and travels to India, where he embarks on a journey of self-discovery and awakens in a Chabad House.

Sounds like your story.

"It sounds a bit like it, but the book is fictional. I wanted to write a book to convey the ideas that captured me in Judaism, but through a story, not in an analytical way."

Since then, Sharon has published five more books: 'Day by Day', which included 365 quotes from our sages selected by Sharon, 'Ten Entered the Orchard', a study book on the fundamentals of Kabbalah according to Rabbi Ashlag, 'Pairs Pairs', a guide to happy marriage, 'The Wonders of Anger' released earlier this year, and the best-seller 'The World Cannot Exist Without You', which deals with finding personal purpose according to Judaism.

His books are also bought by a secular audience, even though the cover says 'Judaism'. "I try to be the bridge between the two worlds," Sharon says. "I hear from non-religious people who have read the book, and thanks to it discovered how much wisdom and depth there is in Judaism, and it's good to hear. Therefore, I try to be everywhere, like when I lecture at Cinema City, to spread the message. Hashem gave us an opening to influence, and I think we are all responsible for the redemption."