All or Nothing?

 

It is well known that generally the order of repentance follows the principle of "turn from evil and do good," whereby a person first repents for sins committed before Hashem, and afterward adds good deeds and commandments that will stand to their credit. Rambam wrote (Laws of Repentance, Ch. 7) in these words: How exalted is the level of repentance! Yesterday, this person was separated from Hashem, God of Israel, as it is written, "Your iniquities have separated between you and your God." He would cry out and not be answered (in prayer), as it is written, "Even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen." "He performs commandments and they are thrown back in his face," as it is written, "Who has asked this of you, to trample My courts?" etc., "I have no desire for you, says Hashem of Hosts, and I will not accept an offering from your hands; add your burnt offerings to your sacrifices and eat the meat." But today (after repenting), he is attached to the Divine Presence, as it is written, "And you who cling to Hashem your God." He cries out and is answered immediately, as it is written, "Before they call, I will answer." He performs commandments and they are received with joy and pleasure, as it is written, "For God has already approved your deeds."

From Rambam's words, it appears that Hashem has no desire for the commandments performed by one who remains in sin, since such a person is not beloved before Hashem, and his commandments are thrown back in his face. If so, all his effort in performing commandments while he is not yet completely repentant seems to be in vain, with no benefit whatsoever.

However, this is not actually the case, as explained in the Yalkut (Hosea, hint 529), that whoever has committed a transgression and hasn't been able to repent should exchange it for good deeds, repent, and be accepted. Our master Rabbi Ovadia Yosef explained that the Yalkut's intention is that if someone is trying to repent but hasn't yet succeeded, since ultimately he intends to repent, he shouldn't sit idle from performing commandments. Rather, he should invest all his strength in commandments and good deeds, and later when he succeeds in repenting, all the commandments and good deeds he performed will retroactively be accepted favorably before Hashem.

We can add that the very act of performing commandments while one hasn't yet succeeded in repenting helps that person later succeed in repentance. For someone who sins in some matter and strives to repent, and during that period invests in Torah study and commandments, without doubt that study influences him with holiness and helps him conquer his evil inclination from then on. And when he repents, his repentance will be accepted, and he will also receive reward for the commandments he fulfilled.

Our master the Rabbi explained (in the name of commentators) the famous story brought in the Gemara in Tractate Avodah Zarah (17a), about Elazar ben Durdaya, who was a great sinner and repented. When he realized how great his sin was, he placed his head between his knees and wept over his transgressions until his soul departed. A heavenly voice proclaimed, "Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya is destined for life in the World to Come," as his repentance was accepted. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi wept and said, "There are those who acquire their world in a single hour." One might ask why Rabbi wept about a penitent being destined for the World to Come. They explained that Rabbi wept because Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya had not acquired for himself in his lifetime appropriate commandments and good deeds, especially in Torah study, which he could no longer fulfill in the World to Come. Had Rabbi Elazar fulfilled commandments even while he hadn't yet succeeded in repenting, he would have merited through his repentance to receive reward for all he had done, and fortunate would be his portion.