"Mom Left the Secular Kibbutz, and It Sealed Our Family's Fate": A Captivating Interview with Eta Leibowitz

Background:

Eta Leibowitz grew up in Bnei Brak and pursued teaching studies at Beit Vagan College in Jerusalem. She started working as a teacher, but since the birth of her first son, she stayed home to raise her ten children. Initially, the Leibowitz couple lived in Mevaseret, where her husband studied at a kollel for six years, and later moved to strengthen the settlement at the community of Katzrin in the Golan Heights. From there they went to Kiryat Arba and then settled for 33 years in the 'Avraham Avinu' neighborhood in Hebron, close to the Cave of the Patriarchs.

At the age of 42, Eta began studying counseling at Beit Vagan College and worked as a counselor for about 18 years at a Talmud Torah in Kiryat Arba. Later, she studied therapy and children's games and worked in that field. About 16 years ago, her fifth son, Shamai Elazar Leibowitz, may *Hashem* avenge his blood, was murdered by a terrorist while in the army, in southern Mount Hebron. In recent years, the Leibowitz couple decided to move and are now living in the "Esh Kodesh" hill in Samaria.

Childhood Memory:

"I remember trips with Mom and Dad in Dad's old 'Tranta' car, where we traveled to various distant places in the country. I remember how we slept in sleeping bags or youth hostels and Mom, a Holocaust survivor, saying not to throw fruit peels out of the car on the beloved soil of the Land of Israel. From then until now, we go out each year with our children and grandchildren on trips to different places, and it's a significant part of our family life experiences."

A Significant Event that Left Its Mark:

"After high school, I was among those who helped build the temporary settlement of Mevo Horon. We were a very young group then, and with our joint efforts and the settlement rabbi's, we established and built a life of love of the Torah, love of the land, and love of the people of Israel. We lived a communal life, worked in agriculture and education in nearby settlements, and did everything required to create stable and permanent life in the place. I personally worked at that time in the secretariat and was even responsible for a field of anemones.

"Another meaningful time for me were the years I studied at the college in Jerusalem, where I established the foundations of my faith from essential sacred books: 'Mesilat Yesharim', 'Derech Hashem by Ramchal', 'Chovot HaLevavot', 'Michtav M'Eliyahu', and more. To this day, many years later, when I need strengthening in some challenging area, the fundamentals I learned from these books come before me, and I return, open them, and study from them."

Eta Leibowitz

What I'm Happiest I Did in My Life:

"I'm happiest that I gave birth to ten children and devoted myself entirely to raising them at home. I saw it as an important role and a great privilege. Sometimes people ask me how I raised them all, as it's so challenging. My answer is that children come one by one, not all at once, and besides, I've never seen them as one group, but each one individually and as a world unto themselves. It's not always easy to support the different paths of each child and give them what they need, want, and at the right time, but I have tried to invest as much as possible. After the birth of my eighth child, I felt I had to go out, and indeed I pursued counseling studies and began working as a counselor at the Talmud Torah.

"Economically, people often ask how it can be managed. So I felt strongly how during the time my husband was at the kollel, we had enough money, even for charity, and nothing was lacking. Opposite us was a friend who had a high-powered job and earned several times over, yet was always in overdraft. I have no logical explanation for this, other than when my husband studied Torah, Hashem sent us a wealth of blessing in livelihood. Conversely, when he started working, suddenly appliances began breaking, we needed dental treatments, and more. Even then, you could say we managed well, but this difference in unexpected expenses was very pronounced. Even today, when there is suddenly some large unforeseen expense, we check our tithes and ask ourselves if maybe we didn't give enough charity."

A Significant Insight I Gained in Life:

"After we lost our son Shamai Elazar, may *Hashem* avenge his blood, what sustained us and gave us the strength to live life, from then until now, is the understanding that this disaster did not happen by chance. It wasn't the terrorist who decided to take his life at that moment, but Hashem. Everyone has a precise divine plan, with which they enter and leave the world. So too did our holy son, who was murdered on the holy Shabbat eve, on the eve of his 21st birthday, not lose his life by a terrorist's corrupt will, but came into the world with a plan of 21 years set by Hashem. The faith in Hashem, His control in the world down to the last detail, and faith in divine goodness are what strengthened us and helped us not become embittered and lifeless. On the contrary, we always try to see the divine good that *Hashem* bestows upon us and thank Him for it, and we have a happy and good life."

"Even when we lived in Hebron, we had difficult times. For example, 16 years ago, there was a period when they shot at us inside the houses from the nearby Abu-Snina neighborhood, and because of that, we had to put sandbags in the windows. There were also instances where Arabs threw stones at the children's transport vehicles, and once the children lay on the bus floor and yelled 'Shema Yisrael'. I remember another event where a Jew was stabbed in the market near our home, and not long after, I walked there with the children to instill in them the feeling that we trust Hashem and are not afraid. Precisely in such times and in the face of other severe terror attacks we experienced in Hebron, we strengthened our faith even more and felt that everything is from Hashem. It was important for us to live in a place where the history of the people of Israel began, with deep ties to the Patriarchs' graves, understanding that if we give them up, in the end, they will also give up Tel Aviv. We participated in guarding the front line so that everyone living deeper in the country could live in peace, and this challenge raised us a level above ordinary life."

A Person Who Left a Profound Impression on Me:

"My father, who was a man of innocent faith in Hashem, always felt like he lacked nothing in the world because Hashem gives him everything. He was a building contractor, working mainly on the outskirts of the city. At that time in Bnei Brak, there were orphanages for children from the Holocaust in these areas, and other wretched people. My father used to walk down the street, shyly greet everyone, pull money from his pocket without counting, and give it to the orphans so they could buy candy for themselves. Likewise, he brought many of life's unfortunate ones home, supported them, and helped them, and in doing so, he instilled in us these foundations that exist to this day. I see this also in my children; they are people of kindness, contributing greatly to the community they live in, and open their hearts without calculation, believing that Hashem will send what is needed. My feeling is that we inherited all of this from my father, may he rest in peace."

"In this context, I must also mention my mother, who, despite being a Holocaust survivor, ensured that the memories of war wouldn't mar our happy childhood. She was an optimistic, strong woman with a lot of strength and always wanted to do more and more for her family and surroundings. After experiencing the horrors of Auschwitz, my mother remained at the age of 17 only with her sister, who was a year younger. At the end of the war, they traveled back to their home in the Czech Republic, where they met another brother who decided to emigrate to the United States. My mother, in contrast, was willing only to travel to the Land of Israel, and after many hardships, with a bleeding heart, they indeed arrived. Here, my mother and her sister met two cousins who were members of HaShomer HaTzair Kibbutz. One of them had come to the country to study Torah in Jerusalem, but the great hunger there overcame him, and he moved. The cousins offered them to come with them to the kibbutz and promised that all their needs would be met there. After urging them, my mother and her sister agreed, but after a few days, my mother realized it was a place where mitzvot were not observed. Despite the difficulty, even though she left empty-handed, my mother made the hard decision to leave the kibbutz. She did so with superhuman forces, and with this decision, she sealed our family's fate for a life of Torah and holiness."

What Changed in Me as I Approached Age 70?

"Actually, just as I've always sought to find myself, who I am, what my role in the world is, what suits me the most and makes me happy, I continue this journey even today. This has not changed. What has changed is that I know myself better, I am more aware of my strengths and skills, and I appreciate the good things in me more. This brings me to a better quality of life, giving me strength and confidence to deal with the weaknesses that exist within me."

"Physically, I am certainly not in the same strength as in my youth, but blessed be Hashem, my strength is still in my loins, and I do many things, even hard and exhausting ones, for my beloved family. Overall, I understand that to prepare myself for the days of old age in comfort, joy, and health, I need to invest in both thought and action. I strive to do this, whether in proper nutrition and sports or expanding areas of interest by continuing to learn and renew."

What Changed in My Environment as I Approached Age 70:

"We are a couple in an empty house, thank Hashem, and this is an opportunity to strengthen and deepen the marital connection and enjoy it more. I also have more free time, and it is an opportunity to make greater use of the abilities and talents that Hashem gave me, for the benefit of my family and the people of Israel."

In My Senior Years, the Most Important Thing in Life Is…

"To believe that everything is supervised, accurate, and for good, even if it's not understood. To walk with Hashem hand in hand, to be happy, and to see the abundant goodness He bestows on us for free and thank Him for it every day. When our son was killed, it was Friday, but due to a lack of time, the funeral was set for Sunday. My husband was the gabbai of the Cave of the Patriarchs at the time, and on Shabbat morning he said to me 'Eta, let's go to prayer in the cave'. I found myself before my son's funeral, in great shock, walking with my husband to the cave, where he functioned as a gabbai in the main minyan as if nothing had happened. When they asked him how he could do it, he said 'All the years at the yeshiva we learned that Hashem runs the world, everything that happens is from Him, and everything He does is for good. And now that this happened to us, are we supposed to think differently?' This sentence has been our motto from then until today, giving us the strength to cope and continue living by the goodness of Hashem.

"It is also important for me to understand that family is the most important thing, providing strength and a good life to a person, and therefore, one must invest as much as possible in their spouse and children. In the end, we owe them the most and receive more from them than anyone else."

What I Want to Pass On to Future Generations:

"I would like to pass down complete faith in Hashem at every step, moment by moment, day by day, with a great thanks for all the good He bestows on us for free and joy in everything we do and everything that happens to us. It's important to me that we don't take everything for granted but recognize the good that Hashem bestows upon us and thank Him for it.

"Additionally, I want to pass on doing for others generously and giving to those in need without fearing loss. This is because we are merely a conduit for the divine will and plan, and in our giving, we merit to act with Hashem in building the world.

"Finally, I would like everyone to remember not to stand in place but to progress in all areas. To be aware of the existing weaknesses and invest in overcoming, strengthening, and advancing in them. To clarify for themselves what their role in the world is and deepen and refine it as much as possible."

Do you also have a grandfather or grandmother who wants to share their experiences and insights from their world? We would love for you to write to us and we will get back to you: support@htv.co.il