The Rebbe's Personal Guidance Charted My Life's Course: A Captivating Interview with Nechama Shaki

Nechama Shaki, 72, was born in Egypt, where her father David worked as a bank manager. Her grandfather, Chaim Seville, was born in Safed, but due to famine in the land, he moved to Egypt and married her grandmother, Nechama, there. With the establishment of the state, the entire family returned to Israel, settling in Tel Aviv. Thanks to her father's academic education and fluency in four languages, he managed the Bank Leumi branch at the airport, and the family enjoyed an excellent economic situation. At 16, Nechama met the teacher who influenced her return to religious life. Later, she pursued her undergraduate studies in France, and upon returning to study law, she met her lecturer, Dr. Avner Shaki, and married him. Avner, who had previously been widowed, was a father of four, and after their marriage, the couple had three additional children. After decades of teaching and research at the Law Faculty, Avner joined the Mafdal movement, serving as Deputy Minister of Education, a minister in several governments, and as a Knesset member in various roles. Together, they also ran the Family Research Institute, and today Nechama is its chairperson. In the early years, Nechama focused mainly on raising the family, a role she considers central in her life. Additionally, her great love for learning has always drawn her to study. For over 20 years, she has been giving lessons in Torah and faith in various places, following a rare meeting she and her husband had with the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

Meeting the Rebbe (Photo: Private Album)

A significant event that left a mark on me:

"Every person has circles in their life that leave a significant mark and navigate them. The first and most significant imprint in my life is my marriage to Avner, of blessed memory. I was then 23, a law student after my studies in France. I met Avner, my law lecturer from the previous year, at a friend's bar mitzvah. The conversation with him was captivating and almost enchanting. His knowledge, breadth of vision, and charisma satisfied my deep-seated need for curiosity and a desire to learn. Avner was already a widower with four children, and ostensibly, there was no chance my parents would agree to such a marriage. Yet, Hashem had already planned and ensured that a while earlier, my parents moved to Canada for my father's work. Despite their natural parental opposition, we received their blessing to marry, and with Hashem's help, we were fortunate to live together for many long years in partnership and love.

"With Avner's many public roles, I wondered about the path our marriage should take, amidst various famous examples of public figures. I saw women who always joined their husbands, others who ignored them completely, and some who, against their husbands' prominent roles, had their own accomplishments, disregarding the children and family. It was quite clear to me that I would invest in our home fortress and only join Avner for public events to which I was invited. Therefore, when asked to preside over the Emuna movement, I accepted. Additionally, one day I received an unplanned and unusual visit from Avner's secretary, curious to meet the wife he so considered, even though I had never set foot in his office. Our lives were entirely shared, and Avner was the first to hear, consult, and receive views on any matter.

"Another meaningful experience was our meeting with the Lubavitcher Rebbe. During a period of intense debate in the country concerning the question 'Who is a Jew?', Avner traveled the length and breadth of the country from Metula to Eilat, warning of the tremendous dangers of changing the halakhic definition of that question. He repeatedly explained the destructive implications that could divide the nation and renew genealogical lists of Jews. The Rebbe, who knew and lived the events in Israel daily and hourly, heard about Avner's efforts and invited us for a private audience. Many sought his blessing, but obviously, only a few received such a personal invitation. We were scheduled to arrive at the 770 building at midnight, and the meeting lasted from 12 a.m. until 3 a.m. This is a peak time for a private audience with the Rebbe, which usually lasts only a few minutes. The Rebbe, who also studied at the Sorbonne, spoke with us in French. I was very moved to hear his request to 'assist Avner in spreading Judaism in the Holy Land.' From the moment he asked, I committed myself to this task, delivering lectures and classes for decades, both in Israel and abroad. Over the years, we were privileged to have two more three-hour audience sessions with the Rebbe, each leaving us awed and strengthened, with a desire to fulfill another challenge and another mission. In his great nobility, the Rebbe also told me the words of the Arizal: 'By virtue of righteous women, Israel was redeemed from Egypt, and so it will be in the final generation.'"

"My greatest joy is having returned to Judaism, and since then, my life's path has been guided by awe and love. At 16, while studying in a secular high school, I had the privilege of having a Torah teacher who was Orthodox. This had a profound impact on me, challenging my knowledge and thoughts about what my future years would hold. The internal struggle raised the question of who was right. Was I right, and perhaps the learning was just stories, or was I mistaken, and the Torah is truth, eternal and sacred. Gradually, I understood that the Torah is pure truth and was ready to observe the Torah and commandments as required. Initially, my steps were secretive. I would rise early to pray and secretly observe certain practices without anyone noticing. Once my family found out, I was warmly welcomed.

"My parents were traditional, and my father even served as a cantor in various places, without charge. My father instilled in us that helping others is the highest reward one can aspire to. Indeed, my parents were exceptional throughout their lives. Our home was like a community center for anyone who needed it, and the results of the education we received are evident in the unity and love among us siblings, even after our parents' passing. Today, I am joyful and moved to see that over the years, several of my extended family members have also returned to Judaism, following my pioneering steps."

Something I regret:

"That Avner is not here with us today to witness the growth of our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and to share in the joys of the family, nation, and land. In spirit, he is always present, very much so in our lives - in the conversations and the education of the children and grandchildren, who grow up in his light.

"After his passing, 13 years ago, I experienced a challenging period of adjustment. For example, the house we purchased on Mount Zion, at the government's request after the Six-Day War. In those days, they pleaded with Jews to legally purchase properties for settlement, and we responded and bought this property as an act of reclaiming the land. Suddenly, I was hit with a 1,000-page lawsuit from a Christian Crusader association claiming Mount Zion belonged to Christians. At that time, I was beginning to develop an invention that had won first place in a national competition and was already on the supermarket shelves. This, together with Avner's passing, created an immense burden on me, and I felt somewhat like 'David facing Goliath.' I decided to forgo the continuation of the patent development and turned to our friend, Dr. Yaakov Weinroth, of blessed memory, for help. Dr. Weinroth took full responsibility for this complex case and, as one of Avner's doctoral students, did so without charge. After a three-year period, we won, with the three Supreme Court judges ruling in our favor, dismissing the Christian association's appeal, which is by no means taken for granted today. Since then, the patent issue was left behind, but the house on Mount Zion is ours, bearing the Supreme Court's stamp."

Significant insight I've gained in life:

"All public activity contributes more to the one performing it than to the recipients of the contribution. The ability to touch people, extend a helping hand, live within the community, learn and teach, is an endlessly multifaceted learning program - for the giver.

"I saw this in our lives when 33 years ago, we moved to Ramat Aviv, neighboring Yitzhak Rabin and Shimon Peres. At that time, there was not even one minyan, and it was necessary to stop people on their way to the sea to gather at least one 'Amen' respondent for the Kaddish. Today, thank Hashem, in our 'Heichal Chaim' community, there are 3 morning minyanim, children's lessons, and I have also initiated a women's regular lesson and monthly gatherings. This is a community built by Avner, from guests at bar mitzvahs and celebrations, or those who happened to come for memorials, fascinated by Avner's extraordinary and inspiring sermons on Shabbatot and holidays. Over time, they joined as regular members of the community. Avner himself was meticulous to give lessons here every morning after the vatikim prayer, despite his many occupations. After his passing, our children, may they live long and well, continued this effort. This follows the winning formula of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, that to missions, a couple and children are sent, to uplift the place. In this way, the emissaries connect with people and serve as a model and example for Jewish living. The root reversal of 'send' is letters for 'weak,' as each mission instills strength, power, and renewal. With this feeling, I build the foundation of my life and continue on this path throughout all my days."

(Photo: Private Album)

A person who left a deep impression on me:

"The Orthodox teacher sent to teach at the secular high school I attended, whose name I don’t remember. She was the ‘maestro’ that redirected my life’s course, and to her, I owe the happiness of my faith. To her, thanks and blessings."

What has changed for me since I passed age 70?

"The numbers of a person's age, in my view, belong to the identification card. I regard it with a smile, and in practice, thank Hashem, I continue everything I love and do even now. I continue studying at two institutes, giving classes, writing, and publishing 'Pni'nei Torah', translated into English worldwide. I continue to help and advise people in general, and the community in particular, investing in family, and only praying that all this goodness will continue forever."

What has changed in my environment since I passed the age of 70?

"I chose to continue my activities in Ramat Aviv, despite my children having left the nest, while also adhering to my wonderful connection with our descendants, without any competition, they are number 1 in my life. Whenever they ask 'if I have time to...', the answer will always be 'yes, I make time.' For my 70th birthday, my loved ones planned an unforgettable Shabbat Kodesh, with words of Torah, compliments, and touching blessings, and to hear my eldest daughter write to me, among other things, that the world couldn’t exist without me, or my grandson from the U.S. writing that 'a meeting with my grandmother leaves an impression on anyone who meets her.' It was incredibly moving."

(Photo: Private Album)

I would like to ask forgiveness from...

"Anyone who would tell me they were hurt by me, for I surely never intended to harm anyone, not to judge or label, not in thought, not in speech, or action, as one of the important points in my way of life is to succeed in bringing joy to others. The word for joyful is numerically equivalent to Mashiach. The joy of one man to his fellow will surely bring closer the redemption of the people of Israel. Incidentally, the annual memorial for Avner, at the Law Faculty of Tel Aviv University, will fall this year on Iyar 14. I always thought and said that the impressive participation at these conferences is in honor of Avner, but then my son whispered to me, 'Mom, people also come for you, to honor you.'"

From the heights of my years, the most important things in my life are...

"My family members. I love them very much and am always available for them. Each and every one of them is amazing and wonderful in my eyes."

What I want to leave in the world:

"I would like to leave the 'legacy,' that knowledge and faith in Hashem contains only eternal good. It is resilience, stability, joy, love, compassion, and acceptance of everything one wants, needs, and dreams of. In my humble opinion, against the 13 principles of faith that Rambam wrote and published, I can speak of 13 direct outcomes of belief in Hashem-One, which I believe in, live, and am also fortunate to teach its foundations."

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