Is Violence Caused by the Exclusion of Women? Do You Really Believe This?

This week, women in Israel achieved a historic milestone as they brought the issue of violence against women and the ineffectiveness in combating it to the public forefront. Even a military operation in the north failed to completely overshadow the discussion. Thousands of women across the country participated in a strike, joined protest events, culminating in a massive demonstration at Rabin Square in Tel Aviv.         

Violence against women is a social indictment, perhaps a human one. In recent years, the handling of the problem has dissipated among government ministries, committees that were established, and mainly – recommendations that were not implemented. Now, finally, the women's outcry is being heard – and perhaps we should have taken to the streets long ago. Maybe it's not such a feat to hold a song event at Rabin Square. Perhaps next time, peripheral cities will be considered a viable option.

This isn't just a women's struggle. It's a social struggle – and social struggles must take place in the real arena – in the periphery, in the margins, in places where the pain is found.   

Now we must not miss the momentum, and we need to embrace public support with both hands but not forget: tragedies occur far from the fountain at Dizengoff Square in Tel Aviv. In places where one's hand didn't reach the keyboard, perhaps because it was paralyzed with fear. In chilling silence, the blows come with all the harsh accompanying descriptions, when no one hears – and who would dare to go and tell? The conspiracy of silence, indifference, shame, stigma – they are a slippery slope that could lead to the next case.

Ultimately, campaigns do not truly address problems – education in values does. A Facebook post brings people to the streets – but it does not heal the pain the victims carry all their lives. The harm to women, children, and the defenseless, regardless of who they are, occurs in other arenas, some hidden from view, some right under our noses as parents, as citizens, as human beings.      

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The protest brought various opinions to the public domain. One of them is the suggestion that the exclusion of women in Haredi society is part of the problem. Advocates for gender equality imply that the separation of men and women in campuses and synagogues, and gender inequality (spoiler: and who determines what gender equality is? And since when has the value of equality become sacred?) are at the core of violence against women. There are no words – it is simply outrageous and reflects the elite's attempt to preserve its hegemony. Dear women, those who exclude us – the Haredi, the religious, and the baalot teshuva – are you.

Who appointed you to judge/determine/decide that a Haredi woman observes commandments against her will, as part of a reality imposed on her by the supposedly male-dominated establishment? By this logic – since the Haredi woman supposedly has no 'real' choice, she is forced to accept gender separation and to educate her children to other dictates supposedly imposed on her by that establishment. True pluralism, which tolerates and respects diverse opinions, works both ways. You know, we could reach out to one another – if you stop being condescending and thinking that your form of oppression is more comfortable. Let us all internalize this. Only this way can we truly reach out to those who need it.