"The Illuminators": A Woman Who Opens Her Home to Women in Distress

If you ask Zehava Friedland how many children she has at home, the answer may change, sometimes from day to day. This is because, in addition to her biological children, Zehava fosters children, often expanding her family to her great delight.

"The truth is, I've always dreamed of being a foster mom," she shares. "It might sound funny, but even as a child, I always knew I wanted to have my own children and also had a deep yearning to take in children without homes. I was inspired by my grandmother and mother, who always hosted many guests and treated them warmly, giving them a sense of belonging."

"Since I established my own home, I have loved hosting everyone who comes by. I once housed a woman who lived alone and claimed her neighbors harassed her. She stayed with us for several months. We also hosted a special needs child through social services for a year and have provided emergency foster care for girls who had nowhere else to go."

"We always tried to keep the door open, and I feel that hosting has greatly enriched me. It's comforting to know you can help others by providing a warm home, protection, and respect when they need it."

At one point, Zehava and her family lived in the U.S. "We lived in a small apartment, unfamiliar with the surroundings. I thought I wouldn’t be able to host like I used to. But when you love doing something, it happens. We learned of a 13-year-old boy, a friend of my son's, whose mother was Israeli Jewish and father was a non-Jew. When his mother fell ill and the father's family wanted custody, I pleaded in court for him to live with us. The judge, who was Jewish, allowed it, and he stayed with us for a year, which made us all happy, knowing we provided him a warm, loving home."

Rehabilitative Foster Care

Today, Zehava lives in the Ramot neighborhood of Jerusalem. With her professional degree in social work (though not working in welfare) and emotional therapy, she opens her home to women and girls in emotional distress. They stay in her house (for a fee) and receive 24-hour mental support alongside full accommodation. "These women need a place to stay and rehabilitative foster care. I accompany them daily, help them find jobs, and offer guidance to their future hosts, aiming for them to return home to live healthy lives. Some have even gotten married, which is truly moving."

"I also assist them with bureaucracy, such as obtaining social security benefits and rehabilitation packages, and accompany them to psychiatric treatments, which minimizes their need for medication due to the comprehensive support."

What do your family have to say about this?

"My children are grown. My younger daughters still live at home, but they've grown up with fostering, so they’ve learned to live with it. In the end, fostering had a positive impact on them, teaching them to respect everyone without being judgmental. My daughter has been a counselor at 'Shiach Sod' for two years, which she naturally transitioned into."

Honestly, isn’t it hard living with these women and girls all the time?

"Of course it’s hard," Zehava admits. "Opening your home means exposing everything. Every family has secrets they wish to keep hidden. But I’ve taught myself to live openly, accepting that I'm not perfect and have my own struggles."

(Photo: shutterstock)

Moreover, "the girls are with us not just on weekdays but also on Shabbat and holidays. Imagine a Shabbat table where a girl suddenly has a severe mental episode, or someone needs 24/7 monitoring because her psychiatrist warned she might harm herself. These challenges are difficult but manageable because I truly love these girls. It's like raising your own children without thinking about the effort it takes. Here too, I invest my heart and soul."

Currently, Zehava hosts no more than three girls simultaneously, due to home constraints. "My dream," she shares, "is to rent a huge villa and host 15 women and girls, creating one big family full of warmth and love."

Would you recommend others do this too?

"I can't recommend this to everyone. Each person needs to do what is right for them. But personally, I know wonderful stories of families who fostered children and found unique blessings in everything they did. Personally, I had a client who struggled with infertility and fostered twin girls before having her own twins. I feel greatly blessed since getting into this work, believing that when Hashem sees our efforts for His children, He rewards us."

For the month of Kislev, Hidabroot is collecting inspiring stories about people who illuminate the way for others. Know someone like that? Send their details to debi@htv.co.il, or write about them yourselves to help spread the great light!