The Former Model: "I Didn't Want to Marry the CEO of a Modeling Agency"

If someone had told Hofit Karni as a young girl that one day she would become religious and observe the commandments, she wouldn't have understood. Not only because she grew up in a home completely distant from these things but also because she didn't know what observing commandments meant.

"I was born in Netanya, as the eldest daughter to an Ashkenazi father from Haifa and a Yemenite mother from a moshav," she says. "I lived a life completely distant from Torah and commandments. True, my mother lit Shabbat candles, and my father made Kiddush, but immediately after Kiddush, we sat down to watch television."

The concept of 'prayer' was something she only knew through her late grandfather, her mother's father. "My grandfather was from the old type of Yemenites who knew the entire Book of Psalms by heart. I think because of him, my mother lit candles, wanting to honor him."

"I Thought There Was No Future"

At the age of 14, Hofit experienced a shock. Her Ashkenazi grandfather (her father's father) passed away, and she insisted on attending his funeral. "It was the first time I had attended a funeral and the first time I saw a body; of course, I followed every detail of the funeral even as they lowered my grandfather into the grave. It completely shook me. My grandfather was about two meters tall and half a meter wide, and seeing how such a man ended his life and was reduced to nothing sparked many thoughts. I was utterly shaken, and I remember returning from the funeral full of reflections. Without speaking to anyone about it, I concluded that if this is truly the end, and this is what happens to us all, then it's crucial to learn to utilize every moment and second.

"I didn't know what spiritual utilization of life was then," she notes, "so for me, the best utilization was to enjoy everything possible, which meant going out, buying, spending, not worrying, saying whatever I wanted and doing whatever I wished. I adopted this lifestyle. Every time I wanted to achieve another interesting goal in life, I reminded myself of my grandfather and the fact that this world has an end. In those days, I knew nothing about the soul in heaven, and the conclusion was that no future awaited me, so every moment should be maximized."

Hofit indeed managed to advance at breakneck speed. At just 14, she approached a major modeling agency, was invited for auditions, and subsequently integrated into senior modeling roles. "I felt like I was conquering the world; my pictures appeared everywhere, and at 16, I flew to New York to join an international modeling agency. Around that time, I also joined a dance troupe and became part of a team of actors and entertainers. I toured the country performing shows, earned money, and became famous. Since my mother pushed me, I contributed to the state by serving for two years in the Ministry of Defense, then went on to earn a bachelor's degree. I did this just for the protocol, but my real desire was to continue modeling and acting, where I felt I was fulfilling myself."

Were you happy?

"Yes, I was satisfied with the achievements, but in retrospect, I can testify that I was always in search processes. When I earned money, I wanted more; when I got a good job, I wanted to advance; when I worked in what I wanted, I aspired to buy a car and then wished for an upgraded model. I ticked 'yes' on everything possible and more than possible, but I felt internally thirsty for something, a kind of void. I could never be truly content with myself and rejoice in what I had."

Hofit shares that this led her to travel to many places worldwide. "I spent time in places that people only dream of visiting, bought myself clothes for a fortune from every possible brand, but was still not satisfied. Today I can testify that I was probably searching for spirituality, but I didn't find it, likely because I wasn't mentally ready for it."

Not only did Hofit fail to find spirituality, but she was also extremely distant from it. "I remember participating in a protest at Sharon Mall. It was after they wanted to close the cinema on Fridays, and I came and protested with all my might against religious coercion. It's hard for me to recall this today," she admits. "But I was very anti."

Three-Year-Old Teachers

At 27, Hofit was about to marry a man she knew. "He worked as the CEO of a modeling agency and was very excited that I was a model and famous, which made him promise me grand promises. I felt I found what I was looking for and was already organizing the wedding. We booked a hall, dress, orchestra, everything. We even sent invitations, and my uncles from New York came to Israel for the wedding. Two weeks before the event, it all fell apart."

To Hofit, this was a real crisis. "After the wedding was called off, I felt I wasn't ready to stay in Israel even one more day. I sold my apartment in Herzliya, left my dog with my parents, and flew to New York. It was clear to me that I was leaving the country and looking for a better future. Eventually, I decided to settle in Queens and look for work."

In fact, it was the first time Hofit was searching for 'real' work beyond modeling. "At that point, I was already tired of modeling," she explains, "and there was no way to pursue it in Queens, so I decided to look for a different kind of job."

The job Hofit finally found was the most unexpected for her. "I saw an ad looking for a teacher at a religious kindergarten where the children spoke Hebrew and English. I decided to try, they invited me for an interview, and then informed me I was accepted.

"For me," says Hofit, "it was a very challenging job, both because I had never worked with children and because it was a religious kindergarten. They expected me to teach them about blessings and prayers, about the Jewish holidays and times, and where would I have knowledge about that? I remember the first time I came to the kindergarten; it was on the eve of Shavuot, and suddenly I had to talk for the first time in my life about Mount Sinai, about the reason for eating dairy foods, and about the Torah. I wasn't into it at all, but I prepared and delivered. At the end of the day, the children came to thank me, and only one of them sweetly remarked: 'Teacher, I forgot to say the morning blessings with us...'

Ultimately, Hofit notes that the children were the ones who taught her more than any book she studied. "Three and four-year-olds taught me what blessing to say for everything, what the first blessing is, and what the last blessing is. Thanks to them, I acquired a lot of concepts. By the way, the management of the kindergarten didn't require me to dress according to all the laws, but they did ask me to come with skirts. I went along with it. I felt that way I respected the children and the parents."

For her, returning to religion wasn't even on her radar. "I wasn't in that direction at all. Although I enjoyed being exposed to Judaism, I never imagined it could be relevant to me."

A Terrible Tragedy

Eleven years ago, on the Fast of Gedaliah, a significant event occurred in her life. In an innocent phone conversation trying to connect with Israel, her mother told her about a tragedy in the family – her cousin and his newlywed wife were on a honeymoon in Thailand. They boarded a plane with three other Israeli couples, but due to inclement weather conditions, the plane crashed as it tried to land at the airport.

"My cousin and his wife were killed," Hofit recounts, "but initially, they couldn't confirm it to the families, so they were defined as 'missing' for a whole week. I can't describe what my cousin's family went through that week. Those were terrible days of fluctuations between hope and despair, with so many question marks, and I was abroad."

While being far away, Hofit felt she wanted to do something for her dear relatives. "I wanted to do something spiritual, but I didn't know what. So I called the kindergarten owner and told her I 'wanted to go to a synagogue.' That was the only spiritual place I knew. She asked her husband which synagogue I should go to, and he suggested: 'We live in Queens, so go pray at the Ohel of the Lubavitcher Rebbe.' That's what I did, and on my way, the kindergarten owner called me and suggested: 'You should take something upon yourself when you pray there.'

"I was so ignorant," Hofit says, "that I didn't even understand what 'take something upon yourself' meant. I thought she meant to bring a coat or a bag. But she explained that when you come to ask something from the Creator of the World, you should also give something in return. It sounded very logical to me. So, after I arrived and prayed, I tried to think of what I could take upon myself. I knew I wanted to save my cousins' lives; they needed a big miracle, and in return for a miracle, I had to promise something big, and then I decided to observe Shabbat for three months."

A few days later, Hofit realized that her cousins were not among the living, but she continued to diligently observe Shabbat. This led her to meet a group of Chabad family living in Queens, who warmly hosted her for Shabbat meals. "It's a bit funny to say that I observed Shabbat during that period," Hofit recalls about herself, "because I tried hard, but my Shabbat looked like a little child learning. I knew not to turn on the TV on Shabbat, so I'd turn it on before lighting candles and leave it on the whole Shabbat. When I needed to leave the house, I would order a non-Jewish taxi driver before Shabbat came in, and I'd heat food on the stove, which I left on from the start of Shabbat, because I hadn't heard of a hotplate. I was very naive, thinking that's how Shabbat looked like."

But soon enough, she heard from the haredi community she joined about other aspects of Shabbat observance. They also exposed her to the beauty of Judaism and other laws. "After three months of keeping Shabbat, I decided to take on another commitment and decided to observe the laws of family purity. Later, someone from the Chabad community complimented me: 'How beautiful your dress looks on you.' It came from such a good place that I immediately decided to 'get rid' of all the jeans in my closet and started wearing long sleeves and skirts. I also began observing kashrut and only ate Badatz Mehadrin. I listened to a lot of online classes by Rabbi Zmir Cohen and Rabbi Panger on the Hidabroot channel. I would fall asleep with them at night and wake up with them in the morning. They contributed greatly to me and answered a lot of questions."

During this entire period, she had the opportunity to enjoy Shabbat hospitality at different families' homes. "I sat at the Shabbat table and couldn't stop being amazed by the special relationship between couples," she describes. "I saw how the husband honored his wife and sang 'Eshet Chayil' to her, how she served the food, attended to the children and educated them. I suddenly understood how much I needed to thank Hashem for not marrying that man I once knew. Because I don't want to build a home with a modeling agency manager, I want a home of Torah, exactly like I see here. Around that time, I also realized that I wanted to return to Israel and seek my match there."

Sea of Divine Assistance

Hofit returned to Israel strong and empowered. "I was a little and sweet religious girl," she describes, "I received a number of match proposals, and one of them turned out to be my husband, who also returned to religion like me." On the process of meetings and engagement, she says one could write a whole book. "There was so much divine assistance involved. Hashem orchestrated everything so that we would meet and marry; He simply wanted us together. And by the way, our wedding was completely separate, holy, and pure. How blessed we were."

Hofit and her husband built their home, and they currently reside in Einav in the Shomron. Hofit works as an English teacher and coordinator, and in her free time, she gives lectures about her life story, trying as much as possible to strengthen those who are still on the journey, wondering and searching for themselves. "But most importantly," she says, "I was privileged to establish a family and raise my amazing children."

Hofit is the mother of seven children without any negative energy, with the youngest born last Rosh Hashanah. "I was privileged," she says, "I was blessed to reach the best place for me and to recognize the immense light of Judaism. I give thanks for it every day anew."

To contact Hofit Karni: hofitn@gmail.co