Inside Chabad Bangkok: How Nechami Wilhelm Inspires Jewish Travelers in Thailand

It’s not easy to catch Nechami Wilhelm — Chabad emissary in Bangkok, for an interview. A mother of ten, Nechami never stops moving. She runs between her primary mission of raising her children, and her shlichut: preserving the spiritual connection of Jewish sons and daughters when they arrive in a foreign land.

Bangkok is the main “gateway” into Thailand — most travelers begin their Far East journey there, making the Chabad Houses in Bangkok especially popular. When we finally manage to speak, I discover that Nechami is even more remarkable than I imagined. I’m struck by how much difficulty, devotion, and dedication lies behind every shaliach and shlicha.

When did you decide to become a shlicha in such a distant country?

“From early childhood my parents were shluchim. They instilled the desire for shlichut deep inside me, and I grew up knowing clearly that this is what I wanted to be. Already during my shidduch meetings with my future husband, this topic came up, and it was obvious to both of us that shlichut was our direction.

“My husband is originally from Jerusalem, and shlichut wasn’t naturally his personal dream the way it was mine. But due to his father’s illness, their family moved abroad and lived for six years in 770, near the Lubavitcher Rebbe. There he saw firsthand the Rebbe’s tremendous love for shluchim and how passionately he encouraged their holy work. After witnessing all this, he too wanted such a mission — serving the Jewish people and bringing every Jew closer to their heritage.”

(Photo: Shutterstock)

How do you balance motherhood with the intense Chabad activities for the countless travelers who come through?

“When the children were small, I focused mainly on raising them and teaching at the local Jewish school. My involvement with travelers was mostly on weekends — Shabbat and holidays.

“As the children grew, I expanded my activities. Today, I give weekly classes for women on Shabbat and Tuesdays, followed by a shared lunch. On Thursdays we hold a regular challah-baking gathering, and many girls come — some regularly, some temporarily, some just to ‘taste’ a bit of Judaism. Many grew spiritually from this and continue observing challah separation and family purity after marriage.

“Holiday season is always busy. I’m preparing a five-week learning program for young women, like a mini-seminary on the meaning of the holidays. Many girls come to Thailand after the army or national service, and the program is built for them. You can join for any amount of time, with no commitment. And as always, we host meals and special events for travelers who love celebrating with us.”

Your work often begins with conveying awareness of God. How do you talk about God with travelers who may not be interested?

“Our first mission with every Jew we meet is introducing them, often for the first time in their lives, to authentic Judaism in a non-judgmental way, from their place. We want them to feel that Judaism belongs to them just as much as it belongs to us.

“We let them see, without preaching, without pressure, without the labels and stereotypes they carry from Israel. This is the foundation of everything we do. Every Jew who walks in here — every single one, undergoes a shift in how they perceive Judaism and mitzvot, even if he considers himself an atheist.

“At first we thought religious travelers weren’t our target audience, but we discovered that even they need help keeping mitzvot. Just this week, a religious girl told me that only here did she realize she wasn’t learning anything for her soul. She felt a deep inner need to sit and learn — not out of obligation, but because her soul wanted it. She decided to postpone university to study Torah for a year.

“So yes — many strengthen their Yiddishkeit here because for the first time in their lives, they choose it. Here, they decide on their own to keep Shabbat, eat kosher, go to shiurim. Things that were automatic back home become personal choices here — and that makes all the difference.”

How do you handle situations where someone behaves in a way that contradicts Jewish law?

“First of all, I always assume no one is trying to provoke me. If you think someone came to annoy you, they will behave accordingly. Many times our reactions are wrong simply because we misinterpret them.

“For example, one Shabbat two girls were here. One smoked. Her friend asked, ‘How can you smoke here? The rabbi is walking around.’ The smoker replied, ‘So what’s the problem?’ The friend said, ‘It’s not respectful.’ ‘What’s not respectful?’ she insisted. It turned out that she didn’t even know smoking on Shabbat was forbidden!

“Another time, two girls came to light Shabbat candles. One told the other, ‘That’s not tznius.’ The second girl said, ‘What does tznius mean? How do I know when I’m tznius?’

“The ignorance can be huge — and we don’t always realize it. If we accuse someone of disrespect, we push them away.

“Our rule is that at the Chabad House and the restaurant, we never comment on appearance. Only in the synagogue — gently, and only regarding actual halacha. Maybe I’ll offer someone a shawl, very politely. Once a man refused to wear a kippah. My husband asked what he did when visiting the royal palace in India, where they require long pants and a shirt. The man understood the message and put on a kippah.

“One girl told me she purposely walked around in a tank top, waiting for someone to criticize her. No one did — so she kept coming, kept learning, and eventually strengthened greatly.”

(Photo: shutterstock)

How do you cope with constant exposure to idolatry in Thailand?

“Every Jew — religious or not, is disturbed by the overwhelming presence of idolatry here. Every store, office, and building has huge altars with fruit and flowers.

"One day a senior doctor from Beilinson Hospital came and asked to speak with the rabbi. He was exhausted and irritable, so his family sent him to Thailand for meditation. The monk seated him in front of a huge idol. Suddenly he panicked and ran out."

“He came to ask my husband if he was crazy. ‘I’ve never kept mitzvot — not Shabbat, not Yom Kippur — so why couldn’t I sit there?’ My husband showed him the Tanya: ‘A Jew does not want and cannot separate from God.’ Sometimes we know it consciously; sometimes the soul screams it.”

Do Jews really feel closer to God here, in a foreign land?

“Very much so. Many travelers experience obvious hashgacha pratit — divine providence. Missing a bus that later turns out to have saved them, weather changes that prevented danger… They see clearly that Hashem watches over them.

“And with the classes and workshops, it all comes together. They strengthen their emunah — they see God everywhere, even here, far from home.”

When I mention how much merit she has in helping so many people grow spiritually, she smiles and says: “I don’t take credit. It’s not because of me — it’s because of Hashem.”