Devotion in a Foreign Land: A Fascinating Look into the World of Chabad Emissaries

It's not easy to get a hold of Nechami Wilhelm, a Chabad emissary in Bangkok, the capital of Thailand. Nechami, a mother of ten, never rests for a moment. She juggles her main mission—raising her children—and her mission of preserving the heritage of Hashem's sons and daughters as they arrive in a foreign land. Bangkok is the "gateway" to Thailand, a central starting point for tours in the Far East. This makes Bangkok's Chabad Houses particularly popular. When we finally chat, I discover that Nechami is even more special than I thought. I'm amazed to learn of the hardship, dedication, and devotion of each emissary.

When and how did the decision to become an emissary in such a faraway country come to you?

"Since childhood, my parents were emissaries. They instilled in me the desire for outreach, so I grew up knowing this was what I wanted to be. Even during matchmaking meetings with my future husband, the topic was key, and it was clear to us that this was the right path for us. My husband, originally from Jerusalem, didn’t have the natural need for outreach as I did, but due to his father’s illness, they moved abroad. They lived for six years near the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and there he was exposed to the Rebbe’s warm affection for emissaries and their sacred mission. Seeing these unique sights, he also desired such a mission—to be a faithful emissary to the Jewish people and bring every Jew closer to their heritage."

How do you balance motherhood, which demands so much, with extensive efforts and dedication to the many travelers swarming the area?

"When the children were young, I primarily focused on raising them and teaching at the local community school. My activities with travelers were mainly on weekends, Shabbat, and holidays. As the children grew, I began additional activities, which continue to this day, always ensuring to add more. Nowadays, I give classes for women on Shabbat and Tuesdays, followed by a communal lunch. On Thursdays, we regularly do challah baking, attracting many women—some permanent, some temporary, and others just wanting to 'taste' a bit of religion and connect to their roots. This activity has been going on for years. Many young women have strengthened their faith because of it, and even after marriage, continued bakers of challah and observation of family purity.

The holiday season is always very busy, and this year even more so. I am working on a new program for girls—a five-week seminary to learn about the essence and significance of the holidays. Many girls come to Thailand during this period, after army duty or national service, and the seminary is intended for them as it starts in October. You can come just for part of the days, so there’s no obligation. Like always, there will be meals and special days for travelers who love celebrating with us."

(Photo: Shutterstock)

"To give them the feeling that it’s just as much theirs as it is ours"

The acknowledgment of Hashem's existence and sanctification of His name are central to your activities. How do you begin discussing Hashem with travelers who might not want to hear?

"Our initial activity in meeting these Jews is the point of sanctifying Hashem's name—introducing people for the first time in their lives to authentic Judaism, not condescending, from their standpoint; to give them the feeling that it’s theirs just as it is ours. We let them see, without speaking, without misleading communication, and without the stigmas of the land. This is our first project, the overarching project we engage in. The Chabad House has many goals, but our primary aim, and I believe every Jew who sets foot here achieves it, is to change, even a bit, their perception of Judaism. No one enters here without their awareness of Judaism and observance changing, even if atheist. It’s a 100% success rate.

We once thought that the religious crowd was not our target audience, but we realized that we also assist religious people in observance. A very virtuous girl, who’s observant, told me this week that it was here that she realized she never learns anything for the soul and how much she needs to sit and learn—not because it's required, but because her soul desires it. Following this understanding, she decided to postpone her academic studies and learn sacred studies for a year. The workshop prompts many to strengthen themselves on the trip, because here they decided, maybe for the first time in their lives, to study for themselves, without external pressures. Here they choose of their own free will—to observe Shabbat, eat kosher, attend Torah lessons... the practices and mitzvot, always inherent in daily life at home and performed only as a result of environmental habit, gain newfound significance here. For the first time in their lives, they feel the need to decide to observe the mitzvot. It's very challenging to arrange a trip where one can observe Shabbat and eat kosher. In Chabad House workshops, we sharpen the point that on a trip, there’s no need to compromise spiritually but rather the opposite, since it places a challenge for us to continue serving Hashem despite inconvenience. With the loving and supportive environment of the Chabad House, they understand and choose to continue observing mitzvot even here.

Sometimes even secular travelers get closer to Hashem precisely here, far from their secure land, connections, information, and daily reality. Here they are willing to try and hear about things they wouldn’t do at home. After such activities, travelers often approach us saying they never believed they’d voluntarily learn about things connected to religion, and they never dreamed of the richness existing within Judaism. They come to us from an open place willing to hear and accept, freed from preconceived notions. Here, we witness the beautiful land of Israel and the purity inherent in everyone.

"I always assume no one is trying to upset me"

How does "reproving a sinner" manifest in the daily realities of Jews not observing Torah and mitzvot?

"In life, one must know that when rebuking or commenting to someone, it must first be checked that it’s done out of genuine love, concern, and sincere care. Not because you’re more righteous, but out of a desire to guide correctly, through encouraging words and supportive statements. This rule applies also to our home, spouse, and children. If we want our words to have an impact and be accepted, it must come from real love and concern."

So how does it happen practically?

"First of all, I always assume no one is trying to upset me. When you think someone is trying to provoke you, and sometimes there are such people, they will respond accordingly. Often, we respond incorrectly because we think otherwise. For example, when we see someone smoking on Shabbat, we immediately think they’re doing it intentionally or disrespecting us, and that's not always true. One Shabbat, we had two girls over, and one of them smoked. Her friend asked, 'How can you smoke here on Shabbat? The rabbi is passing by.' The smoker replied, 'So what's the problem?' Her friend said, 'It's disrespectful.' 'What are you talking about? What's not respectful here?' The conversation continued until it was revealed she didn't even know you're not supposed to smoke on Shabbat. When we see someone like this, our first thought is she’s doing it to anger or doesn't care, and doesn’t want to respect. A similar conversation, with a different variation, I heard from two girls who came to light Shabbat candles. One said to the other, 'It's not modest to light like this,' and the friend replied puzzled, 'What does modest mean? How do I know when I’m modest?'

Such ignorance in people can sometimes be underestimated, and we don't know it! When we attack someone with a question like: 'How can you not respect me?' it causes the targeted to distance themselves greatly, and certainly doesn’t achieve the right goal.

In any case, we only comment in the synagogue – and very gently. I might ask someone who came to the synagogue if she would like a scarf. Of course, this is done gently, in a request, not a command. Once, someone entered the synagogue and refused to wear a kippah. My husband asked him what he did when he went to the King's palace in India, where it's mandatory to wear long pants and a shirt. This way, the man understood the message and wore the kippah.

Someone who stayed a long time at the Chabad House told me that initially, she purposely walked around in a sleeveless shirt, so someone would comment on it, and because nobody did, she kept coming, listening, and consequently strengthened her faith. The connection between us also strengthened accordingly. So yes, there are people who come to test and check, so we have a rule: at the Chabad House and the restaurant, we don’t comment on anyone’s appearance, but in the synagogue, when it pertains to the halachic rules, we make comments in a correct and respectful way."

(Photo: shutterstock)

"The power of the Jewish soul cries out"

In a place full of idols and idolatry, how do you deal with these images?

"Absolutely, both observant and non-observant acknowledge that their encounter with the idolatrous images spread everywhere here is deeply unsettling. In every store, institution, or public office, and actually almost everywhere, there is a large structure of flowers and fruits for idolatry. The power of the Jewish soul cries out, and it utterly shocks any Jew.

One day, a senior physician from Beilinson Hospital arrived here and asked to speak with the rabbi. My husband approached him and asked what he needed. The respectable professor replied, 'I want to ask you: how is it possible to do meditation in front of a statue?' My husband answered that it could be problematic. The professor, looking like a respectable person, asked in response, 'Do I look sane to you?' My husband didn’t understand what he wanted. 'Why are you asking?' the professor explained, 'I am a renowned doctor, and for a long time, I felt exhausted and impatient. My family, very worried about me, sent me to Thailand to meditate and relax. When I got here, I found a monk who was supposed to teach me meditation. The monk sat me in front of a large statue and we started the practice. At that point,' the professor said, 'I didn't understand what happened to me, but I took off and ran. At that moment I decided I must talk to a rabbi to determine if I am sane because I have never kept mitzvot, not even Shabbat or Yom Kippur. So, what happened that I was so shaken?' The physician was shocked at himself and couldn't understand why he couldn't sit in front of the statue. My husband showed him the Tanya and pointed out the phrase: 'A Jew does not want and cannot detach from elokut.' There are places where we are aware of it, and places where the soul screams it. We have many stories of people who couldn't take pictures of statues or temples."

Many report that specifically during their trip to Thailand, specifically in a foreign land, they managed to understand Hashem's presence. Have you encountered this?

"Many Jews come here and tangibly see the personal divine providence that kept and helped them on their journey. It could be a bus they missed, weather that ruined a trip but saved them from something else, or anything else that tangibly proved to them that Hashem watches over every Jew wherever they are. Following this tangible view of divine providence, they strengthen themselves, and along with what they hear in classes or workshops, things connect for them to belief in Hashem. Especially here, the reality of Hashem everywhere and His special guardianship over each of us sharpen."

When I mention it’s a great privilege that people were strengthened through her, she replies with a smile: "I don’t take responsibility, it’s not because of me, but thanks to Hashem."

The article was published in 'L’nishma' magazine.