Adva Biton's Unique Initiative: 'The Warm Home of Adele Will Roll Across the Country'

Dr. Adva Biton established the 'Adele Association' in memory of her daughter Adele Biton, who was severely injured in a terror attack when stones were thrown at their family car. For two years, little Adele fought tirelessly to recover, supported by her family, but ultimately, the severe injuries claimed her life.

Since that moment, Adva has not rested. Instead of retreating into her personal grief, she decided to establish the association. "The Adele Association is intended for families who lost loved ones in a tragedy and aren't categorized as 'victims of terror,'" she explains. "We reach out to families whose dear ones have passed away in incidents like illness or road accidents, or any other tragic situation. In the last three years, we have provided them a supportive and emotional environment, and this is our purpose."

Providing the Support

Adva emphasizes, "It's no secret that there is a hierarchy even in bereavement. Victims of terror, for example, receive full support from the Ministry of Defense in a wide range of aspects. However, families who experience other tragedies, without a support system or community, fall through the cracks, as there is no official body to care for them.

"I must say that establishing our association is also raising a social flag that clearly states: pain and loss are experiences shared by many families. Every bereaved family virtually deals with the same aspects. The structure is quite similar. But unfortunately, victims of terror are embraced by the state, while other families are not.

"I can tell you that in the three years our association has been operating, I have met families who lost their loved ones eighteen years ago and haven't found an organization to support them all this time. Conversely, we also receive families shortly after a tragedy, with fresh pain. Naturally, we welcome them all."

What do you offer these families?

"First of all, support, as we organize support groups and meetings. The shared dialogue with families who have also traumatically lost loved ones opens parents to the feeling that someone understands them, something those who haven't experienced it can't truly comprehend.

"Beyond that, we continuously hold activities and interesting initiatives. We help organize commemorative events, which are crucial for bereaved families. Additionally, we also assist in specific events. Recently, for instance, we supported a family that, sadly, experienced a severe road accident in which they lost two of their children. Now they are preparing to celebrate their eldest son's bar mitzvah, and we have helped them with that."

Do you mean financial support?

"Not at all" (she smiles), "We absolutely do not distribute money, but rather mobilize the people of Israel. We have many volunteers in the organization, of all types and styles, including professionals from various fields, who come with their big hearts to help the people of Israel. Thus, with the help of these wonderful volunteers, we were able to significantly help organize the bar mitzvah celebration. And by the way, everyone is delighted, as those who contribute gain so much in return. It's indescribable satisfaction."

By the way, Adva mentions that bereaved families, over time, become active participants in the association. "They contribute greatly and manage to be partners in so many projects that strengthen others through social initiatives. This is part of what helps them overcome the pain of bereavement. Because the truth is, there is no real cure for this immense pain, but when you contribute of yourself, it becomes part of the healing process."

Don't Feel Sorry; Have Faith

Adva emphasizes that throughout the association's activities, the starting point is to "avoid a sense of self-pity." "It's very important to us not to come from a place of sorrow or a gloomy atmosphere, but to emphasize more the aspect of faith. The feeling we try to convey is that each of us comes to this world to carry out a mission and complete the journey of our life. These are things we need to deal with, and it's best to do so with strength and courage."

This certainly seems like an endless job...

"True, I genuinely work around the clock, but it fills me, thank Hashem, and gives me strength. This is my way to cope with my great personal loss, and it helps me in the process of processing the loss. One of the things I've learned in recent years is that everyone deals with their grief differently, and for me, this is the best way to deal with bereavement. When I'm engaged in action and see people coming to me saying: 'How you helped us, how you managed to uplift us,' it strengthens me personally and empowers me."

Doesn't meeting so many tragedies and disasters hurt you?

"To tell you the truth – dealing endlessly with pain is very difficult. Because yes, the association I founded doesn't engage in a blooming, joyous subject, but repeatedly faces me with bereavement. It's clear it isn't easy, but my main feeling is that Hashem knows who He tests and how much each can endure, and He gives us trials according to our capabilities. I've been blessed from above with the ability to reach people and touch hearts. It’s a gift, and I believe I must use it to strengthen others. This is my mission here, even though the topic is sometimes challenging."

By the way, Adva notes that the painful nature of the subject also makes it difficult for her to manage the organization. "Of course, our organization, like any other, survives on donations, and truthfully, it's a bit challenging for me to 'market' our association and reach out to donors. For example – when it comes to an association helping living people, like cancer patients, despite the pain, you can see the child's figure facing the struggle, which motivates donations. But in our case, with the Adele Association, there isn't a visible figure. We’re essentially talking about someone who is no longer here. Though we can always try to communicate the anguish and explain what bereavement and pain mean, if you haven't experienced it yourself, it's hard to truly understand what it means to live with this bleeding wound every day, constantly."

So how do you manage with fundraising?

"Siyata d'shmaya," she replies sincerely, "I encounter so many instances of providence when Hashem sends me exactly the right donations through the right people, who genuinely donate from their hearts, and they help us keep going. The donors understand that there’s genuinely no other organization addressing this issue, despite its immense importance."

The Truck is Ready to Hit the Road

About two years ago, Adva launched a crowdfunding project to raise the necessary funds to establish a 'Resilience Center' called 'Adele Center' to provide the needed support for bereaved families. "We planned to set up a center with a homely atmosphere where therapy workshops and various events and activities for families would take place."

However, by the end of the fundraising project, Adva found that the funds raised amounted to 240,000 shekels. "We are sincerely grateful to everyone who donated, but this amount is hardly enough to build any center, perhaps just to pay an architect. Moreover, I'm someone who wants to act, not sit around waiting to have sufficient funds to erect a building. Meanwhile, I've also started to understand that even if I manage to gather the required amount and build a center, say, in Petach Tikvah, what will families in the north or south do?"

Thus, the new initiative was born: "A week ago, we purchased a giant truck. We will build a massive box on it and turn it into a warm, mobile home on wheels. This truck, the warm home of Adele, will travel across the country, reaching families with workshops, meetings, and open hearts. We are currently working hard on it, and I pray it will take shape successfully, that we'll be able to initiate something respectable, beautiful, and pleasant, as I envision it, as Adele would surely like it."

To contact Adva: Adeleorgan@gmail.com