Established Torah Study Groups for Religious and Secular Women: "We Found More in Common than Different"

Anyone who enters on a Friday morning to the weekly Torah portion study at Miri Shneorson's home in Kfar Chabad cannot help but be amazed. The lesson is managed by Miri and her friend Shelley Artman, who seem like an unlikely pair from the outside.

Miri is a Chabad Hasid from the famous Shneorson family, who has been educated in Hasidic institutions her whole life. Shelley, on the other hand, is a retired army officer. "As a child," recalls Shelley, "I grew up in a home without faith. Even when someone around me mentioned a higher power, I would defiantly say: 'If there is a God, let Him present Himself to me and I'll consider accepting Him in my life.' I wanted, so to speak, to interview Him..." To this day, Shelley presents herself as 'completely secular,' which makes it all the more surprising to see them sitting together for the Torah lesson. The other women participating seem to come from all spectrums of the Jewish people, which adds to the wonder of it all.

"I Was Afraid They'd Make Me Religious"

So how did this lesson come to be?

"Actually, it all started with my getting to know Miri, twelve years ago," says Shelley. "By profession, I'm a teacher of internal work, a breakthrough coach, and a social entrepreneur. I had the privilege of meeting Miri when we participated in a certain training program together. From the first moment we met, we became good friends, and this friendship has continued to this day. Our souls are truly connected, and we have a very strong bond, but I'll be honest – my biggest fear from the start was that Miri would try to bring me back into religious observance."

Miri mentions that she was aware of this fear. "I remember driving with Shelley once to Jerusalem, we were on the way to a meeting, and I casually shared how I was concerned about a major project concerning family purity. I asked her: 'Come help me and tell me how I can make this accessible to women who don't observe it.' At that moment, Shelley abruptly stopped the car and started scolding me: 'Why don't you just admit that you want to bring all women back to religion so they all observe family purity? It's obviously what you want to do'"

From that moment, Miri says, she suddenly understood more of what her dear friend was going through. "I felt that from that day on, despite our differences, our conversations became more honest and genuine. In turn, we also started meeting and studying various topics together, not directly related to Judaism but associated with our shared studies."

"Once," adds Shelley, "Miri's husband saw us sitting and studying professional material, and he couldn't help but comment: 'You're sitting at home with a Jewish bookshelf, so why not study from the Jewish books as well?'"

Miri: "I was really embarrassed by what my husband said, and I was very concerned about Shelley's reaction."

Shelley: "But actually, I felt that it could be a good idea. I explained to Miri that my interest in sacred texts doesn't mean I'm returning to religious observance; it just interests and enriches me. From that day on, we began to study Pirkei Avot, Hasidism, soul teachings, Tanya, and more."

For the Sake of Women

The initiative for the weekly Torah portion lessons, which they call 'Niflaot (Women Acting for Unity and Bringing Hearts Together),' began at the start of this year. "The truth is, I've been dealing with Torah topics for seven years," shares Miri about herself. "The first time I discovered the world of the weekly portion was when I began broadcasting on Kol Chai Radio and was given a Tuesday program. I asked myself at the time – what will my broadcasts be about? After all, it's not a Sunday to talk about how the week starts, nor a Thursday to discuss Shabbat recipes. What do you do on a Tuesday? So I started opening books, lectures, and articles, and realized that on Tuesday, as it is doubly good, it's the day most suited to engaging with the weekly portion, discussing how the portion meets me as a woman in my daily challenges, in marriage, in motherhood. At the same time, I also began writing weekly Torah columns."

Miri notes that she has always dreamed of establishing a unity and bringing hearts closer project, and when she started dealing with the weekly portion, she realized that it might be possible to combine them.

"Last Sukkot," recalls Shelley, "the wonderful Miri invited many women to her sukkah to be her guests. I also came and we so enjoyed the non-sectoral nature of the event. We were women from all sectors and stripes, and it was amazing and uplifting. At the end of this event, we talked about the lack of a Torah study group for women who aren't afraid to sit next to each other, even if some don't define themselves as religious, they're not afraid to engage with Jewish materials."

"Then," Miri completes her, "we decided to simply start – from the next Friday, the eve of Parshat Bereishit. That's how we began to meet and deliver Torah lessons according to the weekly portion."

The lessons are taught together by Miri and Shelley. "I mainly love to focus on the amazing Hebrew language seen in the Torah," notes Shelley. "I often send participants a summary of important points after the lesson, including 'Word Delights for Shabbat' – I extract from the portion the wonderful expressions and the special language of the Torah."

"I talk about the weekly portion and pick themes from Hasidic teachings that fit us as women," adds Miri. "This way, our teachings blend together, and of course, we also involve all the women and hear what they have to contribute. Each time, it creates a conversation that elevates us all."

Don't you have disagreements during the lessons?

Miri: "Of course, there are conflicts. I must admit that when I see Shelley come in with pants or say 'God' with the 'G' and not a 'K,' it's hard for me, but I say nothing, I don't impose anything, that's precisely the idea of our lesson. Everything is done pleasantly and joyfully."

Shelley: "When I say something to Miri and she responds, 'I need to ask a rabbi,' it drives me crazy, and when I tell Miri that I'm thrilled about a Saturday cycling competition, explaining how the whole world sees the beautiful Israel, and she responds, 'And I suffered over the Shabbat desecration,' I realize we are genuinely different in essence. But over time we have also discovered that more unites us than divides us, and even if there are principal disagreements, they are usually less about religion and more about our personality and life approach, things that can be worked on, so we simply learned to do that."

Miri adds: "It's well known that our ancestors were redeemed thanks to righteous women, and in their merit, we will be redeemed. The Rebbe of Lubavitch says that our generation is a reincarnation or rectification of Egypt's women. Meaning - the redemption will come, with G-d's help, especially when we women appreciate our strengths and unique ability to unite together. That's something that especially characterizes women – to successfully bridge all worlds, find the commonality and ignore the differences, to forgo discussion on the differences."

Atmosphere of Shabbat

How do you manage to gather women for a lesson on a Friday morning?

"The truth is, at first, all the women said they'd never come," Shelley notes, "I also found it hard. I've been married to my husband for 22 years, and from the day we married, we agreed that from Thursday night at twelve until Sunday morning, that's our time, no work, no meetings, no dealing with anything. And suddenly, after twenty-two years, I broke the agreement. But the truth is, it's not terrible at all, and women come and tell us: 'You've changed our lives; we start cooking on Thursday night, and on Friday morning, we wake up like princesses, come calmly to the lesson and fill up on spiritual sustenance to bring home. We go back home, put the chicken in the oven, and everything for Shabbat is ready."

And Miri adds: "There is also an added value here, because I regularly prepare for Shabbat already by Thursday, and then on Friday, all the food is ready, and at six in the morning, I lay a white tablecloth on the table. So the women enter and it creates such an amazing atmosphere. The smells, the scents, and the ambiance are things that seep into the soul."

Shelley, is there something you've learned from Miri?

Shelley: "I learn from her all the time, but mainly, I admire her ability to accept differences. She grew up in such a Hasidic and sheltered education, and to see her accept at her table baalei teshuva and baalei she'ela, secular and traditional, women from Gur and Breslov, people of all styles, and succeed in creating an enabling and inclusive space for all, warms the heart."

Miri, what have you learned from Shelley?

Miri: "I learn from her learning ability, perseverance, and determination. I am not as educated as she, I didn't serve in the army for twenty-five years; by age seventeen, I was married, and by twenty, I was a mother of three. So I certainly gain wisdom from her. I also very much appreciate her determination, how she knows what she wants and aspires to achieve. She is an amazing woman, with mental strength and a unique worldview."

Finally, may I ask what is your aspiration?

They both respond with sparkling eyes that these days they are training more women to establish learning circles from the Jewish bookshelf. "There are many women who want to give lessons but are afraid to offer and deliver them," explains Miri, "and our aspiration is to enable them to do so and open as many lessons as possible throughout the country so that more and more women will benefit from this."