The DJ Who Gave Up Mixed Weddings: "I Knew There Was No Way I Was Going Back to That Emptiness"

It happened three months ago. Hai Ohayon, the successful DJ working with most seminaries and yeshivas in the country, had already arrived at the 'Keter HaRimon' hall in Bnei Brak, where he was supposed to bring joy to a couple who had returned to faith. "The bride and groom invited many people, but not many showed up, and there was a significant embarrassment in the hall. I looked at the dance floor and was ashamed. There were just eight of us there, including two guys who came to work with me."

Then Ohayon realized he had to act, and quickly. "I felt so uncomfortable for the bride and groom with the empty dance floor," he recalls. "I called Rabbi Meir David Shmueli and explained the situation. I asked him to spread the word to as many people as possible to come and bring joy, and in no time – I was in shock. The floor suddenly started filling up with strangers coming in one by one. Suddenly a bus of 50 orthodox tourists made a stop at the hall to bring joy, and within an hour there were more than 200 people. It was simply a miracle."

When Ohayon saw the groom's face before and after the incident, he couldn't believe the change. "He was a completely different person," he says, adding, "The unity on the floor that night is the strength of the Jewish people, and it's something you don't see anywhere else in the world."

Ohayon (29), married with one child from Jerusalem, began his spiritual journey at 18, already deeply involved in the DJ business. "I was playing and dancing at mixed weddings and thought I had reached the peak of my life until I realized I was not on the right path at all."

What caused this?

"I saw the peak of impurity and materialism, and I tired of them. I saw that everything was empty and not genuine. People attending mixed weddings weren't really there to bring joy to the bride and groom. I witnessed it thousands of times firsthand. The amount of gossip circulating, the negative talks about the bride and groom, the hypocrisy and emptiness. You see people dancing on the floor not to bring joy but to showcase themselves."

"So where to go, back to mixed events? I knew there was no way I was returning to that emptiness"

That was the turning point. "I felt I needed something else, something more spiritual. A completely different nourishment for my soul, and I also knew where to start searching for it," he says. "I began attending evening lessons with Rabbi Itay Shemen from Netanya, who today is a senior lecturer in Israel and worldwide. Shortly after, the rabbi sent me to a Judaism seminar, where I met Rabbi Zamir Cohen and Rabbi Yitzchak Fanger and received tremendous tools for the journey forward."

At 22, Ohayon decided to enter a yeshiva for half a day in Netanya and from there moved to Rabbi Yaakov Chaim Sofer's 'Kaf HaChaim' yeshiva in Jerusalem, where, after two years, he met his future wife through a matchmaking process. Today, after not-so-simple tests he was required to go through, he enjoys the fruits of success, closing a unique circle with Rabbi Zamir Cohen. "With Hashem's help, I have been privileged to perform at almost all the weddings coming out of the rabbi's yeshiva, and it's truly a great privilege. With Hashem's grace, today we can transmit all this power to the orthodox community, where there is real joy. Not something that needs to be pinpointed. Here people truly come just to bring joy, and we truly see great divine assistance in every sacred event."

But whoever thinks the road there was easy – is simply mistaken. "At the start, it was the hardest it could get because I had to learn the audience, the type of music, the culture, and many other details you can only learn in the field, just by working. Back then, I didn't have the experience and tools I have today, and everything was more difficult, but with Hashem's help, gradually we realized this is Hashem's will, and there was no turning back or giving up.

"So where to go, back to mixed events? I knew there was no way I was going back to that emptiness, and despite the difficulty, I understood it was a test from Hashem to assess my level of faithfulness and my resolve in the decision I made."

A message for DJs finding it challenging: "Hashem wants you to make sacrifices"

And since from self-sacrifice one does not lose – today Ohayon enjoys unprecedented success, much thanks to the fact that his mornings are dedicated to studying Torah exclusively while his evenings are devoted to creating his exclusive music. "To create this music, I invest many hours at home and in the studio, using a new and advanced electronic drum system to create interesting mixes and combinations.

"The idea is to take a segment of a particular song and overlay it with specific drum parts and other instruments that repeat in a loop throughout the song, sticking only to sacred songs. With Hashem's help, we receive a lot of positive and supportive feedback on the final result."

What do you find most special about orthodox weddings?

"Only there can you see 50 yeshiva boys getting up just to bring joy to the groom, without any ulterior motive. They take the groom, give him a massage, clean his shoes, adjust his tie, hand him a drink in the middle of dancing, fan him, and truly make him happy from the soul, not to please anyone else.

"I often see secular people on the sidelines, in shock, unable to comprehend what they are witnessing. In their world, there's no joy like this. They see the circles, the insane joy, the effort these young men put into making the groom happy and say, 'Wow, so this is what it looks like.' I can see in many of their eyes the desire for it to be the same for them or for their children."

What's your message to DJs and singers finding it hard to give up mixed events?

"There's no doubt it's one of the hardest trials there is, but the greater the difficulty, the greater the reward. You just need to jump into the water and make the sacrifice, and afterward, there is divine assistance. All beginnings are tough and it doesn't take one day to leave everything, but when you understand what the true purpose is, every little step you take is important.

"In the book 'Chovot HaLevavot' by Rabbeinu Bahya, it is written that every person descended into the world with a certain potential, and their role is to choose where to channel it. Hashem granted me the potential to bring joy to people, and if I chose to take this power and channel it towards holiness – anyone can. There’s no problem working in a profession you love, you are even commanded to do so. Don't stop DJing, stop doing what Hashem hates and leading mixed dances. Direct this power in the right place, and you will only see good things with Hashem's help."