Rabbi Goldshmidt Laughs at the Angel of Death: 'I Don't Want to Die; I Have Much Left to Accomplish'

'I was blessed to light the Chanukah candles with my children, my grandchildren, my family,' Rabbi Kalman Goldshmidt tells us with an emotional voice. 'It's not something to be taken for granted, not at all.'

He is excited, undoubtedly, but his voice is steady and strong. His miraculous story that made headlines on the eve of the first candle of Chanukah caused waves, and it seems everyone heard about the rabbi with cancer who was hospitalized at Hadassah Ein Kerem Hospital on the eve of Chanukah when his kidneys ceased functioning. The doctors were pessimistic and claimed his condition was very critical, but two days later he was discharged home and had the privilege to light the Chanukah candles with his children and descendants.

'The doctor who treated me told me it was a medical miracle, absolutely, and you know what I told him? I told him it was my personal Chanukah miracle. Hashem decided to keep me in this world so that I can strengthen people, and that's what I wish to do, that's my role.'

A Tumor the Size of a Soccer Ball

The malignant disease was detected in Rabbi Kalman Goldshmidt's body about two and a half years ago, in the month of Tammuz. He arrived at the hospital already aware that he had a tumor in his abdomen. 'I couldn't help but be aware,' he says. 'The tumor was so big, the size of a soccer ball... like when children play and put a ball under their shirt, that's how I looked too. It was noticeable because my face was very thin, as was the upper part of my body, but in the abdomen, you could see a "ball" and my legs were swollen. When I got to the hospital, the doctors told me that the situation was very bad and suggested chemotherapy, but I decided not to exhaust my body with radiation and treatments and preferred to choose natural medicine.'

'In the initial period after the disease was discovered in me, I ate only grapes. Three weeks of grapes, and then gradually added other foods, according to the guidance of the naturopath I went to, and it halted the tumor's spread.'

How do you know that? After all, you said you didn't visit doctors!

'I didn't visit doctors because they said there was nothing to do with me and no cure they could offer. But every day I checked my body. Initially, the tumor pressed on the lungs, and later, after the diet I did, I could already insert my fingers between the tumor and the lungs. This proved to me that it was no longer growing. In other words - the flood stopped.'

Over the last two years, Rabbi Goldshmidt continues to consume only natural nutrition. 'I don't eat flour, no sugar, no fried things, and not meat either. On Shabbat night, I eat vegetable soup with broccoli and root vegetables and also fish. My wife is my dietitian, she takes care of me and only gives me what is good for me.

'The truth is,' he adds, 'I feel that Hashem simply takes care of me and loves me. He sent me the disease to heal me. I may be physically weak, but during this illness, I learned how to heal my body, how to consume proper and suitable food. I wouldn't have achieved that otherwise.'

But you are suffering!

'Of course, I am suffering, it's hard for me. But I am not complaining. I have been blessed with a home, family, children, and grandchildren. There is an entire arrangement of klezmers that bring me joy throughout my illness, and thousands of people who pray for me and want me to be well. I have a comfortable and clean bed, study books, and peace of mind. That's not called suffering. Suffering is Auschwitz; in Auschwitz, people could only dream of being in my situation. Every time I think to myself - what would I do if I were alone, Heaven forbid, without all the people around me? It is clear to me that my fate has been fortunate. I must be grateful for it every single moment.'

Don't you sometimes think about how life could have looked different?

'Actually, I do think about it. I have a trait that makes me see myself occasionally from the outside. I then look at myself and see the story that the Creator of the World is telling and the roles He has assigned me, and I actually enjoy them very much.

'Do you know the butterfly effect?' he suddenly asks, 'there is a physical law that says when a butterfly flaps its wings on one side of the world, it can cause an effect of motion that will move other things, eventually leading to a tsunami on the other side of the world. That's how I feel too. We all, all the people of Israel, guarantee one another. We are like a giant group of butterflies. It's impossible for us to do something without affecting each other. Hashem gave me a blow, and through this blow, I was able to awaken so many people. In the last week I was hospitalized, I received thousands of messages from people who prayed for my recovery and were strengthened in saying the 'Asher Yatzar,' which I asked to strengthen everyone with. These are the things that healed me. Thanks to them, I am here...'

'I Feel Happy'

Rabbi Goldshmidt was not always a believing Jew. 'Although my grandfather, whom I was named after – Kalman, was a Polish Jew who feared Heaven, my father, his son, was born during the years of World War I, and he did not have the chance to know Hashem. I grew up in Israel, but since my mother was a sick woman, I was sent to grow up on a kibbutz, and I grew up there without any belief and without knowing anything about Judaism. Eventually, I joined the military and served in the border guard.'

As he continued his path, he became an actor and was very successful in performances before various audiences, but then he gradually began to become acquainted with Judaism. 'I can't point to the specific moment when it happened, but after I discovered the light, I could no longer stop, and I tried to explore and get closer more and more. This faith that I was privileged to internalize, at an age that isn't young, is what helps me today as well. Because I understand that it's not that I am ill 'by chance' or 'by mistake.' Hashem has in His world seven billion people and chose, among all of them, me to become sick and thereby sanctify His name. The very fact that I am now at home is a great sanctification of His name. That's how I feel.'

But wait, what's the medical explanation for you being home now?

Rabbi Goldshmidt laughs a big and free laugh. 'On the eve of Chanukah, my son rushed me to the hospital because the tumor was pressing on the kidneys, and there was an urgent need for surgery. The doctors operated on me, but it was clear that they might manage to slightly open the blockage in the tube in the kidney, but I would need dialysis for the rest of my life. In the end, I went through dialysis only twice - on the night of Thursday and the following Friday morning, and then the doctors told me, 'You no longer need dialysis.' It was a complete surprise. I tried to ask them if it's not better to undergo more treatments, but they scolded me: 'Go home, your kidneys are healthy.' So I went, and I got to light the first candle on the Chanukiah at my home in the Har Nof neighborhood.'

And can I ask how you feel?

'The truth is, just yesterday I tried to define my feeling, and I think it's called 'happiness.' Yes, I feel happy. It's not that I am healthy and whole, but there are completely healthy people who are not happy, and there are those like me, who are weak and not in peak health, but happy.

'Rabbi Nachman of Breslov says that a person needs to look at all the events that have happened to him and see how they are all for good, whether in judgment or in goodness. And I completely believe that everything that happened to me until today was only for good. So how can I complain?'

And he has something to say in conclusion: 'I want to thank all the people who have prayed for me and continue to pray along the way. In recent times we have seen the many prayers that were for the recovery of the great rabbi Steinman, of blessed memory, and I asked myself – it’s clear that the leader of the generation merits prayers, but me? In the end, I am just an ordinary person, a water drawer... Why do I merit it? So here, even someone like me merits it, and that's the beauty of the people of Israel...'