"I Asked for a Sign from Above, That My Late Husband Blesses My New Relationship"

About two and a half years ago, the 'Hidabroot' website first covered the touching story of Tair Tayeb (formerly Abudraham), who tragically lost her husband Yuval, of blessed memory. Today, we wish to close the circle and talk about a significant salvation, alongside countless sparks of faith and gratitude - for the grief and loss on one hand, and for prayers answered in time, on the other.

One year after Yuval passed, he appeared in her dream. It was a particularly formative dream, as Yuval encouraged her to move on with her life. "When I woke up and remembered the dream, I realized I wasn't ready yet - neither mentally nor emotionally. I simply couldn't put the pain aside."

What helped her not to sink into it? The challah separation evenings she led. "In each such evening, I stood before dozens of women - speaking faith, strengthening, and encouraging them. But when it came to my personal life, I just froze. On one hand, I knew I needed to open my heart to something else, and I had to start applying what I believed in and portrayed outwardly, but it was very difficult for me."

Time passed, and another year went by. As the month of Elul approached, Tair decided to accept an invitation to lead a challah separation at Rachel's Tomb. "After we finished with the blessings, I approached Mother Rachel's tomb and, for the first time in a long time, felt the need to pray for myself and not for others. I prayed and said: 'Mother Rachel, just as you gave up Jacob for Leah, I have given up Yuval for Hashem. We both made sacrifices. So I am asking you, help me and advocate for me from above - that this month I will be privileged to build a faithful home in Israel.'"

At the same time, Tair took upon herself to light a candle in Mother Rachel's honor for 40 days, say a chapter of Psalms, and pray for her match.

Fortunately, her prayer was answered and less than a month (!) later, Tair met Harel Silvera - a fellow city dweller who returned to faith 11 years ago and relocated to Rishon Lezion.

Who introduced you?

"His sister is a good friend of my mother. During one of her visits to our home, she had a 'light bulb moment' that both myself and Harel are returnees to faith, and she suggested introducing us."

How did you feel about it?

"The feelings were mixed. On one hand, as a widow, I knew I couldn't clear my heart completely. Part of me will always belong to Yuval, my previous husband. On the other hand, I knew that if I wanted children, I couldn't keep looking at the past and wallowing in it. I had to let go and give myself the opportunity to meet someone new."

'I Hope to Receive a Sign from Yuval, Indicating He's Blessing Me'

With divine assistance, the meetings went well, and after a few months, Tair and Harel decided to marry. "A month before the wedding, we went together to the cemetery to ask for Yuval's blessing," Tair recalls with excitement mixed with pain. "Both of us went through a fairly long process before our paths crossed, and both of us feel that there's no such thing as 'just happened.' After leaving the cemetery and walking towards the car, Harel told me the first thing he said to Yuval when he was alone at his grave was 'Thank you for watching over her.' That deeply moved me."

As always, Tair dedicated the day before the wedding to spiritual elevation at the graves of tzaddikim. "Among all the things I prayed for - for myself, for Harel, and for the new home we are fortunate to build - I silently wished: 'I hope to receive a sign from Yuval, through which I'll understand that he's blessing me.'

And behold, within just a few hours, upon reaching prayers at the tomb of Meir Baal Haness, her heart's wish was realized. "After the prayer, a woman approached me and asked: 'Excuse me, are you from Kiryat Shmona by any chance?'. I said 'Yes'. 'Are you Yuval Abudraham's widow?', she asked. 'Yes', I replied. I didn’t know her, and didn’t understand where she was headed, but her next question left me stunned. 'Are you in a relationship?', she asked. 'I’m getting married tomorrow', I told her with a trembling voice."

What happened in the next two minutes, Tair will never forget. "This woman just kept blessing me," Tair recalls. "And I don't know how, but somehow I felt it was Yuval's soul, with me along the way. Seeing me, knowing what I'm going through, and giving its blessing for the future."

(Photo: shutterstock)

About a week ago, in a moving and extraordinary ceremony, Tair and Harel stood under the chuppah, on their way to establishing a new family, albeit one that will never replace the previous one, Yuval’s, of blessed memory. Tair says: "I was blessed with an amazing and special family that I consider my own. Wherever I am, Yuval's family accompanies me. Their support and understanding gave me strength during my hardest moments, when I thought I’d never overcome this trial."

"Yuval’s two brothers, Eliran and Avi, were at my wedding and showed such respect - which I do not take for granted at all. They wished us well, and I knew they were truly happy for us". Tair also deeply thanks her former mother-in-law. "Esther, my mother-in-law,

is a noble woman with immense inner strength, and I will never forget her and her family. I will lead them in their celebrations, and she will be in mine. They are a part of me forever."

About Her Current Husband: "He Agreed to Walk This Path with Me, with Great Strength and Understanding"

Tair's connection to Yuval’s family is so strong that it was evident one of the 'Sheva Brachot' evenings would be celebrated at his parents' home. Yuval's family warmly and joyfully welcomed the couple, and the excitement was immense.

How did you feel at those moments?

"It's hard to explain. There were countless emotions and memories all at once. On one hand, I felt Yuval within every fiber of my being and knew he was giving me the 'feedback' I needed so much. On the other hand, I had shaky knees and fear." And here, she says, she must thank Harel, her current husband. "Without his understanding and support, I don't know if I would have been able to go through this. Before I met him, at the challah separation evenings I lead, I always told widowed women that whoever marries them has an extra soul. It's not simple to accommodate someone who has room in her heart for someone else, but Harel agreed to walk this path with me, with great mental strength and deep understanding. We talk about everything, and it’s a joy to know there’s someone there who accommodates everything – in the good times and the struggles."

(Photo: shutterstock)

Today, after the long journey she went through and the dozens of women she had the privilege to strengthen along the way, Tair extends great gratitude to Hashem. "True, there was immense pain involved, but I wouldn’t have been privileged to lead challah separations and strengthen so many daughters of Israel if I hadn't met Yuval. From the difficult experience of loss, I learned how to be more precise in my prayers, how to thank for the bad just like I thank for the good, and how to ask Hashem and pray for what I lack - from a place of gratitude and seeing the glass half-full."

And what does she have to say in conclusion, to the widowed women experiencing the same hardship? "The choice is in our hands. As long as we decide not to move forward, nothing will happen. We are all afraid, but it’s important to put the fear aside and ask Hashem to lead us, as in 'Draw me after you, let us run.' When you choose to follow Hashem, He'll lead you to what is yours."

"You can look back at the past from time to time - but not to wallow in it, rather to take strength from it for the future. You cannot change the past. So tell Hashem: 'Thank you for the years of grace you gave me my husband. I don’t understand why you took him, but I understand you want something else for me.' That’s how I prayed to the Holy One, and I knew there is no way Hashem would let me go through what I went through and leave me, heaven forbid, with empty hands. Of course, there were moments I struggled with this myself, but those who walk simply - Hashem helps them to put the pain aside, despite the difficulty."

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