"My Children Are with Their Non-Jewish Father, and I'm Forbidden to See Them"

The story of Avigail reached us, quite unexpectedly, two days ago. Avigail is a dedicated volunteer for Hidabroot: from her residence in Sweden, she skillfully translates a book by Rabbi Zamir Cohen. But two days ago, along with her translation files, Avigail also sent a plea: can it be arranged for as many Jews as possible to pray for her and her children?

This is how we became aware of a disturbing story, fully corroborated by Avigail's Israeli lawyer, Attorney Jacob Halpern. It turns out that Avigail was previously married to a Swedish citizen who abused her children. "For five years, we reported more than thirty incidents of violence to the Swedish police, including one where my son ended up in the emergency room after being abused by his father." In early November 2012, she recounts, after yet another investigation was closed against the father due to 'lack of public interest,' her son threatened to commit suicide if sent back to his father. The desperate mother decided to flee with the children to Israel to protect them from the violence.

Illustration (photo: shutterstock)

In Israel, the children were enrolled in religious schools and began to live like normal children. However, the Swedish father filed a lawsuit for Israel to return the children to Sweden. Israel is one of the signatories of the 'Hague Convention,' which stipulates that if one parent takes the children out of the country of origin without the other parent's approval, they must be returned to the country of origin. The convention only makes exceptions for proven cases of severe abuse. "In the first instance, the judge refused to hear any of our claims. He sent the children to a psychologist adhering to the 'parental alienation' approach..." Professor Richard Gardner's American theory of parental alienation suggests that mothers falsely accuse fathers of violence to alienate them from their children, and thus, even in cases of violence and abuse, children should be removed from the influence of the 'inciting' mother and placed with the father to enforce contact between them. Gardner's theory has been debunked in the U.S., and he committed suicide over the disgrace, but in Israel—it still has influence.

"Following the psychologist's recommendation, who believes the mother is guilty of 'parental alienation,' the judge ordered the children to be returned to Sweden. We appealed to the district court, which sent the children and the father for comprehensive psychiatric and psychological evaluations at Tal Institute, where they were examined by a team including a child psychiatrist expert, a professor of social work, and a clinical psychologist." In addition to the extensive evaluations, a statement was submitted to the district court by the chair of a human rights organization in Sweden, Attorney Ruby Harold Clausen, warning that if the children were sent back to Sweden, the welfare system and the state would not protect or attend to them.

Since the experts who conducted the evaluations testified in court that the children indeed suffered severe abuse and that the father is dangerous to them, the court ruled not to return the children to Sweden. But Avigail and her children's victory was short-lived: on the advice of his attorney, the Swedish father came to Israel, abducted the older child, convinced him to stay with him, and then appealed to the Supreme Court against the district's decision. "He claimed that now the child—brainwashed by him—renounces his previous statements." The court was convinced by the Swedish authorities' assurances that the children would be sent to an institution in Sweden and not given to the father, and would be under close supervision, and decided to return them to Sweden.

"Immediately as the children landed in Sweden a year and a half ago, they were handed over to their father, violating all agreements between Sweden and the Israeli prosecution," Avigail says with a broken heart. "Since then, I have been denied contact with them, and there is no one to help them with the ongoing trauma they are experiencing."

In addition to the pain of separation from her children, Avigail also has to deal with a legal proceeding in Sweden, as the father has filed through Interpol, charging her with kidnapping. "They want to send me to prison for eight months. I have filed an appeal, but only rarely does the Supreme Court here agree to hear appeals."

How can we help you?

"I don't know what to say... The need to fight for the lives of defenseless children doesn't come with a manual. I do ask everyone to help in spiritual ways: prayers, Torah study, and doing things that people can do for the merit of my children and myself, so that the harsh decree may be torn away from us before it's too late."

Please pray for Avigail Chana bat Sarah (Sharon)