Rabbi Yair Kalev: "I'm Simply Sharing My Journey"

Eight years ago, Rabbi Yair Kalev was hospitalized in the intensive care unit at 'Tel HaShomer' in critical condition. "I underwent surgery with five bypasses. They resuscitated me several times. When I left the hospital, I was weak and depressed. I was used to being an energetic person, and coping with this reality was very difficult. I experienced waves of depression. What is depression? It's when you tell yourself 'your story is over'...".

But Rabbi Kalev did not succumb to depression. As someone who has been teaching Chassidus and Tanya classes for decades, he started to repeat to himself what he often told his listeners. "I said to myself: let's see you do what you always say: it's okay to fall, but don't forget to rise! I felt like a person in a new reincarnation. Life after seeing death is not the same life."

Today, as he lectures across the country and the world with lectures flavored with ancient Chassidic tunes, Rabbi Kalev insists he is not ready to cultivate a 'court', build an image of an 'advisor', or even brand himself as a marriage counselor. ('I am naturally a nervous person; I go crazy seeing two children raising children') All he does, he says, is help people help themselves.

"I'm simply sharing my journey. I do everything to open a window for as many Jews as possible. I grew up in an environment with intense anti-religious coercion from a young age, and I know the alienation it breeds. The work of my life is to show the light and mental health in Judaism.

Rabbi Yair Kalev

I am not involved in returning people to religious observance in the sense of 'come be like the religious'. When I returned to observance, I didn’t want to be like any religious person – that's losing one's individuality. I returned to observance to restore the face – the inner self, the heart. I returned to observance to learn how to fulfill my unique mission in the world. Everyone has a special mission just for them, and if he does not do his best and realize his abilities, he is failing in his role."

The distress of our generation is so great, says Rabbi Kalev, that a person in a position of influence is greatly tempted to overestimate themselves. "One must be very careful of the ego trip. The inclination makes a person think 'I am deep, I am sensitive, I am amazing.' And then it is no longer possible to speak at eye level. Truly great people speak at eye level. I am not here to correct others but to correct myself. When you mean it, words of truth are evident and resonate with the heart.

"There is no room to be condescending to anyone. Every person is a small cosmos in themselves, a world full of wonder, and therefore deserves full respect, attention, and sensitivity – just as I treat myself".

Rabbi Kalev sees life as a process of self-education. "This is the degradation of generations – we are all flawed today. A man is not a man, a woman is not a woman, and a plumber is not a plumber. Wisdom is not to give up on ourselves, but to focus on education and work on ourselves. Even the tunes I play in the classes – these are tunes composed by righteous individuals who never stopped working on themselves. The easiest thing is to focus on the weaknesses of others – it makes us feel better because 'there are idiots worse than me'. But it doesn’t lead anywhere."

How to influence people while speaking at eye level?

 "When someone allows themselves to be of quality, so will their environment be. I came here to heal, not to be like anyone else. The whole point of Judaism is repentance – a return to my 'I'. Everyone in their own way. I am an advocate of individualism: unity is not uniformity. When each one realizes their best, they do not feel threatened by the other and can give them space."

Why are there people who refuse to help themselves?

"There are many reasons, the root is the self-love that blinds us. I may have immense intelligence, but do I identify with the Jacob in me or the Esau in me? If I identify with the concept of a mission – then I sprout wings. Or maybe I identify with the idea that 'I’ve been through it', and sink? We are both our best friends and our greatest enemies.

"Everyone has a regular seismograph that knows how to distinguish between falsehood and truth. But in this world, it is hard to notice it, especially with the enormous social pressure we are subjected to from birth".

Rabbi Kalev outlines four stages in a person’s spiritual development:

"In Chassidus, they say that a baby in the womb is in the world of Emanation. He has no hint of a threat. When he is born he moves to the higher Gan Eden: there is only the divine presence there, not Hashem Himself. But the baby knows there is someone hiding, so he cries. At a more mature age, we do not cry because we are in internal conflict. A baby has no internal conflict.

At early adolescence, we move to the lower Gan Eden. Hashem is no longer just hiding, but disappearing and ignoring. Suddenly we discover that our parents are far from perfect, and this world is not a cartoon but full of suffering. It is the world of Creation, yet it still has a lower Gan Eden aspect – because it is clear to us what is right and what is not right. There is also the promise of life: I will do, I can, I will realize my talents...

"The final stage of maturity is the world of Action. The world of Action is defined in Chassidus as double and compounded darkness. The darkness not only hides the light but denies the existence of the light. Then we learn to purify the unpurified with a hundred and one reasons and also to criticize the truthful who fight with the last of their strength. Thus, I become a negative emissary in the world. Because one cannot escape a role: either we fulfill a positive mission in life or we fulfill a negative mission. I either establish divinity in this world or drive divinity away. There is no third option.

At this stage, Hashem not only hides and disappears – but He also disguises. The good is mixed with the bad and the bad with the good. But our work is self-education: to awaken the point of truth, identify with the 'Jacob' in me, educate my ego so that it too will speak, think, and act truthfully. Yes, it is possible to educate even the ego. This is a great novelty in Judaism – even the material can bring light. Even the material world brings forth something good. The thief will bring people to repentance. Every weakness will become a gate to greatness. For the place where you struggle – there lies your highest abilities. All of Judaism is along this path of 'from the bitter comes the sweet'.

One who educates themselves, declares Rabbi Yair Kalev, does not need advice. They will already know how to handle any field. "You will not have relationship problems because you will stop trying to educate your wife and know how to educate yourself. You won’t cry about a lack of appreciation because you will stop relying on social feedback. And when you change – your environment will change too."

"The people of Israel are called 'a kingdom of priests and a holy nation'" concludes Rabbi Kalev. "Rashi interprets priests – servers. That is, servants. Our destiny is not to build a platform for ourselves but to serve. To serve the truth. Only then can we return to being like the happy baby we once were in the womb, in the world of Emanation".