"I Gave Up Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars to Study Torah"

"My fantasy was to be a millionaire," admits Yair Pardon with a somewhat apologetic tone. "I wanted to be a millionaire, a businessman who makes it big." Unlike many dreamers, Pardon took his ambitions seriously and did not waste time. Immediately after completing his military service, he packed himself up without unnecessary baggage and arrived in New York with just a few hundred dollars in his pocket.

Pardon, 29, from the settlement Shzr in the north, began to realize the American dream in the sales field, quickly becoming a sales wizard. He worked from morning until night, and the American audience just couldn't stop buying from him. His boss, recognizing the potential in the young prodigy, offered him a partnership in the business, and success quickly followed. At just 24, while his friends were spending time on college lawns in Israel, Yair was already the owner of a successful company generating hundreds of thousands of dollars, overseeing operations in New York, Illinois, and Colorado.

It sounds like you achieved the American dream.

"Yes. You could say that. At first, it was amazing. I enjoyed every moment. I had endless energy from morning till late at night. As the business grew, I flew from state to state, and during the "holiday" seasons, considered the busiest times, I didn't sleep for nights on end. I was raised on values of work, which helped me a lot. At age 6, I was already working in the chicken coops of the settlement, collecting eggs from my grandmother, so intensive activity never scared me."

What about a little enjoyment and leisure?

"My thing was more about luxury restaurants, shopping sprees of brands, and gadgets. I mostly preferred to invest my money wisely. I enjoyed the "action" and high energy more than wasting money. The work itself was enjoyable and addictive. Today I understand that the endless work was necessary for me to silence the inner voices screaming that something was wrong."

Yair Pardon (Photo: Yeshay Zolberg)

"The money became running numbers on a computer screen—I became apathetic"

In the U.S., for the first time, he understood that there was something special about Jews as a people. "Here in Israel, we don't see the difference, but there the huge gaps are evident. There's something more advanced in Jews—more than other nations. A general and emotional intelligence that influences those around them and an ability to read those in front of us clearly. It became clear that they are more aware of the phenomenon than I am—and admire the Jews for their abilities. Everyone knows there’s something in Jews that no other nation possesses and they talk about it openly. Jews hold key positions in the country. It's only us, for some reason, who don't realize we're special and try to imitate everyone else. These insights made me start to question who I am and where I come from.”

Where was the turning point in your life?

"It happened at age 26. After five years of business activity, I reached a point where I had everything I dreamed of. The company operated on autopilot. There were employees, team leaders, and regional managers. I reached the top of the pyramid—there was nothing left for me to do but sit and receive money."

That sounds like most people's dream.

"The opposite. I became apathetic. I sat at home and stared. The money became running numbers on a computer screen, but with no meaning or importance. The emptiness I had suppressed began to surface. From a young age, the environment taught me that financial success is the pinnacle of aspirations and admiration. But how could it be that I reached the summit and feel empty? I wouldn't wish anyone to reach the place where one realizes everything he worked for and dreamed of is revealed to be meaningless."

"Success became my greatest enemy"

"I realized I was a slave. I was living to fulfill my needs. I didn't have real rest. There's a circle of satisfaction that you have to fulfill. And it doesn't matter if someone lives on a thousand shekels a month or a hundred thousand shekels a month. It’s not a function of money. Anyone dependent on materialism finds themselves in this cycle. On that clear day, when I reached a point where I had everything I could ask for in the world of the material, I looked and saw I had nothing. I asked myself: “You achieved everything you wanted—what now? Start another business? Make more money? And then what? Is that the purpose of my life?”

I thought something was wrong with me, so I ran back to work. I thought if I increased the level of intensity, I'd get back to myself. I continued to invest in businesses and immerse myself in work, restaurants, and entertainment. I continued to feign and lie to myself. But this time it was different. All attempts to "drown" myself in material abundance only increased the emptiness. In addition, I began to notice how people treated me. When people see that you have money, they respect, admire, and flatter you. The more I noticed how more people wanted to be near me—it broke me. I knew inside that it was all a lie."

Did money change you?

"There is no doubt that the years of Americanization caused me to lose who I was, my innocence. Everything was about numbers, money, tasks, and goals. I lost the connection with myself. That’s exactly where Western culture leads you: live externally. Acquire assets, wealth, and power. Dress nicely and drive a respectable car. Who cares that inside you’re dead?"

How did you come to Judaism?

"When I saw that my situation wasn’t improving, I came to the conclusion that maybe America was to blame. I decided to move all my businesses to Israel, and within a few months, I was already living in Tel Aviv, surrounded by childhood friends and family. The difficult feelings disappeared, and it seemed I was on the right path. But shortly after, I was disillusioned. The emptiness returned and much stronger. I realized America wasn’t truly to blame and the solution wasn’t in external changes but something internal. I decided to be open to new things I hadn’t known before. And so, I began to browse the internet until I stumbled upon a lecture on Judaism. While watching—something within me came to life. I was captivated. And so I continued, watching one after another. I couldn’t stop."

What lectures did you watch?

"I watched everything. Every existing lecture and every rabbi available online. When I understood I had discovered profound wisdom, I dedicated the next period to researching the world of Judaism. I sat at home for several months, watching rabbis’ lectures online all day long. I saw hundreds, maybe thousands. I didn’t want to miss a bit. I researched everything and saw that all the rabbis were aligned on the same purpose."

The Power of Prayer: "I Asked to Quit Smoking - and Cigarettes Disgusted Me"

The lectures helped him understand he was closer than he thought. The fact that he was a believer – helped him. "The understanding became more mature and objective. I understood He wants us to be close to Him, to pray to Him and ask our requests. So I decided to try it. What did I have to lose? At that time, I suffered greatly from cigarettes. I was addicted, smoking every half hour. I tried to quit many times and always relapsed. I couldn’t stand knowing I had no control over my life. So I decided to ask Hashem for help. I didn’t know how to phrase my request and just spoke from the heart: "Please, Creator of the world, make me disgusted by it!". And so, several days went by while I smoked as usual. Then something happened that I can’t explain. Naturally, without me doing anything – I started to get disgusted by cigarettes. I tried to continue smoking by force, and every cigarette I lit really made me feel awful. Nausea and terrible feelings, until shortly after I couldn’t smoke even if I wanted to. It was truly a miracle. To this day, if I just smell a cigarette, I feel sick. That was my first exposure in life to the power of prayer. The power of asking. I understood the famous saying "He who comes to purify himself is helped". It strengthened me greatly, and I began to pray for every little thing. To involve Hashem in everything. I continued to pray and saw with my own eyes the private providence. It simply works.”

"You Can Study Torah at University. At Yeshiva, You Learn to Be a Human Being"

"The moment of realization came for me the day I understood I wanted to start a family. I wanted to marry, but it was clear to me that my traits were not refined, and with the "toolkit" I got from the secular world - I had no chance of sustaining a marriage. I didn’t want to marry and divorce like countless people I knew. An inner voice told me that to receive the full power of the Torah and refine my traits for family life—I must go to yeshiva. This understanding that there is a Creator of the world amazed me. For someone secular who lived in emptiness most of his life, it’s no less than winning the lottery. I realized not only is there a Creator, but He gave us a path and Torah to follow so that we have the best. It was clear to me that if that’s indeed the case—I must explore it thoroughly. I consulted a rabbi regarding a place where I could get serious exposure to the world of Torah. He recommended several yeshivas for those approaching Judaism. One of them resonated with me—"Ashrei Ha'Ish" by Rabbi Yosef Tzvi Ben Porat, who appears on the "Hidabroot" channel. I watched his lectures and was astonished. I had listened to thousands of lectures during those months. But something about Rabbi Ben Porat captivated me. I felt it was a person I wanted to learn from and take from. The next day, I packed a bag and headed to Jerusalem. Since then, I’ve been at the yeshiva".

And what happened to your businesses?

"When I started learning at the yeshiva, I realized the business was holding me back. I knew I needed to change, and the business symbolized the old Yair for me. The dilemma was very tough. I could choose the Torah path and pay the price. On the other hand, I could keep one foot in the old world to have economic backup but not be fully focused on yeshiva studies. I decided to give up the business. I told my partner I was leaving everything to him. It was very hard for him because we were a team. He tried to convince me, but I was resolute. It pained me to miss a single day or month of the opportunity to be in yeshiva and study Torah."

Were you not afraid of the financial implications?

"It was certainly not an easy consideration. I was torn - but I understood that if I wanted the truth to the fullest, I had to pay the price, no matter how high. You can’t dance at two weddings. Either you walk straight, or you walk crooked. And in my previous world—I was crooked. I believe that just as Hashem gave me success in the past, He will take care of me in the future."

How are yeshiva life?

"It feels like home to me. I’ve come to a place where everyone is like me. All are mature individuals who have made a shift in their lives. People who seek the truth and want to improve themselves. The rabbi always tells us: "You can study Torah at university. At yeshiva, you learn to be a human being”. And indeed, I went through a dramatic change in all my traits and qualities. Since I started learning Torah, I’ve seen that I have more control over who I am. I understood that the purpose of the Torah is to bring you to be a complete and refined person. I truly don’t understand how I lived up until now without studying Torah.”

Do you have any tips for those wanting to draw closer to Hashem?

"First of all – pray. Just try and discover that Hashem is with us and listens to us. You can talk about anything that comes to mind and make your requests. Additionally, everyone should contemplate all the good in their life. Anyone who looks at all the good Hashem does with them - will behave differently. Anyone who understands that Hashem gives them life at every moment, nourishes them, and loves them—it’s inevitable that they’ll simply want to reciprocate, love Him, and seek closeness with Him."

Don’t you miss the fancy restaurants and big money?

"I’m not willing to trade the joy I have today in studying Torah for any sum of money in the world."