No Longer in a World of Silence: Mom, I Hear You

When Daphna Greenstein's (40) daughter was a year old, her mother sensed something was not right. Ayala, her young daughter, now a three-year-old toddler, did not respond to noise. The concerned mother quickly went to the clinic and insisted Ayala undergo comprehensive tests to explain the phenomenon. "Since all our older children began speaking a bit later than most other children, my husband, who is a doctor, reassured me that everything was fine and there was no reason to worry," Greenstein recalls. "Although the clinic tests were fine, a mother's heart feels everything. I just knew something was wrong. I felt that Ayala didn't speak enough, but when I expressed my concerns to the pediatrician, she dismissed them and said it was probably fluid in the ears."

The Greenstein Family. Strengthened the bond

Following her maternal instincts, Greenstein rushed to schedule a hearing test. That week, she noticed Ayala, her cheerful and smart young girl who was aware of things, who knew how to recognize, who was beginning to make sounds, had become a closed-off child living in her own bubble. "The peak was when I entered her room one day, and she was sitting in her bed, not noticing I had entered. Initially, I called her quietly, and she didn’t respond. I raised my voice, and she still didn’t turn her head towards me. Only when I found myself shouting her name did it finally hit me and confirm the deep fear I had had for some time—my Ayala doesn’t hear."

You describe a very difficult situation for any mom. How do you handle such a revelation?

"It's very hard to explain the feeling I experienced with this chilling revelation. In the first moment, it’s like thunder crashing on a clear day. It’s very challenging and almost impossible to digest. I remember the first thing I did was rush to the phone in panic and call my husband."

Later, Greenstein proceeded to more extensive examinations with speech therapists, which indeed confirmed her fears. But then, in the world of silence, the most miraculous thing happened: Greenstein discovered she was pregnant. "Finding out I was pregnant the same week I learned Ayala couldn’t hear felt like wonderful providence," she recounts. "Suddenly, I realized that not only did Hashem not abandon us, but He also gave us this baby as a gift. However, since we didn’t know the cause of Ayala’s hearing loss, doctors recommended a series of genetic tests, following which we discovered that the issue was genetic."

When you realized your fears were confirmed and Ayala indeed couldn’t hear, how did you feel?

"On one hand, I was glad that at least we knew the real reason and how to prepare to treat it. On the other hand, it's a huge ‘wow.’ As a family, the feeling is like you’re mourning for someone close, who, Heaven forbid, is no longer there, especially because it’s a child you know, whose personality you understand. It was a serious shock for us, but at the same time, I felt grateful for it."

Why?

"Because I see Hashem’s hand in every step and recognize His great mercy on us. Initially, I was frightened when we were informed that she was deaf and that surgery and a cochlear implant would be needed. I thought I wouldn’t have the strength to deal with this trial. But then Hashem reminded me that I coincidentally have a good friend with a son who has an implant, and I drew a lot of strength and hope from her. During my pregnancy with Benjamin, I remember praying a lot to Hashem and asking, ‘Please, don’t test me with a trial I wouldn’t know how to handle,’ and He really didn’t test me with anything I couldn’t handle.

"When Benjamin was born and had his hearing test—the speech therapist didn’t know how to console me. I told her: ‘Even if he doesn’t hear, we love him and accept him in any situation.’ I was already mentally prepared for this challenge. Therefore, I consider it a blessing and a gift that Ayala’s issue was discovered at the right time, giving us time to digest it, to live within it, to learn about the matter, and to understand that finally—there is something that can be done. It’s a great consolation to know that there are solutions like a cochlear implant. Thanks to Hashem’s great mercy, enabling us to gain wisdom and invent advanced technology—my children can hear me, and that is the true miracle for me."

When Ayala first heard you with the help of the cochlear implant installed in her ears, did you notice changes in her behavior?

"Certainly. More than that, I’ll tell you—on the day we went to the hospital to install the implant, Ayala woke up in a completely different mood than other days. Surprisingly, from all her clothes, she chose her Shabbat outfit. She was especially happy, and it was clear she felt the festive atmosphere prevailing at home for this important occasion."

Grateful to Hashem for the Trial and Miracles

Even at the hospital when the doctors attached the devices to her ears—little Ayala astonished everyone by pointing suddenly at her ear, as if to say: ‘Mom, now I can hear you.’

"It was a very moving and significant moment for us," the mother says with emotion. "To see a child, who for a few months lived in her own world, closed and isolated in a silent void, suddenly making sounds and syllables—there’s no miracle like it. The process we went through with Ayala and Benjamin not only strengthened our family ties but also heightened our sensitivity towards each other and others greatly. More than that, I can say that most mothers of healthy children I know, including myself, often don’t notice the small daily miracles happening to their children. Observing the amazing processes your child goes through, the changes and successes, even if they’re small—is a huge wonder that must be thanked for every moment. My Benjamin, who is 10 months old and also underwent the surgery for a cochlear implant, has been able to hear me for a month now. Little Ayala is already stringing three words into a sentence... if these aren’t miracles, I don’t know what is.

"Indeed, it’s not easy to deal with this, and true, sometimes the devices break and there’s a lot of work and educational investment, so that the children can absorb the vocabulary, and true, I constantly pray with tears that the effort will prove fruitful and that the children will grow up to be normative people filled with spiritual content, but it’s worth every moment. Thank Hashem we have a goal, and there is a direction to progress in. Though I was raised all my life to believe, I feel that my faith and gratitude to Hashem have grown immensely thanks to this trial."

What advice do you have for parents worried about a similar situation? Where can they turn for help?

"My advice—always keep an eye open, and do not disregard a mother's feelings. I’m not saying to live in hysteria, but these are real feelings with a basis, and they should be checked. Even if you’ve been blessed with an exceptional baby who sleeps through noise at home—you should check it out. Don’t be complacent. Do everything possible to rule out this possibility.

"Where to turn is a very good question because, in my experience, pediatricians almost don’t know how to identify problematic hearing issues. I remember one doctor asking me: ‘Are you sure the child cannot hear? He’s making noises after all.’ What she didn’t know is that a deaf baby makes sounds up to the age of half a year. Therefore, the best advice I can give is to go to speech therapists and hearing centers. They know best how to identify hearing problems and how to treat them. However, I hope and pray that, with the help of Hashem, no parent in Israel will have to reach that point."