Moti Heller: When Love Meets Paper and Paint

When Moti Heller talks about painting, it's hard for me to stop him. It's as if he opens his heart, pulling out a personal monologue, and spreads it widely, as if it were a precious treasure. After so many years of painting and thousands of artworks, I'm amazed to discover the love and yearning he feels for painting and think to myself for a moment, why don't I know how to draw? We divide this interview into two parts because the time he has to talk with me isn't very long. Heller, 35, a resident of Beitar Illit, is a leading artist in the Orthodox community, juggling between lectures on comics for adults, illustrated workshops on traffic safety in schools, and studies at Proge College, where he teaches painting.

He has been painting since he was six, "at least a few good hours every day," as he puts it. And no, he didn't do it at six just as a hobby during a boring class or a free afternoon, but as a hobby for which he woke up especially in the early morning hours. "I used to wake up in the morning before everyone, when the house was still quiet and everyone was asleep, and just sit with papers and pens or pencils and draw until I had to leave for the school day."

(Illustration: Moti Heller)

Sometimes Dreams Come True

If you ask Heller what gets a six-year-old up early to draw, he would answer without hesitation: "Love." Even then, he knew that's what he loved, and as a young boy, he already dreamt it would be his profession. And sometimes dreams do come true, don't they?.

His mother is his inspiration, and when he talks about her, his tone turns especially admiring. "My mom is very talented, an artist who never formally learned, she simply received a gift from Hashem. She paints a lot in oil, and I took inspiration, love, and passion from her. I wanted to mimic her."

(Illustration: Moti Heller)

I don't know if he succeeded in mimicking her or not, but what's sure is that he succeeded very much on his own, with evident help from Hashem. And not only his mom is someone to admire, but also his dad. "Both of them pushed and believed in me with all their might, encouraged, supported, and were there with me to such an extent that my dad, on one of his flights to the U.S., traveled all day across several cities in New York, miles apart, to buy me a special set of pens that couldn't be found anywhere else. It wasn't something to be taken for granted."

 "At the age of 11, I went to learn the basics of painting with Motha Barim, who gave me the initial foundations. Later, wanting to focus on a lighter illustration style, unlike oil paintings, I went to Yoni Gerstein. The first time I got to him was at age 15, and it was the happiest day of my life."

(Illustration: Moti Heller)

That much?

"Absolutely yes," he answers without hesitation. "Yoni took me under his wing. I visited him a lot, he literally built me from scratch." Gerstein, one of the most esteemed illustrators, perhaps the most esteemed among the Orthodox community, is known for his unique paintings and the cartoons he produces, and no Orthodox child doesn't know who he is.

Why would Yoni Gerstein invest so much in you?

"First, Yoni is a personality, always wanting to give, and I am blessed. He probably realized the potential," Heller laughs with slight embarrassment. "He saw the drive I came with, the desire, I didn't give up, I told him I wouldn't leave until I learned. And he really pushed me, and in return, I proved myself. I didn't stop practicing, drew a lot — every free moment. I got addicted."

(Illustration: Moti Heller)

Still, a 15-year-old, what about yeshiva studies?

"I have never painted at the expense of my study time, Heaven forbid," Heller wants to clarify. I really loved frameworks, really loved learning, and besides, Yoni conditioned our learning and training in painting not to come at the expense of studying. I practiced at night, during breaks, when everyone went to rest, to chat, or anything else, I would immerse in painting and not move. Over the years, I developed my own techniques, and painting became a profession." When I wonder which style he connects to more, or which painting of his he loves the most, getting an answer is impossible, he only notes that spiritual paintings make him delve much deeper. "I feel that there I need to put much more emphasis, attention, respect."

Woman Builds: "She Built My Career from Scratch"

At age 22, he got his dream job, a coveted role as the house cartoonist for the Orthodox daily 'Hamoida', a move that propelled him forward and gave him a platform to prove his talent. Yet, until he married his wife, Shoshana, it can be said he didn't really believe he would earn a living from the profession he so loved. "Look, I knew I got money for work, but here a job, there a job, can it really support a family? A wife, children? I was sure I'd also need to find a job where you only go to clock in and get a paycheck at the end of the month." And right then, as they say, behind every successful man stands a successful woman? This is the answer. Shoshana Heller decided she'd take on the hard work, making her husband believe he needed to stay in the unique place that made him feel good, and understand that this would be his livelihood. "She indeed made sacrifices," Heller says. It's responsibility, it's a concession, it's a risk. Who said there would always be work for me? Who said there would be enough work to earn a living? But she did the unimaginable. She organized, advised, marketed, worked full-time, and brought me to the belief that I found my source of income. If not for her, it can be said I'd keep painting a lot as a hobby, but not as a main livelihood." Indeed, since she came into his life, he's painted newspapers, children's books, comics, the lectures he gives, of course, and he also has spiritual works. He paints anything requested of him, provided it meets the boundaries of Jewish spirit. "Since, thank God, I became known, and people started turning to me with various work requests, I also received offers for paintings in places not adhering to sacred purity from the outset. I have no problem painting any content by nature, my red line is clear: I won't paint expressions against Judaism, or lacking modesty. Clearly, I gave up these jobs. There's no comparing ten general works to one that brings satisfaction and an exalted feeling, like a perfect painting for High Holy Days, for example."

Heller sees the world through a different lens than others. "In every painting, I discover a wonderful world, it never bores me, and I can be impressed with every painting as if it's my first."

(Illustration: Moti Heller)

The hobby turned profession, doesn't it cause some leniency in work?

"On the contrary," he shudders. "Over the years, I only fell more in love. True, technically, deadlines are tight, and sometimes a lot must be accomplished in too little time, but I will never produce a creation that seems haphazard. There's no wear and tear in my profession because I'm always renewing, influenced by others, learning, exploring, checking, and always feeling the involvement and renewal. With every creation, with every new technique, it's simply bliss. I'm thrilled this is my profession."

Chol Hamoed: "Feels Like a Part of My Body Isn't Functioning"

On Chol Hamoed days, when writing or drawing is forbidden, Heller feels something isn't right with him. "Chol Hamoed days are hard for me," he admits. "I feel as if my hand was cut off, God forbid. It's forbidden to work, and I feel as if my body isn't functioning. I have to draw at least a few good hours daily, I'm addicted. But on the other hand, Chol Hamoed days recharge me a lot, and the fact that I haven't drawn for a week leads to a tremendous charge after the holiday, and I have high energy for months."

On holidays, when he's not painting, he uses his additional talent for music. Heller plays guitar and violin, delighting in weddings, and at Simchat Beit HaShoeva. The highlight is Simchat Beit HaShoeva in the Karlin Chassidus, to which he belongs. "When I need good inspiration for a special painting, I sit in the studio, play the guitar, make music, get inspired, and move on to my tools."

(Illustration: Moti Heller)

On Heller's Facebook page, a lot of support and love for his colleagues' creations can be seen. "I love to commend, and also give critique. I built myself only on critique." When I draw a scenario people commented on, I'll remember the things and correct accordingly. One can't build only on compliments, accuracy is essential. I'm not afraid to commend, on the contrary. I believe everyone has work and livelihood from Heaven."

One of Heller's cartoons depicts the tunnels of Hamas in Gaza with the caption "Concealment within concealment" prominently above them. "I came to play at a wedding, and the organist approached me and said, 'Maybe do something nice with the song "and even within concealment"?' And I responded without thinking, 'Please, I'm tired, that song has already been heard so much everywhere that it's a bit worn out.' Then someone approached me and said, 'You know he's the one who composed the song?' I needed buckets of cement to cover up that blunder. Since we were in 'Protective Edge', I linked things to a drawing."

Where will you be in 15 years?

"No one can tell what will be tomorrow, but if I could, I'd hope to be twice as good as I am today. Fifteen years ago, I knew I had ability and potential, I aimed high, and thank God, I was blessed to reach a good place and be who I am today. But one must always aim very high to reach at least half of the aspiration."

(Illustration: Moti Heller)

(Illustration: Moti Heller)

(Illustration: Moti Heller)