Yes, I Am Petty

Let's take a closer look at the current state of family life worldwide.

According to reports from the National Center for Health Statistics in the United States, only 56% of adults in the country are married. The divorce rate has tripled in the last thirty years, and 28% of children live in single-parent families. Less than 50% of children grow up in a complete family unit throughout their childhood. In fact, it seems that the concept of family has become a thing of the past...

The impact of these statistics on future generations is alarming: many children from broken families become adults who struggle to build close relationships, do not succeed in creating stable marriages, and cannot hold onto their employment for long. There is no dispute that this family crisis takes a heavy toll on both body and soul. People walk around in pain, families suffer, and children pay the price for their parents' confusion.

Research consistently shows a high correlation between divorce rates and the prevalence of every conceivable social problem.

Exhibitionism and envy form the foundations of contemporary social life, both symbolizing a lack of modesty. In contrast, the people of Israel have always excelled in ensuring that "their doorways did not face each other" (Rashi, Numbers 24:5). Indeed, the permissive society around us creates various temptations that pose significant obstacles to family integrity.

But what does all of this have to do with us, observant Jews? Our lives are shielded within our vibrant and bustling communities...

These issues are closely connected. Despite our best efforts to protect ourselves, what happens in the general public still affects the observant community. Our eyes act like cameras, capturing everything they see. Our ears function like recorders, encrypting every sound. Our minds operate as sophisticated computers, storing every bit of information like a well-cemented pit that loses no drop. Everything we see and hear engraves itself on our souls. Just as we ensure that everything we eat is kosher, we must guarantee that everything we see and hear is "kosher."

Some argue: "I can see and hear everything without being influenced." The truth behind this claim is akin to saying, "I can use hard drugs without being affected." First and foremost, we must be aware of the powerful influence of our environment. Then, we can move to the next step: protecting our souls against that influence.

Rabbi Simcha Wasserman, of blessed memory, used to say that the greatest challenge of our generation is guarding against the penetration of the outside world into our inner existence. Modern technology means that the outside world infiltrates our homes, minds, and souls with just the push of a button. Radio, video, the internet, newspapers, magazines, books, and billboards have become so accessible and available in our time that only constant alertness to the dangers will help us be smart enough to protect our souls. Without realizing it, harmful materials enter our homes from various directions, often under seemingly innocent disguises.

This is the challenge of our generation: to keep harmful influences at bay. It's not an easy challenge at all. The Talmudic sages spoke of our days, the "heels of the Messiah," saying, "May he come, but may I not see him" (Sanhedrin 98b) - hoping for his arrival without facing the trials that accompany it! As Rabbi Dessler explained, towards the future redemption, "Israel will face great trials that the sages feared when they said, 'May he come, but may I not see him'... and the Maharal interpreted this as fearing they might not withstand the challenge of that time" (Michtav MeEliyahu, Part 2, p. 34).

If the sages were so concerned about enduring the trials of the "heels of the Messiah," how much more should we, "the small ones," worry? How will we stand up to these challenges?

The answer is that despite the enormous difficulty, the very fact that we are the ones who must face these trials is proof that we have the ability to withstand them. It is a well-known principle that Hashem never gives a person or generation a challenge they cannot overcome. "Hashem does not come unjustifiably with His creations" (Avodah Zarah 3a). Every generation inherits the spiritual genes of Abraham the Hebrew, called so because the whole world stood on one side and he on the opposing side. The Jewish people have the ability to withstand societal pressures. We must know and believe that we have the power to accomplish this task, and with divine help, we shall succeed: we will choose not to be influenced. Clear Halachic boundaries exist for this purpose, and great Torah figures are planted in every generation whose instructions must not be changed - adherence to Halachic boundaries and the instructions of the greats of the generation provide us with clear limits that prevent unsightly influences from creeping in.

* * *

Ruthie went out for some shopping to buy a new outfit for the upcoming Passover holiday. One store caught her eye with a bright, eye-catching sign: "Sale! 50% off on the entire store!".

Ruthie entered the store and began examining the suits and dresses on the racks and stands.

Then she saw it.

Ruthie was simply enchanted by the style she loved and the perfect color. Holding her breath, she removed the outfit from the rack. She already knew she would look wonderful in it. She tried it on and stood in front of the large mirror, evaluating her image with the outfit on. Truly lovely, she thought to herself with satisfaction... but wait, was the skirt a bit shorter than allowed, or was it just her imagination?

"You look amazing!" the saleswoman enthusiastically complimented her. "Look how the color matches your eyes! You must have noticed it's a designer suit, and today you can buy it at a fifty percent discount from the original price! You didn't even need to try it on; you can see it fits you perfectly. Shall I wrap it up for you?".

"Just a moment," Ruthie hesitated, "I'm not so sure about the length."

The saleswoman stepped back and examined the skirt. "Oh, it covers your knees with room to spare!" she assured her customer confidently.

"I want to make sure its length meets the standard," Ruthie said firmly.

"Of course," the saleswoman smiled. There was no way the customer would pass up such a find. She had no doubt about it. She hurried to fetch a tape measure and began stretching it along. Both the saleswoman and Ruthie held their breaths in anticipation, hoping everything was in order. Finally, the saleswoman straightened up, a look of satisfaction on her face.

"Perfection!" she declared triumphantly. "The skirt is only two centimeters shorter than the one you're wearing!".

"Thank you for your efforts," Ruthie said with determination, "but I won't buy a skirt that is too short, even if it's just by two centimeters."

She returned the outfit to its place and left the store, leaving behind a stunned saleswoman still holding the tape measure.

Even though the saleswoman lost a lucrative deal, she gained admiration for a Jewish woman who showed unwavering loyalty to Jewish law, without fearing to appear petty.

* * *

Modesty protects what is most dear to us. It is our duty to properly value what we cherish so that we will have the necessary willpower to stand against foreign influences. The Chofetz Chaim, of blessed memory, used to say: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but only when no strong winds blow. Today, we all know very strong winds blow outside, and even extremely strong ones.

We must understand what the consequences of even the smallest deviation from what is allowed can be. Where could yielding just two centimeters lead?

The following example illustrates this:

It was a tense yet thrilling moment at the launch site. The spacecraft was about to be sent to Mars, and the countdown had begun.

"Ten... Nine... Eight... Seven...".

Heightened anticipation filled the air.

"Four... Three... Two...".

Suddenly, at the critical moment, the countdown was stopped. The launch was canceled! After all the long and feverish preparations, the spacecraft would not be launched to Mars.

"What happened?" the onlookers wondered aloud, "What went wrong?".

NASA scientists quickly explained. "The spacecraft is deviating by a quarter of a millionth of an inch. We have no choice but to cancel the launch."

"Are you sane?" those unfamiliar with the space agency team asked incredulously. "You're canceling a launch for a quarter of a millionth of an inch?! Canceling will cause a $27 million loss! It's a terrible waste of taxpayer money!"

The scientists chuckled at the claim and waved their hands dismissively. "You, who are not professionals and do not know the basic concepts of astronomy, simply do not understand. If we launched the spacecraft without considering the deviation discovered, it would not reach Mars. Who knows, it might end up on Jupiter... A deviation of a millionth of an inch at the start means a gigantic deviation at the end of the course!"

* * *

We must recognize the dangers of any deviation from the path, even the smallest. Giving up two centimeters in length, a very slight exposure of the elbow or knee seems like an almost negligible deviation that cannot harm and even seems petty, but its damage can be significant. Firstly, this is a complete breach of Halachic boundaries - something serious in itself. Furthermore, over time, and in the context of the following generations, such a small deviation could become a massive breach. Many members of the Jewish people have fallen victim to such minor deviations. The disintegration of the family and widespread intermarriages are a painful example of where it could lead. Often it all begins with a small concession. Two centimeters turn into four, then six, then eight, and so on, and then it's a short road to deviation from Halachah in other areas - a deviation whose end, who can foresee?

The exile we are in today, the Edomite exile, is characterized by emptiness. Esau, the father of Edom, had no more constructive pursuit than hunting animals. This emptiness led to a culture of immorality and corruption of character.

Our challenge is to ensure that no influence from the Edomites affects us - from their street, their fashions, their media, their values, their materialism, their way of speaking, their behavior, in short, their emptiness.

This is our trial.