What is a Common Mistake of those Becoming Religiously Observant?

1. Aspire high, but advance gradually. The thought of 'being religiously fine with where I am' can keep us stuck. Never underestimate yourself or settle at your current level, but believe in your potential to reach greater spiritual heights. Even if you don’t feel ready, plan each next step in your religious growth journey, and once you feel stable where you are, move forward. The important point is to never stop aspiring for progress.

Additionally, it’s important to remember that we are not expected to change overnight. Progressing in religious growth should be gradual and balanced- to become stable at the level you achieve, feel that it is a part of you without overwhelming or burdening yourself, and to feel joy in your current place. Then, take the next step upwards, and so forth.

2. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. It’s natural to want to persuade those around us of the truth of the Torah and the obligation to observe its commandments. However, it can be easy to slip into unpleasant situations such as getting into heated debates, or giving off a sense of superiority.

Giving others the impression that "I was privileged to see the light, and you are the poor one living in darkness" or getting into arguments is not the way to draw others to Judaism. It may in fact repel them. The best way to bring others closer is in a peaceful and understandable manner, perhaps by sending a video or sharing a book of faith. Most importantly, when others see that you are a more pleasant and better person through your spiritual growth, this is the greatest sanctification of Hashem's name.

3. Unpleasant reactions from your surroundings? This too shall pass. Nearly everyone on a religious growth path reaches a point where they receive not-so-wonderful reactions from their environment about the changes happening within them, especially when these changes include external symbols like a kippah for men or increased modesty for women. This also presents new challenges such as avoiding certain places that no longer align with the new commitments. This demands internal strength to withstand the pressures and side glances, but eventually, this phase will be behind you, and people will understand your new way of life. With time they will stop questioning where the kippah came from or inviting you to non-kosher restaurants to avoid the uncomfortable refusal. The fear of what others will say holds many back from taking the steps they wish to take, and yet, the phase of social reactions is short and passes quickly. After crossing the bridge, the feared monster isn’t as terrible as imagined, and with time, appreciation of others increases

4. King Solomon: "I ask for wisdom." Looking for a book to strengthen your faith? In the following articles, we’ve gathered the best recommended books that will help you understand, connect, and know Judaism on a deeper level.
Essential Books for the Jewish Home: Looking for a book to strengthen your faith? Morality, law, and faith – these are the recommended ones

Jewish Book Month: Want to know more about the world of Judaism? These are the recommended books

5. "It is not good for man to be alone."Many people on a religious growth journey at some point find themselves surrounded by people who are no longer on the same page as them. They think differently, speak differently, their lifestyle changes, and those around them are on a different path. It’s very beneficial both spiritually and mentally to get to know new people who are also on a similar spiritual journey of observance. While you can listen to Torah lessons with a click through media tools, it is still worthwhile to attend physical Torah classes in your area with a group of similarly aged people and to meet new friends. It is recommended for men to find a synagogue where they feel comfortable with the congregation, and where there is a good and welcoming atmosphere.

6. It's not 'all or nothing'. Even if you’re not yet fully observing Torah and mitzvot, every mitzvah you fulfill brings you closer to Hashem. Lighting Shabbat candles, putting on tefillin, or saying a blessing are spiritual actions that benefit your soul. Therefore, if you aren’t yet able to keep all the mitzvot, you can choose one mitzva that is doable. Also, if you want to strengthen yourself in a specific mitzvah that you find difficult to keep fully, you can start by observing it partially and gradually increase. For example, with prayer- you can begin with one prayer, with modesty- start with one day a week, and similarly with keeping Shabbat – you can reduce Sabbath desecration by avoiding turning lights on or off (you can install a Shabbat timer for the lights), by disconnecting the fridge light that goes on and off with the door, setting a timer on the air conditioner, avoiding cooking on Shabbat by preparing food in advance, using a water heater and hot plate, refraining from phone use at least for several hours, and so on.

7. Seek advice when needed. Not sure which school to enroll your children? Wondering how to manage a marriage when only one spouse is growing spiritually? Struggling to advance in your spirituality? It's not necessary to face these challenges alone. It's advisable to seek guidance from rabbis familiar with the journeys of those new to observance, who can assist.

Also read:

111 Ideas for Small Resolutions

Strengthening and need help? Contact us - Hidabroot Guidance and Counseling Department: Tel' 073-2221230