The Importance of Connection According to Torah

To live as a soloist, disconnected from society, and to hum to humanity the saying: "Not your honey and not your sting" is indeed a personal choice, but this impacts the entire spiritual world of the person.

The Creator created the first human's wife, Eve, and it is said, "It is not good for man to be alone." Let us not restrict this to husband-wife relationships but view it as a general statement about interpersonal relationships. Hashem implanted in each of us the fact that loneliness is harmful. This is not only about life in this world, but also concerns the eternal spiritual world. After all, what happens in any kind of relationship, especially at home? Clashes of desires, and it is said - "a helper against him". This means the woman is often the "opposition" of the husband, but this creates the inner elevation of both. The contrast requires a person to step out of their selfishness, their mental fixation, their wants and interests, thereby growing into a person who no longer lives in their own bubble, but sees others, compromises, forgives, and gives. Thus, the "against him" becomes the "helper".

Interpersonal relationships provide fertile ground for personal growth. The popular call in our days for personal empowerment indeed provides enriching content for one's inner self and equips them with skills and a toolbox to assist them in life. It is crucial not to forget that the most basic and lofty personal empowerment is the work of self-refinement and character improvement.

It is specifically through society that one can perform this spiritual work, for a person stuck alone on a deserted island will never have to overcome anger at someone, will not need to do chesed (acts of kindness) for anyone, nor will they need to give in to someone else. While they may develop survival skills and discover the best method for opening a coconut, their inner self will remain the same the day they leave the island as the day they arrived.

The Creator commanded us with commandments between man and Hashem, alongside commandments between man and his fellow. There is no unnecessary commandment; each and every one is intended for the betterment of the person. Rabbi Akiva even chose to say specifically on the commandment "Love your neighbor as yourself" that it is a great principle in the Torah among all the Torah's commandments. And why specifically this commandment? Hashem created the creatures, and one who does not love them cannot love their Creator, much like one cannot despise someone's children and simultaneously claim to love their father. A person who does not love the people around him is a person closed within their private universe, concerned with their own affairs alone, and such a person is also uninterested in the world and likewise in the Creator of the world.

Only through interest and love for others can one leave the confined bubble of the self, and grow into a place of love of Hashem and spiritual values. Thus, "Love your neighbor as yourself" is essentially the gateway to all the Torah's commandments.

The Weekly Challenge

This week, perform an act of chesed for someone such as providing professional support to a colleague at work or a friend in studies; bake a cake for the neighbor; encourage someone in distress or do something that will make a family member happy.